Back to feeling somewhat hopeful again

Today is CD12 and it seems as though I might ovulate soon. Last cycle I ovulated on CD15, but that was uncharacteristically early for me. I'll obviously be happy if it happens early again, though!

Right alongside the cautious hope I have right now is another emotion: fear. I'm scared that yet another cycle will pass, I still won't be pregnant and I'll take it even worse than last time. Last time was pretty bad, I felt utterly devastated. It seems that the longer this goes on, the harder it hits me each time we fail. Sometimes I want to just stop TTC, but I can't do that because we really want to have kids. I'm not sure how much longer I can do this, but I guess we'll take each month as it comes.

We haven't seen a specialist yet, because we keep putting it off. Maybe if we just wait a few more weeks we won't need to see anyone because I'll be pregnant. That's part of it. The other part is I'm not sure how I feel about taking fertility drugs. I've mentioned before that my OBGYN offered to prescribe me Clomid, but she doesn't really think I need it and I'm worried about it messing up my cycles or inducing ovarian cysts. I'm definitely getting closer to the point where I'm probably going to end up taking it anyway. I just have this feeling that it might put us in a worse position than we're already in, you know? But then again, it might work and that would be that. Maybe I can make it to the end of this year without resorting to Clomid; we'll see. I'd much rather my body would just do this naturally, and I do ovulate on my own - maybe I'd have better ovulation on Clomid, though. Decisions, decisions. There's also the fact that if I try Clomid and it's unsuccessful, I'm not sure there's much else we can really try. We know we couldn't do IVF if that was an option, and IUI probably isn't an option because my hubby has wonderful swimmers. No problems on his end. Maybe having Clomid as an option in the future makes me feel better, because we haven't exhausted our limited options yet. I'm trying to psychoanalyze myself here, how ridiculous is that?!

My hubby got home from his business trip on Friday, so things are back to normal here (whatever normal is!). We still have 3 foster pugs. Our new one has a vet appointment this afternoon because he has what looks to be an umbilical hernia. I really hope he won't need surgery, but I won't be surprised if he does. He's very sweet and I'm sure he'll find a great home relatively quickly. We've had our bonded pair of fosters for exactly 5 months now, and we'll have them until they're adopted (whenever that may be). Our new foster will probably be adopted within 6-8 weeks I think, though you never can tell!

Our previous foster pugs

Foster #1: Cheko (5 years, rescued from a shelter)

Cheko

Foster #2: Max (2 years, surrendered by owner)

Max

Foster #3: Tien Ping (6 years, surrendered by owner)

Tien Ping (we called him Ping Pug)

Foster #4: Hudson (4 years, found as a stray)

Hudson after his surgeries

Hudson when he was recovered :)

I loved all of these pugs so much, but Max was the hardest for me to let go. I formed such a bond with him, but I know he got a wonderful home with lovely people and that's what matters.

Cheko is now Mayhem (it's meant to be ironic, he's quiet and well-behaved!). Max is still Max! Tien Ping is now Ollie, and Hudson is now Wally.

I'm so happy we're able to foster and make a difference in the lives of these dogs. It's incredibly rewarding (and occasionally heartbreaking).

A romantic getaway? Yes please!

This morning I was excited to use my ovulation microscope, thinking that it would show full ferning. Wrong! Not one single fern. I tried 3 separate times, thinking that maybe I messed up with the saliva sample (one time I managed to get air bubbles in the sample), but nope. No ferns. I wonder if my body geared up to ovulate and then didn't. I don't know if that's possible with the saliva testing but I know it's possible with urine ovulation predictors, so I guess it probably is with this too. Anyway, today is CD14 so it's not like I was really expecting to ovulate yet anyway. I'm not putting all my faith into the microscope, because I'm not sure yet if it's going to be accurate for me. I find it odd that there was no ferning at all but my CM has become very watery - I'm going to assume I'm fertile now and we'll be sure to DTD regularly until ovulation has been confirmed. I hope the microscope will be accurate but I'd hate to rely solely on that, only to miss our window of opportunity!

