Got my results today...

I had my follow-up appointment with my gynecologist today. All of my test results came back great! Nothing is wrong at all, so there's no reason why I'm not getting pregnant. I was kind of surprised that my test results were so good - I really thought something would be an issue! My glucose test came back perfectly normal, as did all my hormone tests. I didn't realize they tested for cholesterol and all of that - all of those came back perfectly normal too. I thought I might be diagnosed with mild PCOS or something, but no.

Anyway, my gynecologist said that if I wanted to take Clomid she would prescribe it for me. I don't see the point in taking it when I ovulate regularly on my own - if it ain't broke, don't fix it. She agreed, but said if I get really frustrated and change my mind she'd prescribe it for 3 months. She recommended continuing to try until the end of the year and then seeing her again if nothing happens by then. She seemed hopeful that we could probably conceive in that time, so fingers crossed. She did give me a card for a reproductive endocrinologist, so I can call them and schedule an appointment with them if I want to. I'm going to hold off for a while, because I really want to see if we can just do this on our own.

I asked about getting a progesterone test done and she gave me an order for it. She said to come in on CD23 for it (hopefully I'll have ovulated by then). She said that my husband's semen analysis results look great, but that she'll ask one of her colleagues who specializes in them to take a look at his results just to be 100% sure. His count, motility and morphology were all higher than average, so she's happy with it. It'll be nice to get an 'expert' opinion though, I guess.

So that's it: there's no reason why we shouldn't be conceiving. I am happy that everything came back normal, of course, but I'm a little confused because I feel as though we should have conceived by now if everything's normal! I guess we'll just keep trying and see what happens. I'm "only" 28 so we do have time (theoretically) to pursue other options later on if we need to.

Last night I had the weirdest dream. My husband texted me to tell me I was pregnant and apparently he'd done the test with my urine sample. Weird! Then I came home and got mad at him because he'd left the pregnancy tests in the pee container and they were ruined. I got pissed because he'd used my last First Response Early Result test and we'd have to go buy more! Oh and when he told me I was pregnant, he said we'd need to decide what we were going to do about it! As if it was unplanned or something! [even if it was, he wouldn't want me to terminate anyway - I think I knew I was dreaming while I was dreaming, if you know what I mean. Other crazy pregnancy dreams I've had made me sad when I woke up, because they felt so real and I was so bummed when I woke up and wasn't pregnant. This one, I woke up smirking about how ridiculous the whole dream was!]
Like I said, very weird. 

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This afternoon we went for lunch, then did some shopping. I wanted to get a dress or 2 for our vacation. I ended up with 3 dresses and a cover-up to wear by the pool (I hate wearing a swimsuit so it'll help to hide my wobbly bits when I'm not in the pool, haha!) and then I got 2 pairs of shoes (wedge sandals). I love everything I got, and the best thing is that it was all a bargain. We went to Burlington and I got the 3 dresses and the cover-up for $60. My shoes were $35 in total (for 2 pairs) from another store. Awesome! I usually hate shopping for dresses, but the 3 I got are great . They don't cling to the wrong places; they're actually flattering and pretty! I'm so excited about them because usually when I'm clothes shopping I have a hard time finding stuff I like that actually looks good on me. I'm not super obese or anything, but I'm no supermodel either. I'm 5ft 8 and pretty well proportioned, but I hate my belly and certain styles of dresses accentuate the bits I want to hide! This is why I live in shorts and tank tops most of the year (jeans and T-shirts in the winter, LOL). It's unusual for me to find exactly what I'm looking for and have it fit well and look great. When I do find what I want and it looks good, I'm thrilled! :-)

Still partial ferning (CD13)

Today my ovulation microscope was still showing partial ferning, so hopefully in the next day or two it might become full ferning!

I'm really trying not to stress about the results of our testing, but at the moment it's proving to be difficult! I know that it's pointless to stress, because it won't change anything (and there's a chance everything will be fine!) but knowing it and feeling it are two different things I guess. I don't think we'll get any of my hubby's results for a week or so, and the blood tests I had were supposed to take a couple of weeks to come back. I think because I know they have his semen sample at the lab, I'm anxious to know if it's good or not!

