Today I'm 27 weeks pregnant. Time is flying now! The first trimester seemed to drag on and on, but since about week 15 time has just flown. Yikes!
I've scheduled our birthing class - it's a one off class, for 5 hours on a Saturday in March. We'd much rather do that than weekly classes, and my husband's work schedule has been a little crazy during the evenings lately so I think the Saturday class was our best bet. There's a tour of Labor & Delivery during the class, too, so that should be good.
We ordered our crib on Sunday night! We got it from Diapers.com - they had a special where you get a free mattress. Sold! We were going to order it from Target but they had an offer where you could get the same mattress for half price. Free is better than half price, obviously! The mattress arrived this morning and the crib arrived this afternoon! :)
I really want to get going with the nursery now. It would be nice to have the crib set up before my mom and stepdad arrive next Friday. If not by then, definitely by my baby shower. The shower was originally going to be at a friend's house, hosted by 3 friends, but the venue got changed to our house. That's fine, but I'm expecting that people will be wanting to see the nursery so it'd be nice to have it somewhat set up! We have some pictures to put up on the walls and I wanted to get some of those super cute wall decals, but we have textured walls so that wouldn't work. I'm thinking that we might be able to use them on the closet doors, though - we'll have to see if they'll work!
We're not painting the nursery, although I'd kind of like to. The whole house has white walls, which is fine because nothing clashes, you know? Part of me would like to paint the nursery, but I think we'll probably leave it as it is and just brighten it up with pictures and furnishings - we might get a nice colorful rug for the floor. We already bought a laundry basket which came with a bunch of smaller baskets - I figured the small baskets would be useful for things like baby toiletries and small things like socks, burp cloths etc. We haven't ordered a dresser yet, but hopefully we'll do that soon. We didn't get the one that matches our crib, because it was like $400 and the 4-way convertible crib was only $209! The dresser seemed to be a bit of a rip off, honestly. I guess they price the crib like that to pull you in so you'll pay through the nose for the matching items. I'm sure whatever we end up with will look just fine, anyway! :)
I can't believe it's only a little over 2 weeks until my shower!! My friends wanted to throw it when my mom is here, so they picked Sunday March 3rd. I'll be 29 weeks 3 days then. It's probably a little earlier than most baby showers, but the plus side is that I shouldn't be too uncomfortable by that point. I'd hate to have my shower at 36 weeks or something like that! Now being from the UK I've never, ever been to a baby shower so I have to admit I don't really know what to expect. It'll be interesting, that's for sure! I think baby showers are becoming a "thing" in the UK now, but they never really were when I lived there. It'll be an experience! I think we'll have about 25 people here in total. My friends are coming a couple of hours before the shower starts to get things set up, and they said they'll clean up afterwards too. I'm not allowed to help with anything, although I keep offering, LOL. I really appreciate that they're going to all this trouble for me, I really never expected to have a baby shower in the first place.
So as I said, my mom and stepdad arrive a week tomorrow. They're staying with us from 2/22 until 3/9. I think my Narcissist dad has really put me off having house-guests, because even though I should be looking forward to it I'm kind of dreading it. I don't know why, because I know they'd never act the way he did. I'm sure they'll be good house-guests. I think I just kind of like our normal routine and not having to consider other people very much. Wow, that sounds really selfish - I promise I'm not, I just like my privacy! :) At least they'll have a car so they can go off and do things. They're going up to Sedona and spending a night there, and they're also going down to Tucson for a day. They have a horseback riding trip planned for one day, too. I don't know what else they'll be doing, maybe they'll go to the zoo (or both zoos, LOL). We have a big adoption event one of the weekends they're here, and they said they want to come and help out there. Fine by me - I'll sit down and do paperwork, haha.
We had a foster pug for a few weeks, but he really wasn't working out with our own pugs (he kept snapping at them for no reason) so we had to give him to a different foster home. I just found out last night that we're getting a new foster on Saturday, he's 9 years old and hopefully sweet like most of them have been previously! Out of 10 fosters we've only had one not work out, so that's not a bad record at all. We did give him a chance, but 3 weeks with no improvement is kind of ridiculous. He's 12 years old and honestly not that adoptable, which wouldn't bother me at all, but if he was going to continue being that way I couldn't imagine fostering him for a year or more - especially with a baby on the way! I'm looking forward to getting our new foster, anyway. It just sucks that we have to drive almost an hour to get him - we were looking forward to a quiet weekend with nothing planned, since it'll be our last quiet weekend for about a month!). I think we're picking up 3 pugs, though, to bring them back to our side of town (we're fostering 1, the other 2 will go to other foster homes) - so it's a very worthwhile couple of hours of driving. :)
Showing posts with label new foster pug. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new foster pug. Show all posts
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Thursday, August 16, 2012
I'm still alive, even if I feel dead on the inside!
Last time I posted I was so depressed... so angry with life. After a couple of days I started to feel better, but it seems like with every passing month the feeling of despair just gets worse.