My hubby surprised me yesterday by saying he wants us to go away for a few days. It'd be a 'stay-cation', we wouldn't go far. He has a couple of days off work at the end of June so we could make the most of that and have 3 nights away in a nice resort. I've been looking today and there are some good deals available, so hopefully we'll make it happen. It's probably exactly what we both need, a little break just the two of us. We'd have to board the dogs of course (between $60 and $85 per day for our two) and our foster pugs would need to go to someone else for the time we're away. I've emailed the ladies in charge of the rescue and they said it's not a problem. Yay! I guess we can go ahead and book something then! Now I just need to find the resort we want to stay at...

Somewhere around 3 dpo...

According to my chart, I'm 3 dpo today. The cross-hairs are dotted, though - I still have fertile CM so it's not sure. Right now it says I ovulated CD21, but I was thinking it happened CD22 so I guess we'll see in another day or two if the interpretation changes.


I've been feeling quite defeated with the whole TTC thing recently. For some reason it really hit me hard when we weren't successful with my last cycle. I don't know why that was harder than previous times, but it was. I haven't given up (clearly!) but I don't think I'm expecting anything at all now. I think if I ever do get my BFP I'll be completely shocked, LOL.

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Our last (4th) foster pug, Hudson, was adopted on Saturday 3/24. We'd had him 5 and a half weeks - that seems to be about average for all the fosters we've had before! He got a wonderful home with lovely people, and that's all I ever want for them all.

Sunday was the big pug rescue fundraiser, and it was crazy busy! All our former foster pugs, save for Hudson, were there! It was so nice to see them all; Cheko (still really timid, freaked out by all the people etc, but looking great otherwise!), Max (the one who stole my heart - also looking great!) and Tien Ping (fabulous as ever!). Cheko's name now is Mayhem (it's ironic!), Max is still Max (or Maxwell!) and Tien Ping is now Ollie. When my hubby told me Max was there (I was in the adoption room), my heart sank. He's the one who broke my heart, I so wanted to keep him. Gosh, even just writing that made me cry! I was happy to see him, of course, but I'm so glad I didn't break down (I thought I might). The people who adopted him are so nice, though, and I'm so happy he's got a great life now with people who adore him. It's a single dad with 3 kids, 10 through 16, and they're lovely. They won a basket of awesome pug cookies in the raffle, and they came and gave me one! I was so touched, it was really sweet of them :)


We already had our next fosters when Hudson went to his next home. Yep, I said fosters, plural! Thursday (3/22) an email plea went out for someone to take these two older pugs in, because their last foster home fell through. They've been with pug rescue for 2 months already, and we've seen them at some of the events. Well, I managed to persuade my hubby to agree to taking them in. At that point we still had Hudson, so we had 5 dogs here which was a shock to the system! These 2 are so sweet and easy-going, thank goodness. They're a bonded pair who have been together for 6 years, so they'll have to be adopted together. Milo is coming up 9 years old and Lilly is coming up 7 years old. Milo is a pug mix, possibly pug-basset hound or pug-beagle (puggle) - he has short legs, big feet and a long body (and long-ish snout!). Lilly is full pug. They're both adorable, we love them! Originally we were only fostering until the big fundraiser, but since they fit in so well here I asked if we could foster until they're adopted. Of course that wasn't a problem - we're inundated with pugs needing foster homes right now, and it's harder to place a pair than one dog on its own. Sadly that's the case for getting them adopted, too: it's likely they'll be with us a while. Milo currently has an anal gland infection so he's on antibiotics for that, and he badly needs a dental so he'll get that done in April when his infection has cleared up. He needs a few teeth pulling at least - they're really bad. I bet he'll feel great afterward, when he doesn't have any pain anymore (he doesn't appear to be in any pain now, but I bet he is with those wobbly bad teeth).

Lilly & Milo are just the cutest couple, though! They were given up by their owner because she was dating a guy who "didn't like them", so she married him anyway and had to surrender the dogs. Nice, huh? At least she did the right thing for them, and didn't just turn them out on the street. I don't know how anybody could not like these two, though!

Here they are at the adoption event we had on St. Patrick's Day, wearing festive bandanas I made for all the pugs (Lilly on the left, Milo on the right).


