We went to the fertility clinic this morning so my hubby could do another semen analysis. There were no real issues with his first one, but the fertility clinic will do a more detailed analysis so it's worth having it done again. The poor guy was in that room for like 30 minutes. I thought he wasn't going to be able to do it (the last one was done at home, so I think he had some pressure on him today which is understandable!)
I only went with him because with 2 of us in the car he could use the HOV lane on the freeway, since we had to be there by 8:30 and thought the traffic might be bad. It actually wasn't bad at all; maybe a lot of people took the day off to make it an even longer weekend! Typical, haha.
Anyway, that's done now so hopefully we might get the results by the end of next week. I'm not sure if the holiday weekend will affect processing - probably. So maybe the week after. Either way, we're expecting decent results based on his first SA, so we're not really concerned about it.
My chart is acting up and randomly changing my ovulation day. This morning it decided I ovulated on CD18 (3 days ago) but I'm sure that's wrong, based on CM etc. Well, when I changed the detector setting to "FAM" it reverted to CD14. I have no idea anymore! All I know for sure is that I have ovulated at some point, LOL.
I ordered some OPKs from Amazon today. Since I'll be taking Clomid next cycle, I want to be as sure as possible when I'm going to ovulate. I'm sure we'd be OK without the OPKs, but I feel like I should use them to maximize our chances since I'll be taking drugs!
It's weird, after our appointment on Wednesday I felt great - I was confident that I'd be pregnant soon. Today, I feel differently for some reason. I don't even know why, it's weird. I think I'm worried that Clomid won't be the answer, and then our options will be quickly running out. I know I should think positively, but sometimes I find that hard to do! I'm still holding out some hope that maybe we'll be lucky this cycle - I really hope we are, so I don't have to take Clomid at all - but based on all my previous cycles I can't be too optimistic this time around. I'm somewhere between 3 and 7 dpo (I think I'm closer to 7 dpo), so I know it's going to be another week at least before we know for sure whether this cycle has been a success. Fingers crossed!!!
In other news, someone is interested in adopting our latest foster pug, Cimon! I really hope it works out for him! I should know more on Sunday, when we're doing their home visit for them. :-)
Showing posts with label semen analysis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label semen analysis. Show all posts
Friday, August 31, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
First Appointment with the RE
We just got back from our appointment with the RE - and I'm happy to say it went really well! I was so freaking nervous before the appointment, but the fertility clinic staff are all so lovely and the doctor is really nice too. I asked a ton of questions of course, and he was really helpful. After talking for a while he did a transvaginal ultrasound, and everything looked great. No cysts on my ovaries and my uterus looks good too. He also took some cultures from my cervix. He described my cycles as "irregularly regular" - meaning that I ovulate regularly but my cycle length varies quite a lot, which is true (27-37 days, quite a variation). He said he wants me to try Clomid for 3 cycles, starting next cycle (if I'm not pregnant this cycle). After my first Clomid cycle he'll do another ultrasound to make sure I don't have any cysts, then I can take the Clomid again and so on. I think we might end up doing timed intercourse if the first Clomid cycle doesn't work, although he did say that we're having plenty of sex - our issue's not a lack of trying!
If I'm not pregnant this cycle I have to go in next CD2 or CD3 for bloodwork - they'll check my ovarian reserve and egg quality. He said my gynecologist was very thorough with the testing she did back in May/June, so that's good. He's not expecting any issues with my CD2/3 bloodwork, and he said it's looking like we fall into the unexplained infertility category. We discussed my husband's semen analysis, which he said looked fine but it wouldn't hurt to have another one done at the fertility clinic. That's scheduled for Friday morning, so that's good. Our insurance will cover it so that's not a concern, and it'll be interesting to see if anything's changed in the last few months. The last one was done at home and then rushed to the lab 40 minutes away (the lab told us as long as it was there within an hour it'd be OK). Well, the fertility clinic staff said he could get the sample at home as long as he gets it to the clinic within 30 minutes, which is do-able, but he's just going to do it at the clinic anyway. It's better to get it to them as "fresh" as possible, I think.
If Clomid doesn't work, or if they find any issues with the new SA, then we might end up doing IUI. It looks as though that would cost around $1000 per cycle, including ultrasounds, so that's not too bad really. We could do that - it's IVF we couldn't afford to do. The doctor is very optimistic that the Clomid will work, though, so hopefully we won't end up having to do IUIs at all. His confidence is rubbing off on me: I feel like maybe I will actually be pregnant soon.
We talked a little about laparoscopy, and he said that it might be something we could look into at a later date. He gave me information about it, and showed me some surgery images on the computer. I hope I won't need to have a laparoscopy, but if I do then I will of course.
I asked him about charting BBT, and he said he's happy for his patients to do it if they want to. He said it's not good for predicting ovulation, which I know of course, but it doesn't do any harm to use it to confirm ovulation. I'll probably keep it up for a while then I guess, although I'm not sure if Clomid messes with your temperatures... I guess I'll find out!
I feel a lot better now that we've been to our first appointment - I was so tense and stressed this morning, even though I really tried to calm myself down. I don't know why I get that way, but I do - maybe I have white coat syndrome! Now that we've been once, I think I'll be fine going again. I was just really worried that the doctor would be condescending, rude or dismissive. He was really friendly and nice, but he obviously knows his stuff too. That's exactly what I wanted - a doctor who knows what he's doing, but is still human and personable.