My husband gets really disappointed when all I get is BFNs, but he doesn't have the same feeling of total and utter devastation that I get. I understand, it's different for men to some extent. He says the worst thing for him is seeing me so upset and not being able to make me feel any better. He suggested that maybe we should see an infertility counselor. I guess it's probably a good idea. I don't have too many awful days, but the bad days I do have can be pretty terrible. I think we'll be making an appointment soon. We also need to go and see a fertility specialist. There are a couple of additional tests I could have run, maybe one of those would shed more light on why we're not conceiving. Maybe not, too. At this point, I just wish someone could tell me if we're ever going to have a baby. If the answer was "no" then I could try to move on. As it stands, there's this cycle of hope and despair and I don't feel like we can give up yet because maybe something will happen soon. Sometimes I really do feel like just quitting TTC, but I know I can't do that yet.
I chatted with one of my best friends on Skype yesterday, and she's one of the few people IRL who I've told about this stuff. Well, she means well but she really doesn't get it. I know she can't possibly truly understand, because she's not at a point in her life where she's TTC. Some of the stuff she's come out with, though, is super frustrating. She told me that someone she knows couldn't get pregnant, and she went on vacation to a tropical island and came back pregnant. Then she told me that she knows someone who tried for 2 years before getting pregnant. OK, so I know we haven't been trying for that long, but when 12 months of TTC with no pregnancy is the definition of infertility, of course I'm frustrated after 14 months! I explained that we even know we've timed everything right every single time, so it's even more frustrating - it's not like we're missing our chance, you know?
She then said that "There are people much worse off!". Yes, thanks for that; like I don't know that?! I used to work in a hospital, with terminally ill patients. I get that things "could be worse". I know. It really doesn't make me feel any better about our situation, though. All I could say was "There's always someone worse off! Anytime anybody complains about anything, there's always someone in a worse position. If you were going through this, you'd understand how I feel". And honestly, I hope she never does have to go through this because it freaking sucks. I said, "For someone who's always wanted to have children, not being able to even get pregnant is a terrible thing". I told her that we have no idea if we'll ever have a baby, and she said "Don't say that, it makes me sad when you say things like that". Then she admitted that she knows I have to be realistic. I told her that all the positive thinking in the world isn't going to get me pregnant - and that it ends up making me feel worse, because it inevitably gets my hopes up. I explained how people saying things like "relax!" isn't helpful, and she said that it's better than saying something like "I'll pray for you". Well, all I really want people to say is "I'm so sorry, I'm here for you if you ever want to talk about it". I explained that I know nothing anybody says is going to change our situation, but minimizing the problem isn't the right thing to do. Anyway, I think after talking she understood a little more. Although she did suggest that we could use a surrogate... I wonder if the next "helpful advice" will be, "Why don't you just adopt?!".
This week my hubby is away on business, so it's just me and the dogs. I managed to persuade him to agree to taking in another foster pug, so we picked him up on Saturday. I know I must be crazy, because now we have 2 pugs of our own and 3 fosters. Oh well! The fact is that pug rescue has to spend quite a lot of money boarding pugs when there are no foster spaces available, and that money would obviously be better spent on vet bills. The cost to board one pug for a week could pay for a dental cleaning, so when you look at it that way it's better that we took one extra. We won't be able to take any more, though, until someone gets adopted. We actually had 6 pugs on Saturday night, because we picked up another from boarding at the same time as our new foster (he went to a different foster home on Sunday). That was really tough and I don't want to do that again! It was OK because we knew the 6th one was only staying for one night, but it was hard work.
Our new foster has been kind of difficult because he hasn't wanted to eat much, and he had 4 medications when we got him which required him to eat! I was seriously frustrated the first few days because he wouldn't really eat and wouldn't take his pills without a fight. Pill Pockets would work occasionally, but not consistently. I had to resort to using a pill dispensing syringe, which he obviously hated. Thankfully since yesterday he's eaten better and taken his pills better. It helps that now he only has to take 1 pill a day, rather than 4. He had a dental last week and had to have 18 teeth removed (poor baby!) so he had antibiotics and painkillers for that. He also has a skin infection on his face, so he has a pill for that too. That's the only one left now, so that's a relief.
His name is Cimon - Simon with a "C", because we've had other "Simons" in rescue and it gets really confusing with vet records etc. if we have multiple dogs with the same name! Unfortunately, my stupid ex was also named Simon. Luckily this "Cimon" is a million times sweeter, LOL.
My hubby left on Sunday morning, then I had the pug adoption event to run (we had an adoption, yay!) and by the time I got home I was so tired. I spent most of Monday and a couple of hours on Tuesday sewing, then cleaned the house because my friend was coming over for dinner Tuesday night. I made a pizza which turned out great :) She brought cupcakes for us from this little bakery, they were so good!
I think I'll try to organize the "baby room" today and hopefully get some ideas together for my craft room. It's senseless to have the room sitting there with no real purpose. We moved in almost a year ago and we've never used the room for anything other than random storage. At this point there's really no point in keeping it for some theoretical baby that doesn't exist... so screw it, I'm going to transform it into a useful, happy space.