I hope they get adopted soon, but we're prepared that they might be with us a long time. Sometimes it can be really hard to place a bonded pair, because most people just want to adopt one dog. Plus they're a little older, and that sometimes works against them too. Also, Milo not being "pure pug" might go against them. However, the adoption fee for the pair is what it would normally cost just for Lilly, so hopefully someone will come forward to adopt them. I have to say, Milo is a real sweetie and it breaks my heart when people are super interested in Lilly, only to lose interest when they find out that she's bonded with Milo. He's a lovely boy: I hope someone will see that and give them both a great home!

5dpo :)

I didn't get my BFP with my last cycle, but it's all good. I'm currently 5dpo, and I ovulated CD19! That's the earliest it's ever happened for me since we started TTC. I'm so happy that my ovulation day is heading in the right direction. Last month it happened CD21 which I was also pleased about (my earliest before that was CD22). CD19 is awesome for me!

Here's my chart:


It looks good so far, but it's too early to make any predictions of course. At this point I'm just happy that I ovulated earlier than usual!

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Our last foster pug was adopted a couple of weeks ago, he went to his new home on Valentine's Day. He has 2 moms now who both love him to bits! I'm so happy for the little guy. His new name is Ollie, much easier than Tien Ping! LOL. He was the first one I wasn't really worried about when he left us; he's so easy-going and when he came to us from his original owner, he was absolutely fine. I knew he'd be fine leaving us, and not upset or anything.

The day after he left, I went to pick up our new foster pug (Hudson). He'd just had surgery that day: He was neutered, but that wasn't straightforward because he had an undescended testicle so they had to open his abdomen up. They also widened his nostrils because he was having trouble breathing. Anyway, he seemed OK (groggy from the anesthetic of course). I sat with him the next couple of days while he rested. My hubby was away in Wisconsin on a business trip, so it was just me and the pugs. Anyway, on the Saturday evening, about 10 minutes after the vet closed (typical!) his abdominal incision started oozing orange stuff. Not good. I called the advice line for our local vet and they said it sounded like an infection (which we assumed it was) and to keep it as clean as possible and take him to the vet the next day. Luckily, the vet he'd had surgery at is open 7 days a week so that wasn't a problem. Hudson was so good, he let me clean him up as often as I needed to (frequently) - he would just lay there and let me do what I had to do. The next day it was even worse, and we got him to the vet at lunchtime (first available appointment). Initially the vet thought it was an infection which would be treatable by antibiotics at home, but she went and examined him again just to be sure and came back to tell us he needed another surgery. She said it was worse than she'd realized at first and that he had a really bad infection and an open area, so he had to be opened up again, have an abdominal wash-out and be re-closed. OMG! So we left him at the vet and came home, which just about killed me. He's not even our dog and we'd only had him 4 days at that point, but I cried my eyes out that afternoon. I was so scared for him; the whole thing was pretty traumatic.

Well, when they did the surgery they found out that he'd actually had a really bad reaction to his sutures and that had caused the wound to break down. They had to cut away the bad tissue (the vet said it was hard because his tissue was 3 times thicker than it should have been, due to the reaction) and wash his abdomen out, then re-suture the incision. The fact it was a suture reaction was actually a good thing, it was better news than a massive infection anyway. So we collected him the day after and he seemed great. The incision looked so much better and he was a lot perkier. We were given antibiotics for him but the vet said his culture results wouldn't be back for 3-4 days so he may need his antibiotics switching when they came back. We took him home and he was so happy to be back! Unfortunately the next day, he started vomiting (it was almost projectile!) and hubby called the vet; they said to bring him back in. They gave him subcutaneous fluids because he was a little dehydrated (even though he'd been drinking), and they gave him shots of his anti-inflammatory, antibiotic and an anti-nausea med. That was good - we didn't have to worry about giving him his meds for the rest of the day. He had to be fed a bland diet in small amounts every 2-3 hours (scrambled egg and rice). I did that for the rest of that day and the following morning, and then his incision started to bleed again. OMG!!!! My heart sank; what was wrong now? We got him an appointment at the vet (again) and I contacted one of the people in charge of pug rescue, who said that she would speak to the vet and ask if Hudson could stay there for a night or two. When we took him in, the vet told us he had 2 infections going on (the culture results had just come back), and the antibiotics he was on were only tackling one of those infections. That kind of explained things! By the time of his appointment, he wasn't actively bleeding. They took him back to the treatment area and started him on his new antibiotics. They called us at 7pm and said they'd cleaned him all up and would see how his incision was in the morning. They called us the next morning and told us it was fine, no bleeding or anything overnight. They also found out he had a 3rd bug in there, but luckily the antibiotics he was on was good for all 3. We arranged to collect him that afternoon, and he's been doing great since! One of his nose sutures came out on Saturday, but that's OK, it's healed nicely (that was 11 days post-surgery and the nose sutures are supposed to come out on their own). His other one is still in, but I'm sure it won't be long before it comes out too.