I have a massive headache now, I think because of all the adrenaline racing around my body. I wish I didn't get so stressed out about seeing new doctors!
Oh and here's my chart for this cycle - I ovulated on CD14 for the first time ever :)
If I'm not pregnant this cycle I have to go in next CD2 or CD3 for bloodwork - they'll check my ovarian reserve and egg quality. He said my gynecologist was very thorough with the testing she did back in May/June, so that's good. He's not expecting any issues with my CD2/3 bloodwork, and he said it's looking like we fall into the unexplained infertility category. We discussed my husband's semen analysis, which he said looked fine but it wouldn't hurt to have another one done at the fertility clinic. That's scheduled for Friday morning, so that's good. Our insurance will cover it so that's not a concern, and it'll be interesting to see if anything's changed in the last few months. The last one was done at home and then rushed to the lab 40 minutes away (the lab told us as long as it was there within an hour it'd be OK). Well, the fertility clinic staff said he could get the sample at home as long as he gets it to the clinic within 30 minutes, which is do-able, but he's just going to do it at the clinic anyway. It's better to get it to them as "fresh" as possible, I think.
If Clomid doesn't work, or if they find any issues with the new SA, then we might end up doing IUI. It looks as though that would cost around $1000 per cycle, including ultrasounds, so that's not too bad really. We could do that - it's IVF we couldn't afford to do. The doctor is very optimistic that the Clomid will work, though, so hopefully we won't end up having to do IUIs at all. His confidence is rubbing off on me: I feel like maybe I will actually be pregnant soon.
We talked a little about laparoscopy, and he said that it might be something we could look into at a later date. He gave me information about it, and showed me some surgery images on the computer. I hope I won't need to have a laparoscopy, but if I do then I will of course.
I asked him about charting BBT, and he said he's happy for his patients to do it if they want to. He said it's not good for predicting ovulation, which I know of course, but it doesn't do any harm to use it to confirm ovulation. I'll probably keep it up for a while then I guess, although I'm not sure if Clomid messes with your temperatures... I guess I'll find out!
I feel a lot better now that we've been to our first appointment - I was so tense and stressed this morning, even though I really tried to calm myself down. I don't know why I get that way, but I do - maybe I have white coat syndrome! Now that we've been once, I think I'll be fine going again. I was just really worried that the doctor would be condescending, rude or dismissive. He was really friendly and nice, but he obviously knows his stuff too. That's exactly what I wanted - a doctor who knows what he's doing, but is still human and personable.
I have a massive headache now, I think because of all the adrenaline racing around my body. I wish I didn't get so stressed out about seeing new doctors!
Oh and here's my chart for this cycle - I ovulated on CD14 for the first time ever :)
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
SA results
As far as I can tell, my hubby has above average swimmers! Here are some of the actual values:
All of his blood work came back great too, nothing abnormal there. What a relief! At the same time, it makes me think that my own results will be less than favorable... I mean, with swimmers like that, surely I should have gotten pregnant by now! I'm kinda worried about what they're going to find with my tests, but knowledge is power as they say.
In other news, I think I'm 2 dpo today. My temp stayed in the higher range this morning, so as long as it stays up there tomorrow my chart will confirm it :)
- Volume: 4.0 mL (normal range 2-10 mL)
- Concentration: 107 million per mL (high - normal range 20-100 million)
- Total motile: 287 million (high - normal range 20-100 million)
- Normal morphology: 38% (normal is 30% and above)
- Rapidly progressive: 48%
- Motility: 67% (normal range 50-100%)
- pH: 8.0 (normal range 7.2 to 10)
- Liquefaction time: 60 mins (normal range 0-60 mins)
- Viscosity: High (not sure if this is a problem, as it did liquefy just in the normal range)
All of his blood work came back great too, nothing abnormal there. What a relief! At the same time, it makes me think that my own results will be less than favorable... I mean, with swimmers like that, surely I should have gotten pregnant by now! I'm kinda worried about what they're going to find with my tests, but knowledge is power as they say.
In other news, I think I'm 2 dpo today. My temp stayed in the higher range this morning, so as long as it stays up there tomorrow my chart will confirm it :)
The results are in
My husband got a call from the doctor's office this morning, his results are all back. All his blood tests came back fine, and his semen analysis apparently came back better than average. We're going to collect the results soon, so we'll see what exactly they say. Hopefully he can be ruled out as the problem, anyway!
More later...
More later...
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Still partial ferning (CD13)
Today my ovulation microscope was still showing partial ferning, so hopefully in the next day or two it might become full ferning!
I'm really trying not to stress about the results of our testing, but at the moment it's proving to be difficult! I know that it's pointless to stress, because it won't change anything (and there's a chance everything will be fine!) but knowing it and feeling it are two different things I guess. I don't think we'll get any of my hubby's results for a week or so, and the blood tests I had were supposed to take a couple of weeks to come back. I think because I know they have his semen sample at the lab, I'm anxious to know if it's good or not!
This is a weird place to be in. I don't want anything to be wrong with either of us, but at the same time I'd like to know why I haven't gotten pregnant yet. If there is something wrong, I hope it's something that's easy to fix. I don't know what my gynecologist will suggest if all our results come back fine - will she send us off to try for longer, or refer us to a specialist? I didn't ask that question - I guess it didn't occur to me at the time. If everything's fine, maybe we'll conceive naturally given more time.