My husband gets really disappointed when all I get is BFNs, but he doesn't have the same feeling of total and utter devastation that I get. I understand, it's different for men to some extent. He says the worst thing for him is seeing me so upset and not being able to make me feel any better. He suggested that maybe we should see an infertility counselor. I guess it's probably a good idea. I don't have too many awful days, but the bad days I do have can be pretty terrible. I think we'll be making an appointment soon. We also need to go and see a fertility specialist. There are a couple of additional tests I could have run, maybe one of those would shed more light on why we're not conceiving. Maybe not, too. At this point, I just wish someone could tell me if we're ever going to have a baby. If the answer was "no" then I could try to move on. As it stands, there's this cycle of hope and despair and I don't feel like we can give up yet because maybe something will happen soon. Sometimes I really do feel like just quitting TTC, but I know I can't do that yet.
I chatted with one of my best friends on Skype yesterday, and she's one of the few people IRL who I've told about this stuff. Well, she means well but she really doesn't get it. I know she can't possibly truly understand, because she's not at a point in her life where she's TTC. Some of the stuff she's come out with, though, is super frustrating. She told me that someone she knows couldn't get pregnant, and she went on vacation to a tropical island and came back pregnant. Then she told me that she knows someone who tried for 2 years before getting pregnant. OK, so I know we haven't been trying for that long, but when 12 months of TTC with no pregnancy is the definition of infertility, of course I'm frustrated after 14 months! I explained that we even know we've timed everything right every single time, so it's even more frustrating - it's not like we're missing our chance, you know?
She then said that "There are people much worse off!". Yes, thanks for that; like I don't know that?! I used to work in a hospital, with terminally ill patients. I get that things "could be worse". I know. It really doesn't make me feel any better about our situation, though. All I could say was "There's always someone worse off! Anytime anybody complains about anything, there's always someone in a worse position. If you were going through this, you'd understand how I feel". And honestly, I hope she never does have to go through this because it freaking sucks. I said, "For someone who's always wanted to have children, not being able to even get pregnant is a terrible thing". I told her that we have no idea if we'll ever have a baby, and she said "Don't say that, it makes me sad when you say things like that". Then she admitted that she knows I have to be realistic. I told her that all the positive thinking in the world isn't going to get me pregnant - and that it ends up making me feel worse, because it inevitably gets my hopes up. I explained how people saying things like "relax!" isn't helpful, and she said that it's better than saying something like "I'll pray for you". Well, all I really want people to say is "I'm so sorry, I'm here for you if you ever want to talk about it". I explained that I know nothing anybody says is going to change our situation, but minimizing the problem isn't the right thing to do. Anyway, I think after talking she understood a little more. Although she did suggest that we could use a surrogate... I wonder if the next "helpful advice" will be, "Why don't you just adopt?!".
This week my hubby is away on business, so it's just me and the dogs. I managed to persuade him to agree to taking in another foster pug, so we picked him up on Saturday. I know I must be crazy, because now we have 2 pugs of our own and 3 fosters. Oh well! The fact is that pug rescue has to spend quite a lot of money boarding pugs when there are no foster spaces available, and that money would obviously be better spent on vet bills. The cost to board one pug for a week could pay for a dental cleaning, so when you look at it that way it's better that we took one extra. We won't be able to take any more, though, until someone gets adopted. We actually had 6 pugs on Saturday night, because we picked up another from boarding at the same time as our new foster (he went to a different foster home on Sunday). That was really tough and I don't want to do that again! It was OK because we knew the 6th one was only staying for one night, but it was hard work.
Our new foster has been kind of difficult because he hasn't wanted to eat much, and he had 4 medications when we got him which required him to eat! I was seriously frustrated the first few days because he wouldn't really eat and wouldn't take his pills without a fight. Pill Pockets would work occasionally, but not consistently. I had to resort to using a pill dispensing syringe, which he obviously hated. Thankfully since yesterday he's eaten better and taken his pills better. It helps that now he only has to take 1 pill a day, rather than 4. He had a dental last week and had to have 18 teeth removed (poor baby!) so he had antibiotics and painkillers for that. He also has a skin infection on his face, so he has a pill for that too. That's the only one left now, so that's a relief.
His name is Cimon - Simon with a "C", because we've had other "Simons" in rescue and it gets really confusing with vet records etc. if we have multiple dogs with the same name! Unfortunately, my stupid ex was also named Simon. Luckily this "Cimon" is a million times sweeter, LOL.
My hubby left on Sunday morning, then I had the pug adoption event to run (we had an adoption, yay!) and by the time I got home I was so tired. I spent most of Monday and a couple of hours on Tuesday sewing, then cleaned the house because my friend was coming over for dinner Tuesday night. I made a pizza which turned out great :) She brought cupcakes for us from this little bakery, they were so good!
I think I'll try to organize the "baby room" today and hopefully get some ideas together for my craft room. It's senseless to have the room sitting there with no real purpose. We moved in almost a year ago and we've never used the room for anything other than random storage. At this point there's really no point in keeping it for some theoretical baby that doesn't exist... so screw it, I'm going to transform it into a useful, happy space.
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