He still has to wear his e-collar because otherwise he tries to get to his sutures, but he's doing so well. It's obvious he feels a million times better. He's resting in his crate the majority of the time, because I really don't want him to have any more complications and he tries to jump and run when he's out of the crate. Plus, our pugs try to play with him (he so wants to play!) and I'm scared of his sutures being pulled out or something. I'm going to take him for his first short walk today, just down to our local small pet store (like a 10 minute round-trip). He's a skinny little guy, he was found wandering stray with 2 other pugs (a boy and a girl). The girl was pregnant and had a hole in her uterus, so her spay was complicated. Just as well she came to pug rescue when she did, because she probably would've died if the pregnancy had progressed. She was adopted on Saturday :-) The trio weren't bonded, they're all fine on their own. Just as well, because it's hard enough to find a home for a pair, never mind for 3. Hudson is the cutest little guy and I just know he's going to be really popular when he's up for adoption. There's an event this Saturday but I don't know if he can go to it. Hopefully he can, his sutures should be out by then. I haven't been able to write his bio yet because I can't really tell anyone much about him - whether he's potty-trained, leash-trained, how he interacts with other dogs, etc. It'll have to wait until he's able to be free of his e-collar, LOL.

Here's the lovely Hudson:

Feeling better

My LP ended up being the usual 13 days, so I started off the new year the way I really didn't want to, with my period. Oh well. That makes today CD11 and I'm not expecting to ovulate for at least another 10 days - but sooner than that would be nice! I've long accepted that I'm not pregnant, although it was incredibly disappointing at the time because all the signs looked good. It's just one of those things, I guess. Better luck next time :-)

Life here is back to normal. Our foster pug, Max, was adopted on Friday. I had a really hard time letting him go, I really bonded with him. It just about broke my heart when we left his new home, I cried all the way home and still get teary-eyed when I think about him. I hope his new home works out for him, though. I want him to be happy. While he was with us, he lost about 4 pounds I think - he weighed 35 pounds when he came to us, and around 31 when he was adopted. Still very heavy, but it's a massive improvement. He is a big pug, tall and broad - it's not all fat!

We went to collect our new foster, Tien Ping, a few hours after Max left us. He's 6 and such a cutie! We collected him from his original owner, who said she didn't have enough time for him anymore and he'd been living mostly outdoors. Poor little guy. He's thrilled to be at our house, he hasn't been sad at all. Within an hour of getting here, he was playing with our pug girls. I think he's just so happy to be indoors and part of the family. I'm sure he'll be adopted quickly, he's just lovely.

My dad left last Tuesday, which honestly was a huge relief. Eleven days of not very much to say or do, plus him yelling at me in the street because I dared to stand up for myself re: my bitch of a MIL, and I was completely done. I was actually done after 5 days, when we had that argument.

My relationship with my dad isn't the greatest, and since I moved to the US it's deteriorated somewhat. When I lived in the UK, he would piss me off on a pretty regular basis, but the way he's acted since I moved has been worse. Before I moved, he actually asked me to change our wedding date because he hadn't booked the time off work when we'd given him the date and couldn't get the vacation time when he actually attempted to. We flat out refused - who really expects someone to change their wedding date for them? Especially when it's virtually paid for as well. Come on! Then there was the whole BS while he was visiting last time, which was a shitty 10 days because of his behavior. Then he never bothered to contact me, which was annoying. I think what was worse was his "I miss you so much" crap that he'd come out with after a whole month of no contact (because I'd stopped making the effort since he couldn't bring himself to pick up the damn phone himself). Actions speak louder than words!