All this speculating is a waste of time, I know that. Isn't it ironic that I'm barely even thinking about the results from my pap smear, and only really bothered about the fertility stuff? I don't anticipate getting an abnormal result from my pap smear, but I'm scared as hell that I could be infertile. Damn, that makes my priorities seem completely messed up!
I'm really trying not to stress about the results of our testing, but at the moment it's proving to be difficult! I know that it's pointless to stress, because it won't change anything (and there's a chance everything will be fine!) but knowing it and feeling it are two different things I guess. I don't think we'll get any of my hubby's results for a week or so, and the blood tests I had were supposed to take a couple of weeks to come back. I think because I know they have his semen sample at the lab, I'm anxious to know if it's good or not!
This is a weird place to be in. I don't want anything to be wrong with either of us, but at the same time I'd like to know why I haven't gotten pregnant yet. If there is something wrong, I hope it's something that's easy to fix. I don't know what my gynecologist will suggest if all our results come back fine - will she send us off to try for longer, or refer us to a specialist? I didn't ask that question - I guess it didn't occur to me at the time. If everything's fine, maybe we'll conceive naturally given more time.
All this speculating is a waste of time, I know that. Isn't it ironic that I'm barely even thinking about the results from my pap smear, and only really bothered about the fertility stuff? I don't anticipate getting an abnormal result from my pap smear, but I'm scared as hell that I could be infertile. Damn, that makes my priorities seem completely messed up!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Some drama at the lab!
Hubby fasted from last night, and called the lab this morning to verify the instructions for collecting his semen sample. They said he could either get the sample at home or at the lab - as long as we got it to them within an hour it would be fine. OK. He collected the sample at home and we rushed over to the lab (which is almost 30 miles away). After some old woman almost got us into an accident by cutting us off, we arrived a little over 30 minutes after he'd collected the sample. The guy at the reception desk promptly told us they wouldn't be able to test it because it was too old by that point. What?!?!?! OMG, I just about lost it. Well, I didn't but I really wanted to. I told the guy he'd called before obtaining the sample and was told to get it there within an hour. He said he'd check with someone, anyway. Well, it turns out that everything was fine - the guy at the desk was wrong. Thank goodness! So my hubby got his blood drawn for his tests (testosterone, thyroid levels and cholesterol) and handed over the little plastic container holding his "boys", LOL. His results should be available in around a week, so they'll be back well before I even get my HSG and glucose test done. We both feel better now that we've done everything we can for the time being. We went to IHOP for a late breakfast (brunch, really) because we were both really hungry.
I used my ovulation saliva microscope for the first time this morning - it's so interesting! I got partial ferning, which means I should be ovulating soon. The leaflet says you normally get partial ferning for a couple of days and then full ferning for around 4 days (after that it goes back to partial ferning for a day or 2, I think). I don't have fertile looking CM yet, but I think I will soon. I'm really glad I bought the microscope, it's definitely interesting and hopefully it'll be accurate too. I think it's going to be useful because I ovulate on different cycle days every month and this should give me a heads up so we don't miss my most fertile days. We always seem to time it well anyway, but last month I was surprised to ovulate on CD17 and there's a chance we wouldn't have timed it well because of that. As it happened, we timed it perfectly anyway, but who knows if that would be the case every time? Anyway, for $27.95, it was definitely worth it :)
I used my ovulation saliva microscope for the first time this morning - it's so interesting! I got partial ferning, which means I should be ovulating soon. The leaflet says you normally get partial ferning for a couple of days and then full ferning for around 4 days (after that it goes back to partial ferning for a day or 2, I think). I don't have fertile looking CM yet, but I think I will soon. I'm really glad I bought the microscope, it's definitely interesting and hopefully it'll be accurate too. I think it's going to be useful because I ovulate on different cycle days every month and this should give me a heads up so we don't miss my most fertile days. We always seem to time it well anyway, but last month I was surprised to ovulate on CD17 and there's a chance we wouldn't have timed it well because of that. As it happened, we timed it perfectly anyway, but who knows if that would be the case every time? Anyway, for $27.95, it was definitely worth it :)
Monday, May 21, 2012
My appointment today
I had my first appointment with the gynecologist today. Aside from having to wait in the exam room for about an hour, it went very well. She's really nice and I felt comfortable with her. She was really impressed that I've been charting my cycles and she also was impressed that my hubby is getting his testing done too (apparently she had another patient this morning whose other half refused to get a semen analysis done - thank goodness my hubby isn't like that!).
My pap smear went fine and she ordered blood work which I had done right after my appointment. I think the tests were for thyroid and estrogen levels. We discussed the B-complex I take and she's happy for me to continue with that, along with my prenatal vitamins of course. She's ordered a HSG for me too which I'm happy about. I'll get that done early in my next cycle - apparently I can just call their office and they'll get me in the next day or something. I also need glucose testing which I'll get on the same day as my HSG. I'll have to fast before that one and I'll be there for around 2 hours for the glucose testing - it doesn't sound like much fun! I guess I'll take a book or something with me... :)
I wonder if the glucose testing is part of the normal work-up or if she suspects something is wrong. Either way, I'll go get it done and see what the outcome is. There's no point worrying about it, really. It won't be for at least 3 weeks - I don't expect to ovulate before CD17, then my LP should be 13 days, then I'll have my period which is usually around 4-5 days long - and then I'll get the HSG and glucose testing done. We're probably looking at the middle of June, so I can put it out of my mind for now.
