Guess I was wrong

Damn... I really thought we'd done it this time, but my temp dropped to 97.3 this morning (a drop of 0.7 from yesterday's temp). I expect I'll start spotting today and then my period will follow on Sunday. A new cycle for the new year, wonderful...

I feel like such an idiot for actually thinking I was pregnant. I really thought I was, and that I'd get my BFP sometime within the next few days. The signs were good - possible implantation bleeding at 8dpo, a triphasic chart, no spotting at 11dpo which I usually have... I had a few reasons to think it could finally be happening, it wasn't just me being hopeful.

When we started TTC in June, I thought I'd probably be pregnant before the end of the year. Well, I didn't count on my cycles being long due to late ovulation. Out of the 5 cycles I've charted, I've ovulated 4 times. Of those 4 times, 1 time would've been impossible to get pregnant because my LP went to 8 days. So I suppose really we've only had 3 definite chances to get pregnant so far. When you look at it that way, I suppose not being pregnant yet is no big surprise. It just really sucks that all this time of TTC has resulted in nothing but frustration. I know lots of people struggle for years, so I don't want to be insensitive to them. Seven months is nothing when compared to that, I know.

The only thing I'm happy about is that my LP seems to have gone back to normal. Or at least a lot better than it was last month. If my LP is 13 days as it has been every cycle except for the last one, my period will arrive on 1/1/12. Even if it comes tomorrow, my LP will have been 12 days which is fine. So there's the silver lining of this huge black cloud, I guess.

My dad's here until 1/3, and things have been OK for the most part save for a huge argument on Wednesday (12/28). I'll write about that another time, though. I just wish we didn't have any house guests at all because I really am in no mood for entertaining right now. I just want to curl up in bed and throw myself a pity party.