The way he acted since he booked his trip, 3 months before he arrived, was terrible. Virtually every time I spoke to him (on Skype) he'd do his very best to piss me off. His behavior, even by email, was horrible. His shitty attitude and insults got old very quickly, and I shot him down every time he came out with his crap, but it didn't stop him from doing it again. I realize now that I should have given him an ultimatum - treat me with some respect or you will not stay in our house. I totally should have done that; I wish I had. Instead I seemingly allowed him to get away with his behavior, because although I voiced my displeasure over his demands and the insults he would "jokingly" deliver (not joking really though, I'm sure) I never gave him any real consequences for what he was doing. I should have hung up on him, or told him he's not staying with us with that attitude. Better yet, I should have told him I wasn't going to talk to him for 4 weeks (we usually talk on Skype once a week) and that if, after that, his behavior hadn't improved, he could cancel his vacation.

There was a consequence for his behavior while he was here, though - as a result of the way he acted prior to his visit, and while here, we barely made any effort to make sure he had a nice vacation. When I say that, I mean we didn't take him on loads of sightseeing trips and we didn't bend over backward for him. We didn't take him out for dinner or anything like that. The effort we made was in providing a comfortable room and feeding him for 11 days. I let him use my laptop virtually every day to Skype with his wife, I rented a couple of DVDs for him to watch and downloaded movies that we have available through Dish (only free ones, not pay per view!). I even did his damn laundry for him, twice. More fool me. It took him 2 days to say thanks. It sure as hell didn't take him that long to see what I'd foolishly done for him - I'd folded his jeans, boxers and sweaters, hung his shirts up (I didn't iron them, screw that) and paired his socks up - they were all on the bed in neat piles. So yeah, it pissed me off that he couldn't even thank me in a timely manner for doing all of that. He's the one who made the conscious decision to bring carry-on only, when he could have (and should have) brought a suitcase and plenty of clothes. He's also the one who told me I was "too lazy" and should "want" to do his laundry all the time while he was visiting because I hadn't seen him in a year. Yeah... Why the hell did I allow his rude self to stay here?!?!

There must be something wrong with me because despite the shitty way he treats me, I still want to please him. I hate that, it really needs to change.

The big argument we had was my breaking point, I actually wanted to kick him out after that. My FIL was coming over for dinner that night, without MIL since we're still not speaking to her after she tried to bully us into her 'religion' (cult!) in September. Before my dad came here, he asked me a couple of times if he would be seeing my in-laws. He knows the situation with MIL - and I told him he'd most likely see FIL and BIL but not MIL. A few days after he got here, he brought it up again with me and my hubby - he said he felt 'awkward' not going to see MIL and that she would think he was being rude by not visiting her. We both agreed that given the situation, there was no way that he could go and see her without causing us more problems. Remember, he refused to hire a car. We weren't about to drive him over there, or even call to arrange anything for him - we're not speaking to the woman! What's so difficult to understand about that?! We figured that was the end of it, but hubby and I discussed it again privately and still both agreed that it wasn't going to work having my dad go visit her.

Two days later I was walking the dogs with my dad and I mentioned that FIL would be arriving at 5.30. Well, he took that opportunity to lay into me because it's so 'awkward' for him not seeing MIL. I reminded him that we'd discussed it already and it wasn't up for discussion. He started shouting at me in the street. I had to tell him not to shout at me. Within a couple of minutes he was shouting again and I had to tell him to stop for the second time. His favorite thing to say to me, whenever I disagree with him, is that I'm "being ridiculous", so of course that was his response this time too. I told him that just because he was here, it didn't mean anything had changed with the MIL situation - we would see her when we were ready to, not because he was pushing for it. He kept going on about what my MIL might think of him if he didn't see her, so my response was "Don't you care that you're upsetting me and my hubby by bringing this up repeatedly? It's an awkward situation to begin with!". He got all defensive, saying "Fine, I won't see her!". I told him he could walk himself over there right now - of course he didn't. He would never bother to initiate a meeting with her himself, he fully expected us to just say "Oh, well if you feel awkward about the situation, we can't possibly allow that! Let me pick up the phone and call her right now, we're being so silly to not want to see someone who's been a total bitch to us aren't we?!"