My hubby was going to get all of his testing done today as well, but that didn't work out. He fasted from last night and went to get his blood drawn while I was waiting to go in for my appointment, and he was going to take his semen sample in later on (he didn't have time to obtain one this morning because of work - even though today is supposed to be one of his vacation days). Well, it turns out he has to take his sample in at the same time as he gets his bloods done, otherwise he has to see his doctor again for another referral. Oh, and we have to go to a different lab on the other side of the city, too. Ugh!! I wish they would've said that last week, how on earth are people supposed to know these things when nobody tells you anything?! OK, so we're hoping that he'll be able to get his stuff done tomorrow morning, but it's kind of doubtful because yet more stuff has gone wrong at work and even though he allegedly has today and tomorrow off, it's highly unlikely he's actually getting any time off. It sucks!
At least if he can get his testing done before I have my HSG, then hopefully all of our results will be available at the same time and the gynecologist can go over them with us. I'll have to wait until I get my next period to schedule the HSG so I'm thinking if tomorrow doesn't work out for my hubby to get his testing done, then if he can get it done after I ovulate we should be good. Fingers crossed, anyway.
My pap smear went fine and she ordered blood work which I had done right after my appointment. I think the tests were for thyroid and estrogen levels. We discussed the B-complex I take and she's happy for me to continue with that, along with my prenatal vitamins of course. She's ordered a HSG for me too which I'm happy about. I'll get that done early in my next cycle - apparently I can just call their office and they'll get me in the next day or something. I also need glucose testing which I'll get on the same day as my HSG. I'll have to fast before that one and I'll be there for around 2 hours for the glucose testing - it doesn't sound like much fun! I guess I'll take a book or something with me... :)
I wonder if the glucose testing is part of the normal work-up or if she suspects something is wrong. Either way, I'll go get it done and see what the outcome is. There's no point worrying about it, really. It won't be for at least 3 weeks - I don't expect to ovulate before CD17, then my LP should be 13 days, then I'll have my period which is usually around 4-5 days long - and then I'll get the HSG and glucose testing done. We're probably looking at the middle of June, so I can put it out of my mind for now.
My hubby was going to get all of his testing done today as well, but that didn't work out. He fasted from last night and went to get his blood drawn while I was waiting to go in for my appointment, and he was going to take his semen sample in later on (he didn't have time to obtain one this morning because of work - even though today is supposed to be one of his vacation days). Well, it turns out he has to take his sample in at the same time as he gets his bloods done, otherwise he has to see his doctor again for another referral. Oh, and we have to go to a different lab on the other side of the city, too. Ugh!! I wish they would've said that last week, how on earth are people supposed to know these things when nobody tells you anything?! OK, so we're hoping that he'll be able to get his stuff done tomorrow morning, but it's kind of doubtful because yet more stuff has gone wrong at work and even though he allegedly has today and tomorrow off, it's highly unlikely he's actually getting any time off. It sucks!
At least if he can get his testing done before I have my HSG, then hopefully all of our results will be available at the same time and the gynecologist can go over them with us. I'll have to wait until I get my next period to schedule the HSG so I'm thinking if tomorrow doesn't work out for my hubby to get his testing done, then if he can get it done after I ovulate we should be good. Fingers crossed, anyway.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Hubby's appointment & more
My hubby's appointment today went well. The doctor didn't fob us off, he was very nice and gave my hubby a referral for a semen analysis and some bloodwork (which, if the SA comes back fine, will be irrelevant in terms of TTC but still useful to know about). He's getting his thyroid and testosterone tested, along with cholesterol.
We went to the lab (it's in the same building as the doctor) and they gave us a cup for the semen sample. It's good that he can "obtain the sample" at home, I imagine it'd be quite stressful having to do it at the lab with people waiting on you.
While we were talking with the doctor I asked if he could recommend a gynecologist and it turns out there's one in the same building who he recommended. I went and registered with them and I have an appointment for next Monday. I'll get a pap smear and discuss TTC with them. The doctor we spoke with at my hubby's appointment didn't seem concerned with the fact that I usually ovulate around CD21, he said as long as I'm ovulating it's all good. I'll see what the gynecologist says when I have my appointment. At least I have everything printed out now, so even though I didn't end up needing to show the doctor my charts today it wasn't a waste of paper printing them. I hope the gynecologist is nice and will listen to me. Maybe she'll be able to see something wrong from my charts, who knows?
I feel better now that we're being proactive, anyway. I have no idea what my hubby's test results will be like, or whether I'll be needing testing also (most likely HSG, ultrasounds, bloodwork) but now that we're starting down the road of testing, I just feel more positive. It's weird because I always hoped we'd never need to do anything like this, but we do and that's that. If one (or both) of us has a problem it's better to address it than just keep blindly TTC. Maybe if there's something wrong it'll be easily fixed. It could be something really simple to treat. Either way, if there's something wrong we want to know about it.
As I said to my hubby, if we find out that we're not going to be able to have kids I'll be devastated, but I think in a way it might be easier to find closure and move on than if they can't find any problems and yet we still can't get pregnant. I mean, obviously I'd hate to have to face being truly infertile, but then we'd stop TTC and find a new direction in life I guess. If you find out you have "unexplained infertility" then when do you stop trying? Do you stop? I know you can just "go with the flow" and not prevent pregnancy, but you'd always be wondering if you might be pregnant, you know? I don't want anything to be wrong with either of us, but at least if they know what the problem is it might be able to be sorted out. Not knowing would be torture, I think. I don't know if what I just wrote makes sense, but hopefully it does.