This is a weird place to be in. I don't want anything to be wrong with either of us, but at the same time I'd like to know why I haven't gotten pregnant yet. If there is something wrong, I hope it's something that's easy to fix. I don't know what my gynecologist will suggest if all our results come back fine - will she send us off to try for longer, or refer us to a specialist? I didn't ask that question - I guess it didn't occur to me at the time. If everything's fine, maybe we'll conceive naturally given more time.

All this speculating is a waste of time, I know that. Isn't it ironic that I'm barely even thinking about the results from my pap smear, and only really bothered about the fertility stuff? I don't anticipate getting an abnormal result from my pap smear, but I'm scared as hell that I could be infertile. Damn, that makes my priorities seem completely messed up!

My appointment today

I had my first appointment with the gynecologist today. Aside from having to wait in the exam room for about an hour, it went very well. She's really nice and I felt comfortable with her. She was really impressed that I've been charting my cycles and she also was impressed that my hubby is getting his testing done too (apparently she had another patient this morning whose other half refused to get a semen analysis done - thank goodness my hubby isn't like that!).

My pap smear went fine and she ordered blood work which I had done right after my appointment. I think the tests were for thyroid and estrogen levels. We discussed the B-complex I take and she's happy for me to continue with that, along with my prenatal vitamins of course. She's ordered a HSG for me too which I'm happy about. I'll get that done early in my next cycle - apparently I can just call their office and they'll get me in the next day or something. I also need glucose testing which I'll get on the same day as my HSG. I'll have to fast before that one and I'll be there for around 2 hours for the glucose testing - it doesn't sound like much fun! I guess I'll take a book or something with me... :)

I wonder if the glucose testing is part of the normal work-up or if she suspects something is wrong. Either way, I'll go get it done and see what the outcome is. There's no point worrying about it, really. It won't be for at least 3 weeks - I don't expect to ovulate before CD17, then my LP should be 13 days, then I'll have my period which is usually around 4-5 days long - and then I'll get the HSG and glucose testing done. We're probably looking at the middle of June, so I can put it out of my mind for now.

My hubby was going to get all of his testing done today as well, but that didn't work out. He fasted from last night and went to get his blood drawn while I was waiting to go in for my appointment, and he was going to take his semen sample in later on (he didn't have time to obtain one this morning because of work - even though today is supposed to be one of his vacation days). Well, it turns out he has to take his sample in at the same time as he gets his bloods done, otherwise he has to see his doctor again for another referral. Oh, and we have to go to a different lab on the other side of the city, too. Ugh!! I wish they would've said that last week, how on earth are people supposed to know these things when nobody tells you anything?! OK, so we're hoping that he'll be able to get his stuff done tomorrow morning, but it's kind of doubtful because yet more stuff has gone wrong at work and even though he allegedly has today and tomorrow off, it's highly unlikely he's actually getting any time off. It sucks!

At least if he can get his testing done before I have my HSG, then hopefully all of our results will be available at the same time and the gynecologist can go over them with us. I'll have to wait until I get my next period to schedule the HSG so I'm thinking if tomorrow doesn't work out for my hubby to get his testing done, then if he can get it done after I ovulate we should be good. Fingers crossed, anyway.

Testing starts tomorrow, and other unrelated things!

I deleted my rant about my hubby's job: it looks as though we'll be able to make everything work tomorrow after all. The plan is that when I go to my gynecology appointment he'll get his blood work done, and then later we'll take his sample to the lab for analysis. Fingers crossed it'll work out, anyway!

We went to the gym today and yesterday and did an hour workout each time. We'll take tomorrow off and go again Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. We both feel a lot better now that we're going to the gym regularly.

I got some good news yesterday: my friend and her family are coming to visit next Easter! They'll be in our state for a little over 2 weeks, it'll be awesome! They wanted to come last year and this year but were unable to afford the trip, but now they've booked for next year so that's something great to look forward to. They'll be staying in a hotel, which is a good thing because honestly we'd struggle a bit with 4 house-guests for that length of time. We'd manage but it would be a shock to the system when it's normally just the 2 of us (plus the pugs!). The husband is allergic to dogs and one of the girls is developing allergies to animals too, so it's definitely in their best interests to stay elsewhere. Plus, they'll probably have a better vacation because they'll be able to do what they want when they want. There are 3 pools at their hotel, too - I'm sure they'll enjoy those!
So we have my mom and step-dad coming to visit (staying with us) from 2/22 through 3/8 next year, then my friends coming from 3/29 through 4/14. Exciting stuff! It's good to have things like that to look forward to.