For the record, he's only met MIL twice, a year ago, for about 2-3 hours each time. They haven't been in touch since. It's not like they're best friends or anything! I doubt she'd even give a crap if he didn't visit her! And since she's fully aware of the situation, she most likely wasn't expecting to see him anyway. Don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting people to take our side, but they should at least respect our position and shut up about it; especially if they're staying in our house and eating our food!

He also came out with this gem: "If she died tomorrow, you'd be sorry". I replied, "So just because anybody can die at anytime, that means we have to let everyone treat us like shit? I don't think so!"

I also asked (politely) that he not bring up the subject to FIL, and he flew off the handle again, saying he can say whatever he wants. Um, as a guest in our house, I really think you should be doing your best not to piss us off even more than you have already. Seriously. What kind of houseguest would even argue about this in the first place?

I challenged him to bring the whole thing up with my hubby again - and he didn't have anything to say to that. I told him he was undermining me/us by continuing to bring this up, and he said "I've only brought it up twice!" - "Twice too many," I replied. I hate the way he waits until he gets me on my own and then treats me like crap. He wouldn't dare yell at me with my hubby in the house, so he waited until we were walking the dogs. What a fucking coward, seriously! He had to ambush me when I was alone.

Five minutes after we got back to the house, and I'd told my hubby everything, my dad was asking "What's wrong?" - as if he didn't know. Oh, I guess I'm supposed to just forget all that BS! Sorry, not going to happen. I said "Nothing," in such a way that it was very obvious that I was pissed off with him. I know that's kind of passive aggressive, but if I'd said "Gee, I don't know, maybe I don't appreciate being yelled at in the street like a naughty child!" he'd have said I was "being ridiculous" and WW3 would have ensued. Maybe I should have said that, and then kicked him out when he spouted more crap. My hubby looked up hotels right after I told him what went down on the walk, too. Anyway I barely spoke to him for the rest of the day, which was awkward because I acted completely normal with FIL and my hubby but pretty much ignored my dad. I was just seething at him - what an asshole.

So after that, I spent the rest of his trip counting down the days until he was leaving. He kept treating me like some kind of maid, asking for drinks while I was clearly busy making dinner etc. I had to clean up after him all the time because he has no respect for me whatsoever. It didn't matter that I'd just finished cleaning the kitchen, he'd come and get something to eat and make a huge mess which he wouldn't even attempt to clean up. I'd love to see how he'd react to someone acting that way in his house...

He also kept making comments like "I won't be visiting again for another 3-4 years because I can't afford it" (my thoughts? Good! And, he totally could afford it if he didn't insist on paying so much extra for unnecessary travel upgrades). Another of my favorites was: "The next time I see you will be when you come to England. I'll probably be waiting 20 years" (which he said at least twice). I wish I'd said, "No, we'll be visiting England sooner than 20 years from now, but if you keep acting this way we sure as hell won't be visiting you!" Why is it that you think of the best comebacks after the fact?!

So, I guess since it's Wednesday I'm supposed to be talking with him on Skype in, oh, about 2 hours. Great... I'm very tempted to just not log in, honestly. But then, on the other hand I kind of want to because I'm pretty sure that now he's had a whole week to discuss his vacation with his wife, he'll probably let me know how awful we are for not doing more for him. You know, because he always has this "woe is me" attitude and he never takes responsibility for his actions. No matter what he does, he always ends up turning it around on me to try and make out that I'm the one at fault. His wife will no doubt have been stirring things up, saying that it's awful that he spent all that money and flew over 5000 miles only to have us not bend to his every whim. That's how she is - she loves to stir things, especially when it involves me. She's always had a problem with me, for the last 15 years since they got together; he's just too blind to see it. Anyway, I'm kind of hoping he does say something bad because I will have a good excuse to lay into him if he does. I know that probably sounds bad, but it's the truth. He was such a pain in the ass and that argument just took the piss. I'm done with the way he treats me, honestly.