We went to the lab (it's in the same building as the doctor) and they gave us a cup for the semen sample. It's good that he can "obtain the sample" at home, I imagine it'd be quite stressful having to do it at the lab with people waiting on you.
While we were talking with the doctor I asked if he could recommend a gynecologist and it turns out there's one in the same building who he recommended. I went and registered with them and I have an appointment for next Monday. I'll get a pap smear and discuss TTC with them. The doctor we spoke with at my hubby's appointment didn't seem concerned with the fact that I usually ovulate around CD21, he said as long as I'm ovulating it's all good. I'll see what the gynecologist says when I have my appointment. At least I have everything printed out now, so even though I didn't end up needing to show the doctor my charts today it wasn't a waste of paper printing them. I hope the gynecologist is nice and will listen to me. Maybe she'll be able to see something wrong from my charts, who knows?
I feel better now that we're being proactive, anyway. I have no idea what my hubby's test results will be like, or whether I'll be needing testing also (most likely HSG, ultrasounds, bloodwork) but now that we're starting down the road of testing, I just feel more positive. It's weird because I always hoped we'd never need to do anything like this, but we do and that's that. If one (or both) of us has a problem it's better to address it than just keep blindly TTC. Maybe if there's something wrong it'll be easily fixed. It could be something really simple to treat. Either way, if there's something wrong we want to know about it.
As I said to my hubby, if we find out that we're not going to be able to have kids I'll be devastated, but I think in a way it might be easier to find closure and move on than if they can't find any problems and yet we still can't get pregnant. I mean, obviously I'd hate to have to face being truly infertile, but then we'd stop TTC and find a new direction in life I guess. If you find out you have "unexplained infertility" then when do you stop trying? Do you stop? I know you can just "go with the flow" and not prevent pregnancy, but you'd always be wondering if you might be pregnant, you know? I don't want anything to be wrong with either of us, but at least if they know what the problem is it might be able to be sorted out. Not knowing would be torture, I think. I don't know if what I just wrote makes sense, but hopefully it does.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
My hubby
Last night while we were eating dinner, my hubby apologized to me. Why? Because he didn't do anything for Mother's Day (from our pugs). I know it sounds ridiculous, but last year he got me a little gift from them and I was a little bummed this year when he didn't do anything. OK, now I've written it down it sounds crazy. Anyway, he said that he "didn't want to remind me of what we don't have". I almost cried because there's no way I can forget what we don't have. I wish I could, believe me. Anyway, I thought it was sweet of him to think about it so much. I just figured he thought it was a silly thing to do, since the dogs are dogs and not our kids. I didn't really consider that he was worried about hurting me. I guess he's deeper than I give him credit for!
He also asked me to go with him to his doctor appointment tomorrow. He's worried he'd omit important info about what we've been doing as far as TTC is concerned. He probably would, in all honesty. He's not the one who's been charting and temping etc. He wouldn't have a clue about how long my cycles are or what day I ovulate on. I mean, I tell him that stuff but I doubt that he retains that information. He's a guy, after all. So I'm glad he wants me to be there - I guess we should be doing this together anyway.
I'm all too aware that 90% of couples conceive within a year of having regular unprotected sex, and that number only increases to 95% within 4 years. It's not very encouraging when we're virtually at the one year mark now, but statistics aren't everything. Maybe those women who conceive within 12 months have perfect 28 day cycles - I sure as hell don't. Maybe they're thin - I'm definitely not. This is why I'm not sure when to get myself checked out: should I wait until I've had 12 cycles? Or is a year of having fairly long cycles (34 days on average) enough? I guess we'll see what happens when my hubby gets tested and go from there. I have this niggling suspicion that if anything is "wrong" with either of us, it'll be me and not him. I don't know why, I just do.
He also asked me to go with him to his doctor appointment tomorrow. He's worried he'd omit important info about what we've been doing as far as TTC is concerned. He probably would, in all honesty. He's not the one who's been charting and temping etc. He wouldn't have a clue about how long my cycles are or what day I ovulate on. I mean, I tell him that stuff but I doubt that he retains that information. He's a guy, after all. So I'm glad he wants me to be there - I guess we should be doing this together anyway.
I'm all too aware that 90% of couples conceive within a year of having regular unprotected sex, and that number only increases to 95% within 4 years. It's not very encouraging when we're virtually at the one year mark now, but statistics aren't everything. Maybe those women who conceive within 12 months have perfect 28 day cycles - I sure as hell don't. Maybe they're thin - I'm definitely not. This is why I'm not sure when to get myself checked out: should I wait until I've had 12 cycles? Or is a year of having fairly long cycles (34 days on average) enough? I guess we'll see what happens when my hubby gets tested and go from there. I have this niggling suspicion that if anything is "wrong" with either of us, it'll be me and not him. I don't know why, I just do.
Monday, May 14, 2012
CD4, Cycle #11 (10 charting)
We're loving going to the gym! We went Wednesday (30 mins), Thursday (1 hour), Saturday night (30 mins) and yesterday (1 hour). We have our official gym induction tomorrow so we'll be there again.