I ordered some stuff from Amazon on Friday - one of those ovulation detector saliva microscopes, some more HPTs and a book. I was going to order regular OPKs but I figured I'd give the microscope a go, because it's something you can use repeatedly as many times as you want. It was about $28, which I thought was pretty good considering that I could spend $55 on OPKs monthly! This is a one-off purchase so it should be much better value for money. It'll be interesting to see how it is, anyway. It should be arriving around Tuesday, so hopefully it won't be delayed and I'll be able to use it for this cycle. Today is CD10 so I doubt I'm close to ovulating yet; it'll probably be another week at least.

Overall I feel a lot better now than I did last week. I don't know what changed, but I definitely feel more positive. I think it's partly due to the fact that we're being proactive, starting with testing etc. I don't feel worried about my hubby's SA results or his blood work results, because I'm almost certain everything's fine with him. Of course I could be wrong, and I think I'm as prepared as I can be that there could be a problem, but I'm not worrying about it yet. It'll likely be a week before we get his results, so maybe I'll feel apprehensive by that time!

I'm fairly calm about my gynecology appointment too. I'm trying to think positive thoughts - I really don't like doctor appointments but it's something I need to do. I tend to get really anxious when I have appointments (I have no idea why, maybe it's white coat syndrome!). I'm sure it'll be fine though. I hope I'll like the gynecologist and that I'll be able to ask her lots of questions and get good answers. That's all I really want - for her to listen to me and take my concerns seriously. Oh, and to be gentle! LOL.

Hubby's appointment & more

My hubby's appointment today went well. The doctor didn't fob us off, he was very nice and gave my hubby a referral for a semen analysis and some bloodwork (which, if the SA comes back fine, will be irrelevant in terms of TTC but still useful to know about). He's getting his thyroid and testosterone tested, along with cholesterol.

We went to the lab (it's in the same building as the doctor) and they gave us a cup for the semen sample. It's good that he can "obtain the sample" at home, I imagine it'd be quite stressful having to do it at the lab with people waiting on you.

While we were talking with the doctor I asked if he could recommend a gynecologist and it turns out there's one in the same building who he recommended. I went and registered with them and I have an appointment for next Monday. I'll get a pap smear and discuss TTC with them. The doctor we spoke with at my hubby's appointment didn't seem concerned with the fact that I usually ovulate around CD21, he said as long as I'm ovulating it's all good. I'll see what the gynecologist says when I have my appointment. At least I have everything printed out now, so even though I didn't end up needing to show the doctor my charts today it wasn't a waste of paper printing them. I hope the gynecologist is nice and will listen to me. Maybe she'll be able to see something wrong from my charts, who knows?

I feel better now that we're being proactive, anyway. I have no idea what my hubby's test results will be like, or whether I'll be needing testing also (most likely HSG, ultrasounds, bloodwork) but now that we're starting down the road of testing, I just feel more positive. It's weird because I always hoped we'd never need to do anything like this, but we do and that's that. If one (or both) of us has a problem it's better to address it than just keep blindly TTC. Maybe if there's something wrong it'll be easily fixed. It could be something really simple to treat. Either way, if there's something wrong we want to know about it.

As I said to my hubby, if we find out that we're not going to be able to have kids I'll be devastated, but I think in a way it might be easier to find closure and move on than if they can't find any problems and yet we still can't get pregnant. I mean, obviously I'd hate to have to face being truly infertile, but then we'd stop TTC and find a new direction in life I guess. If you find out you have "unexplained infertility" then when do you stop trying? Do you stop? I know you can just "go with the flow" and not prevent pregnancy, but you'd always be wondering if you might be pregnant, you know? I don't want anything to be wrong with either of us, but at least if they know what the problem is it might be able to be sorted out. Not knowing would be torture, I think. I don't know if what I just wrote makes sense, but hopefully it does.