Willpower...

Something I generally lack! Not today, however.

This morning (9 dpo) I woke up and took my temp (98.2), went back to sleep, woke up again and then lay in bed debating the pros and cons of testing today. Now clearly 9 dpo is most likely too early to test, but that's never stopped me in the past. I used to be really crazy and test at 8 dpo routinely. Anyway, I managed to talk myself out of testing today because if I got a BFN it would make me sad. I know a BFN at this stage doesn't mean you're out, but despite knowing that, actually getting a BFN depresses me! If I thought I might actually get a BFP then I guess it'd be different, but I don't really feel any different. I always feel tired, bloated, gassy and a little crampy after I ovulate. I do feel a little nauseous but that's happened before too, so I'm not getting excited yet.

Testing today would most likely have been a big disappointment. Testing tomorrow, though... Well, I probably will. Even though one extra day probably won't make that much of a difference, it somehow sounds better to test at 10 dpo than 9 dpo. Or maybe it's just me. I'm still clinging to the small hope that the HSG will end up being all we needed to get that elusive BFP... If not this cycle, then maybe next cycle or the one after that. As long as my hubby isn't out of state, that is! If we didn't have the dogs then I guess I could go with him, but it would be about $300-400 to board the dogs Sunday through Friday (assuming we'd be back in time to pick them up on Friday), and we'd have to find a vacation foster home for our two fosters. Plus, I really don't want to go to Mississippi. I've actually been 3 times before, believe it or not. I had family there who we visited when I was a kid, as part of our US vacations. It's so humid there and I'd rather have the crazy (dry) heat we get here - even though it was 93 at 7.30 this morning, and it's been up to 116 the past couple of days... Plus, all things considered it would be pretty expensive for me to join my hubby out there - flights, dog boarding etc. So I'm hoping that either I get my BFP this cycle, or he'll be home during my fertile times for the next couple of cycles at least.

In other 'news' I'm preparing for my new pug rescue adoption event on Sunday. I think I have everything I need now, except for a couple of chairs which we'll probably get today. We bought a table which folds down really small and has a carrying handle. I got a donation jar, big water bowl, extra leashes... I need to print out all the paperwork I'll be needing, but I think we're pretty much set. I'm excited and a little apprehensive; I'm sure it'll go fine, but it'll be my first time "in charge" and I want to make sure it goes well and that I do a good job! So far we have 11 pugs and 6 or 7 volunteers, so it should be a good event. Hopefully we'll get some adoptions! :)

9 dpo

I'm 9 dpo today and so far my chart looks pretty good. I'm not really expecting anything to happen, but it would be so awesome if I finally got pregnant!

In a few days it'll be exactly a year since we officially started trying for a baby. If I'm not pregnant this cycle, I'll be getting my HSG and glucose testing done early in my next cycle (I'm thinking probably CD8, which should be around 6/18). I could potentially schedule the testing for 6/15 but my periods are anything from 4 to 6 days long, and if CD1 is 6/11 that might be too soon. Then it's the weekend 6/16 and 6/17, so the gynecology office is closed. I guess 6/18 would be my best bet, unless of course my period comes early (which I really hope it doesn't, because I don't want to have a LP defect!).

We're still going to the gym regularly, but I think I've maybe pulled something in my right calf because my usual workout using the 'hill' setting on the treadmill has been causing me problems the last couple of times we've been. Normally I would do an hour on that setting and burn 500 calories, but Sunday I had to quit the treadmill after 25 minutes and switch to the bike, and yesterday I had to change the program to a less intense one. I stayed on the treadmill but only burned 380 calories. It's better than nothing but I found it kind of frustrating that I couldn't do the workout I wanted to do. Oh well!

9 dpo today

I haven't had any further spotting or bleeding since my last post. It lasted for that one day (6 dpo) and that's it. This morning I tested and it was negative, which isn't too surprising since today is only 9 dpo. I should've waited, really. I guess I'll test again in a couple of days at 11 dpo. Who knows how long my LP will be this time... my last one was 15 days but it's usually 13. I'll just have to watch my temperatures and see what happens!

I've been having a lot of left-sided cramping and some back pain, which I read is a good sign, but at this point I've had almost every "pregnancy" symptom in the book at one point or another so I'm not really getting my hopes up too much! I'd like to think that it'll be our turn, but I need to be realistic too. In 2 days we'll have been TTC for 11 months, and each of my previous cycles has ended in major disappointment. That's not to say it's impossible for this cycle to have a different outcome: just that after all this time I'm so used to seeing BFNs and being disappointed that I can't invest too much in the idea that I could actually get a BFP.

My chart still looks pretty good and I'm not worried about my temp dropping this morning. There's every chance it could go back up tomorrow. Even if it doesn't, it's still way above my pre-ovulation temps so it's still OK.

 

Anyway I need to do the dishes, make bread and generally clean the house. Fun times! ;)

My chart as of today (9 DPO)

Here's my chart as of today, I think it looks pretty good if I do say so myself but I'm only 9 DPO today so anything could happen! Maybe it'll keep rising and become tri-phasic... Not that that guarantees pregnancy or anything, but it's interesting to see!

I'm really hoping I'll get my BFP soon, but if I don't get it this cycle I just hope that my luteal phase is long enough! With all of this cramping I've been having, since 4 DPO, I sometimes wonder if I'm about to get my period. I really hope not! My LP needs to be at least 12 days so here's hoping it will be. Apparently LP length is 14 days on average, with a range of 10-17 days, but doctors consider less than 12 days to be a LP defect so I'm really hoping I don't have that! It's easily treated apparently, but I'd still rather have it be normal of course. :-)

I'm probably going to test again in the morning because who am I kidding... I can't seem to help myself! Lol. Definitely not using one of my FRERs though, Wondfos all the way!

9 DPO

Against my better judgement I tested again this morning... Stupid! Negative. For some daft reason I used a Wondfo and a First Response. I must be crazy! Think I'm going to just test again on Sunday, and leave tomorrow out. Well, that's my plan anyway. Of course, my original plan was to not test today, so we'll see how well it goes! With the Wondfos they're so cheap that it's no biggie if I do overtest, I guess, but the FRERs? Not so much! I think this morning I was just curious if one would pick up a BFP. I won't use another FRER until after my period is due.