While we were at the gym on Thursday, someone (or some people) tried to break into our next-door neighbor's house. They pried a couple of the window screens off to try and open the windows; they tried to get in the back doors using a crowbar; they messed with the electricity box (pulled out one of the wires) and they stole the circuit breaker (or something like that) from the A/C box. He didn't realize anything was amiss until the A/C wasn't working properly - when he went to investigate, he found the bent window screens on the ground and everything else. He's a single dad of a 9 year old son, and the kid is understandably freaked out by all of this. Hell, I'm freaked out and it wasn't our house they tried to get into.
We'd been talking about getting a security door for a while, and Thursday's events prompted us to get the ball rolling. We ordered it Friday, and it's supposed to take about a month to be built and installed. I hope it'll be ready sooner than that, though. I know the chances are nobody is going to try to get in the front door, but it'll make everything much easier generally - we'll be able to answer the door without first having to round up the dogs, for one. Also, we'll be able to air the house out without the dogs getting loose.
We also started using our house alarm. We'd never used it before, but it makes sense to since it's here! I know nothing will stop someone who's really determined to get in, but it might just deter someone. It's LOUD!
Yesterday was Mother's Day, of course. It was kind of a sad day for me, but I hope that next year it'll be better. My hubby has his doctor appointment on Wednesday, so hopefully he'll get a referral for a SA. My period came on Friday so that cycle ended up being 29 days - the shortest since we started TTC. My LP was 12 days, which I'm not too worried about but last time it was 15 and it's usually 13, so I don't know what's going on really. I sometimes wonder if it's a problem that I start spotting a few days before my period starts, but I guess I'll find out when I get tested (probably in 2-3 months time if I'm still not pregnant by then). Today is CD4 so hopefully I'll ovulate in around 2 weeks time. I know that when my hubby gets his SA done he'll need to abstain for 2-3 days beforehand, so depending on appointment availability he may need to wait until after I ovulate to get the test done. If he can get it done by CD14, great. If not, then it'll have to be after O.
Part of me thinks we should just not try this month. Partly because maybe we could use a break, but also because my mom and step-dad are coming to visit in February. They're arriving 2/22 and leaving 3/8. If I were to get pregnant this cycle, my EDD would be around the middle of February. Some people would think "great timing, how wonderful!" but I don't! We've already talked about it (months ago) and decided that when we eventually have a baby, we don't want any house-guests around. My mom and step-dad are staying with us, and that would drive me crazy if I was about to give birth or had just given birth. I don't mind having guests at a 'normal' time, but I can only imagine how stressful it would be trying to 'entertain' guests while sleep-deprived and in pain, trying to establish a routine with the baby, learning to breastfeed, etc. It would be a very bad thing having guests at that time.
The part of me that thinks we should maybe take a break from trying is smaller than the part of me that thinks "chances are it won't happen anyway, so we may as well try. Plus, what if this is our month?" Hmmm. I don't know what to do really. I guess if I do get pregnant this cycle, we can tell my mom they'll have to stay in a hotel. I guess that would probably be rude, but surely they'd understand? There's plenty of time between now and then for them to organize a hotel, it's not like it's next week or anything. Why am I even thinking about this, anyway? More likely than not, we won't have anything to work out because the chances of me getting pregnant this month are probably as good as they have been for the past year - nothing's happened yet, so why would it all of a sudden happen now? Pessimistic I know, but when I get my hopes up it hurts more when I don't get pregnant.
While we were at the gym on Thursday, someone (or some people) tried to break into our next-door neighbor's house. They pried a couple of the window screens off to try and open the windows; they tried to get in the back doors using a crowbar; they messed with the electricity box (pulled out one of the wires) and they stole the circuit breaker (or something like that) from the A/C box. He didn't realize anything was amiss until the A/C wasn't working properly - when he went to investigate, he found the bent window screens on the ground and everything else. He's a single dad of a 9 year old son, and the kid is understandably freaked out by all of this. Hell, I'm freaked out and it wasn't our house they tried to get into.
We'd been talking about getting a security door for a while, and Thursday's events prompted us to get the ball rolling. We ordered it Friday, and it's supposed to take about a month to be built and installed. I hope it'll be ready sooner than that, though. I know the chances are nobody is going to try to get in the front door, but it'll make everything much easier generally - we'll be able to answer the door without first having to round up the dogs, for one. Also, we'll be able to air the house out without the dogs getting loose.
We also started using our house alarm. We'd never used it before, but it makes sense to since it's here! I know nothing will stop someone who's really determined to get in, but it might just deter someone. It's LOUD!
Yesterday was Mother's Day, of course. It was kind of a sad day for me, but I hope that next year it'll be better. My hubby has his doctor appointment on Wednesday, so hopefully he'll get a referral for a SA. My period came on Friday so that cycle ended up being 29 days - the shortest since we started TTC. My LP was 12 days, which I'm not too worried about but last time it was 15 and it's usually 13, so I don't know what's going on really. I sometimes wonder if it's a problem that I start spotting a few days before my period starts, but I guess I'll find out when I get tested (probably in 2-3 months time if I'm still not pregnant by then). Today is CD4 so hopefully I'll ovulate in around 2 weeks time. I know that when my hubby gets his SA done he'll need to abstain for 2-3 days beforehand, so depending on appointment availability he may need to wait until after I ovulate to get the test done. If he can get it done by CD14, great. If not, then it'll have to be after O.