Pretty sure I ovulated :)

We've had a lot going on lately, with pug fostering and other stuff. My temps have been kinda screwy for most of this cycle (probably partly due to having our latest foster pug sleeping on our bed - he won't settle anywhere else!!), but today my chart decided that I ovulated on Friday (CD21). I thought I had, because I had all the symptoms and I'm usually right when I feel like I'm ovulating, but my temps afterward were a little weird. Anyway, unless my chart changes I'm now 4dpo. I really hope I did ovulate and that my LP will be normal this time. Of course, what I really hope is that we caught the egg and I'll get my BFP, but failing that, if my LP is normal at least that'll be a weight off my mind!

I definitely feel as though I ovulated - I'm really bloated, gassy and quite crampy as I always am post-ovulation. I'm happy with ovulating on CD21, because that's the earliest I've confirmed ovulation. Previously it's been 22 days, 24 days and 28 days - I didn't like the way that was going! CD21 is still quite late and most women would be pissed with that, but I'm glad it's earlier than usual. I really hope that as time goes on my cycles will regulate more, maybe eventually I'll get to the point where I'm ovulating by around CD14. If not, oh well. The earlier the better, though - I definitely feel as though our chances of conceiving are higher if I ovulate earlier, whether that's true or not I don't know! I do know though that having shorter cycles will be a good thing - if they could be 30 days that'd be awesome, rather than the 35+ day cycles I've been having!

Some good news!

Nothing related to TTC, but our foster pug was adopted today! We took him to a huge adoption event that pug rescue were at, and within an hour of the event starting he'd been adopted. The lady who adopted him had come to see him specifically; she'd seen his photo and information on the pug rescue website, and fallen in love with him. She just loves him to pieces, I'm satisfied that he's found a wonderful home! It was kind of hard to leave him with her though, because he was trying to come with us and it kinda broke my heart a little. I know he was confused and probably felt as though we were abandoning him, that's what hurt me the most. That, and the fact that he's such a sweet boy and I'll miss him. We had him for exactly a month - 11/3 through 12/3. I know that's not all that long in the grand scheme of things, but we took really good care of him and treated him as though he was our own dog (of course - I couldn't imagine doing it any other way!). I tried not to get too attached, but it's kind of inevitable that you do get somewhat attached. I know his new mom will take great care of him, but at the same time it does hurt. I know he'll be OK but I just wish he could know 3 things: that we love him, we weren't abandoning him and he didn't do anything wrong, you know? I know it's really confusing for him. I'm happy that he's been adopted though, I'm over the moon for him. He'll be OK I'm sure.

Of course, when he got adopted, there was already another one waiting for a foster home. Scratch that, there are at least 4 or 5 waiting for foster homes! Yikes. So we have another foster boy now, his name is Max and he's 2 years old. He weighs a whopping 35/36 pounds, though, so we need to help him lose weight. His previous owner was free-feeding him, which isn't a good idea with a pug (or most dogs, really). He really needs to lose at least 6 pounds, probably more like 8-10 pounds. It'll be a long process (probably way longer than we'll have him for) but he'll feel so much better when he loses the weight. He's such a cutie, I can't get over how funny his expressions are! His tongue is too long for his head so it hangs out most of the time, and he just looks really funny - it's too cute! Here he is:


I think he'll get adopted really quickly - he's such a sweet, cute boy and aside from his weight, he has no issues. He's a great boy all round. I actually kind of want to adopt him myself! I know we can't, but I totally would if we could. Of course that would mean no more fostering, so it's not the best option. Pug rescue need as many foster families as possible, they're constantly inundated with pugs! This week alone I think there have been 4 or 5 come in, it's crazy. At the event today one other pug (a beautiful, sweet, one-eyed girl) was adopted and there are a couple of pending adoptions as well. It's so rewarding to foster, even more rewarding than I'd imagined. To know you played a part in helping a dog is priceless, even if it does hurt when they leave again.