Part of me thinks we should just not try this month. Partly because maybe we could use a break, but also because my mom and step-dad are coming to visit in February. They're arriving 2/22 and leaving 3/8. If I were to get pregnant this cycle, my EDD would be around the middle of February. Some people would think "great timing, how wonderful!" but I don't! We've already talked about it (months ago) and decided that when we eventually have a baby, we don't want any house-guests around. My mom and step-dad are staying with us, and that would drive me crazy if I was about to give birth or had just given birth. I don't mind having guests at a 'normal' time, but I can only imagine how stressful it would be trying to 'entertain' guests while sleep-deprived and in pain, trying to establish a routine with the baby, learning to breastfeed, etc. It would be a very bad thing having guests at that time.
The part of me that thinks we should maybe take a break from trying is smaller than the part of me that thinks "chances are it won't happen anyway, so we may as well try. Plus, what if this is our month?" Hmmm. I don't know what to do really. I guess if I do get pregnant this cycle, we can tell my mom they'll have to stay in a hotel. I guess that would probably be rude, but surely they'd understand? There's plenty of time between now and then for them to organize a hotel, it's not like it's next week or anything. Why am I even thinking about this, anyway? More likely than not, we won't have anything to work out because the chances of me getting pregnant this month are probably as good as they have been for the past year - nothing's happened yet, so why would it all of a sudden happen now? Pessimistic I know, but when I get my hopes up it hurts more when I don't get pregnant.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Exactly 11 months of TTC: thinking about possible options.
I hate to sound pessimistic, but I'm pretty convinced that this cycle is a bust like all the rest. Today is 11 dpo and I started spotting yesterday. I got a BFN when I tested yesterday. I didn't test today as the spotting is still there and it seemed like a waste of a test. My period is due Saturday (5/12) if my LP is its usual 13 days, so it won't be long now. I have a feeling my LP might end up being shorter this time because the spotting started earlier than usual. Normally it starts at 11 or 12 dpo, but it started at 10 dpo this time. My chart still looks OK, I guess, but the spotting is a pretty good indicator that we haven't been successful.
I'm going to be honest and say that yesterday was a terrible day for me. I just felt so low about the whole thing. I snapped at my hubby and then cried my eyes out. I really don't like what this process is doing to me, sometimes I can be such a bitch. I just feel like a total failure and this whole thing just hurts so much. For as long as I can remember I've wanted so much to be a mommy, and when we started our TTC journey I never imagined that at this point I wouldn't be pregnant. We know when I ovulate and we time things well every single cycle. I can't help but think there's something wrong, you know? I'm 28 and my hubby is 30. We don't have any medical issues as far as we know. We don't smoke, we hardly ever drink (we might have a couple of glasses of wine right at the beginning of my cycle when I don't temp, but that's it). I've been taking Mucinex for a few months around my fertile time to improve my cervical mucus and we started using Pre-Seed this cycle. We're going to join a gym today and we'll aim to go 3 times a week. Other than that I don't know what else we can really do to improve our chances.
Anyway, my hubby has made an appointment with his doctor for next week to get a referral for a semen analysis. It seems like the obvious thing to do, since it's non-invasive. I'll obviously need to get tested too, but at least if we know there are no sperm issues that's a start. Of course the SA could come back with bad results, but if that's the case we'd be better off knowing. If he's sterile (which I doubt, but who knows right?) then I can stop this crazy cycle of ups and downs. I'd be able to stop charting and all of that, because really what would be the point in that case? I honestly believe if either of us has a fertility issue it will be something wrong with me rather than him, but at least the SA will shed some light on things. There's every chance it'll come back great, and I really hope it does. We're both as prepared as we can be that it might not, though.
We've already discussed what our options might be if his SA is awful, and decided that we probably wouldn't want to use donor sperm if it came down to that. I just don't think I'd be comfortable with it. I think I'm mostly worried that my hubby wouldn't be able to handle it if I was pregnant and it technically wasn't his baby. Plus, I really want for us to have a baby that's part of us both.
If it transpires that IVF is our only option, I don't know what we'll do. We can't afford it (it costs approx. $16,000 per cycle, maybe even more). My issue with IVF is this: when do you stop? Wouldn't you just feel like "maybe the next cycle will work"? You'd have invested so much emotionally and financially, that you might not want to stop until you ended up with a baby. That could end up costing more than our house! Like I said, we couldn't really afford it anyway. If it was 100% guaranteed, then we'd probably make it work. Sadly, the odds are generally much lower than that.
We've talked about adoption and I did a little bit of research yesterday, but it sounds quite daunting. Apparently for every healthy baby up for adoption in the US, there are 40 couples waiting to adopt. Yikes. It can also cost up to $40,000, which is beyond our reach. The website I looked at tried to make the cost seem better by saying something along the lines of "any method of having a baby costs money - hospital bills etc." While this is true, there's this thing called insurance and ours covers virtually everything pregnancy and delivery related. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't cover anything to do with adoption! Plus, adoption opens a whole other can of worms. Some people who were adopted don't have a problem with it, while others have a whole host of issues because of it.
I know I'm getting way ahead of myself here: as far as we know, neither of us have any fertility problems. If one (or both) of us are found to have issues, they might be easily treated. There's a good chance we'll never need to consider IVF or adoption. I guess I just need to get my thoughts out at the moment!
I think joining the gym will do us both good, it'll be a great outlet for our frustrations. Back in the UK I loved going to the gym: I'd go 4 or 5 times a week. It helped - at that time, hubby (then fiancé) and I were more than 5,000 miles apart and it kept me busy.
I sometimes feel as though my hubby doesn't feel the way I do about our lack of pregnancy, but after talking to him last night I think it's just that he's better at hiding his feelings than I am. He's probably almost as disappointed as I am about the whole thing, but he doesn't get emotional like I do. I get it, in some ways it's not so real for men as it is for women. He's not the one having awful periods, feeling like everyone else is pregnant, charting, taking 2 different vitamins every day, taking Mucinex, using Pre-Seed, monitoring potential symptoms, taking pregnancy tests, etc. There's a quote out there that says something like this: a woman becomes a mother as soon as she finds out she's pregnant; men become fathers when the baby is born. There may be some truth to that, because it's not the guy who experiences pregnancy first-hand.
I really want the whole package - I want to be pregnant and experience the whole thing. I know it's not glamorous, and sometimes pregnancy is downright uncomfortable and annoying. I want to have that, though: to know our baby is growing in my tummy, to go to scans and see the baby on the screen, to give birth... all of it. I really hope it'll happen for us soon.
I'm going to be honest and say that yesterday was a terrible day for me. I just felt so low about the whole thing. I snapped at my hubby and then cried my eyes out. I really don't like what this process is doing to me, sometimes I can be such a bitch. I just feel like a total failure and this whole thing just hurts so much. For as long as I can remember I've wanted so much to be a mommy, and when we started our TTC journey I never imagined that at this point I wouldn't be pregnant. We know when I ovulate and we time things well every single cycle. I can't help but think there's something wrong, you know? I'm 28 and my hubby is 30. We don't have any medical issues as far as we know. We don't smoke, we hardly ever drink (we might have a couple of glasses of wine right at the beginning of my cycle when I don't temp, but that's it). I've been taking Mucinex for a few months around my fertile time to improve my cervical mucus and we started using Pre-Seed this cycle. We're going to join a gym today and we'll aim to go 3 times a week. Other than that I don't know what else we can really do to improve our chances.
Anyway, my hubby has made an appointment with his doctor for next week to get a referral for a semen analysis. It seems like the obvious thing to do, since it's non-invasive. I'll obviously need to get tested too, but at least if we know there are no sperm issues that's a start. Of course the SA could come back with bad results, but if that's the case we'd be better off knowing. If he's sterile (which I doubt, but who knows right?) then I can stop this crazy cycle of ups and downs. I'd be able to stop charting and all of that, because really what would be the point in that case? I honestly believe if either of us has a fertility issue it will be something wrong with me rather than him, but at least the SA will shed some light on things. There's every chance it'll come back great, and I really hope it does. We're both as prepared as we can be that it might not, though.
We've already discussed what our options might be if his SA is awful, and decided that we probably wouldn't want to use donor sperm if it came down to that. I just don't think I'd be comfortable with it. I think I'm mostly worried that my hubby wouldn't be able to handle it if I was pregnant and it technically wasn't his baby. Plus, I really want for us to have a baby that's part of us both.
If it transpires that IVF is our only option, I don't know what we'll do. We can't afford it (it costs approx. $16,000 per cycle, maybe even more). My issue with IVF is this: when do you stop? Wouldn't you just feel like "maybe the next cycle will work"? You'd have invested so much emotionally and financially, that you might not want to stop until you ended up with a baby. That could end up costing more than our house! Like I said, we couldn't really afford it anyway. If it was 100% guaranteed, then we'd probably make it work. Sadly, the odds are generally much lower than that.
We've talked about adoption and I did a little bit of research yesterday, but it sounds quite daunting. Apparently for every healthy baby up for adoption in the US, there are 40 couples waiting to adopt. Yikes. It can also cost up to $40,000, which is beyond our reach. The website I looked at tried to make the cost seem better by saying something along the lines of "any method of having a baby costs money - hospital bills etc." While this is true, there's this thing called insurance and ours covers virtually everything pregnancy and delivery related. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't cover anything to do with adoption! Plus, adoption opens a whole other can of worms. Some people who were adopted don't have a problem with it, while others have a whole host of issues because of it.
I know I'm getting way ahead of myself here: as far as we know, neither of us have any fertility problems. If one (or both) of us are found to have issues, they might be easily treated. There's a good chance we'll never need to consider IVF or adoption. I guess I just need to get my thoughts out at the moment!
I think joining the gym will do us both good, it'll be a great outlet for our frustrations. Back in the UK I loved going to the gym: I'd go 4 or 5 times a week. It helped - at that time, hubby (then fiancé) and I were more than 5,000 miles apart and it kept me busy.
I sometimes feel as though my hubby doesn't feel the way I do about our lack of pregnancy, but after talking to him last night I think it's just that he's better at hiding his feelings than I am. He's probably almost as disappointed as I am about the whole thing, but he doesn't get emotional like I do. I get it, in some ways it's not so real for men as it is for women. He's not the one having awful periods, feeling like everyone else is pregnant, charting, taking 2 different vitamins every day, taking Mucinex, using Pre-Seed, monitoring potential symptoms, taking pregnancy tests, etc. There's a quote out there that says something like this: a woman becomes a mother as soon as she finds out she's pregnant; men become fathers when the baby is born. There may be some truth to that, because it's not the guy who experiences pregnancy first-hand.
I really want the whole package - I want to be pregnant and experience the whole thing. I know it's not glamorous, and sometimes pregnancy is downright uncomfortable and annoying. I want to have that, though: to know our baby is growing in my tummy, to go to scans and see the baby on the screen, to give birth... all of it. I really hope it'll happen for us soon.
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