Wednesday, August 24, 2011


I still haven't ovulated yet! Oh well. It happened last cycle on CD22/23 so I'm not too worried.

Here's my chart so far:
I do feel as though it's going to happen soon, but I've felt that way for like 5 days now! I had EWCM on Sunday (CD19) but I haven't seen it again since. As long as I do actually ovulate, that's all I'm really bothered about right now! :-)

I found a very interesting board on, called Dealing with the In-laws and FOO (family of origin). You would not believe the kind of drama some women have had surrounding their pregnancies/childbirths. Family members throwing a hissy fit because they're not allowed to be there for the birth, or not allowed to stay with the new family immediately after the birth, all kinds of crazy shit! OMG! I'm glad I found it before I'm even pregnant, because I can see some of the same issues possibly being a problem for us.

1. MIL, although I get along with her well and she means well I think, is pretty overbearing. Example - insisting to my hubby and BIL (29 and 25 respectively) that she should be allowed to make them dentist appointments. They declined, she asked if she could make one for me! FIL eventually had to step in and tell her no, they're grown adults, leave them alone FFS!

2. MIL took hubby aside a few weeks ago to ask him when we're going to have a baby (he said "when we're ready" despite the fact that we've been TTC since June, haha) and she told him to tell me to stop taking BCP so we could get started. I actually laugh about this, but I don't think it's appropriate for her to be saying things like that. She should've just left the subject alone when hubby told her "when we're ready", IMO.
She also announced (rather randomly!) one evening at dinner that she thinks we should have 3 kids and we should have a girl (she never had a girl but always wanted one). When she asked us what we want when we do have a baby (girl or boy) we both said we really don't mind, we just want them to be healthy. FIL was in complete agreement on this too (he's normal, lol!)
I'm not sure where the 3 kids thing came from - she seems to think it's the best number, but she only had 2! :D

3. My dad is very overbearing and can be pretty childish, along with being selfish most of the time. I'm 99% sure that when we tell him we're expecting, he'll be wanting to make plans to come over here and stay with us (because our house is evidently a hotel). We will be moving into our new house in about 10 days or so, so we will have a guest room (we don't in this house), but honestly when I've thought about it properly (about what it'll probably be like right after giving birth - uncomfortable, in pain, trying to get the hang of breastfeeding, getting into some kind of routine as a family, etc. etc.) I really don't think we'll be wanting house-guests for at least 4-6 weeks after the birth. If it was someone who would actually help out around the house, rather than sit on their ass all day without lifting a finger, then I might consider it. My dad, though? Um, no! When he visited for 10 days over new year, he drove me crazy by not doing anything for himself and I had to clean up after him all the time. If it drove me crazy without having a baby to look after, then can you imagine how much of a pain it would be if I'd just given birth?!?!
I mentioned that he can be childish and selfish - well, I'm sure if I said that we didn't want any house-guests for x amount of time he'd be all sulky and spouting the "what about what I want?" kind of shit. Now I do know that we'll see our baby every day, and for people visiting it won't be like that, but those first few weeks are pretty crucial bonding time, and I don't want to be unable to breastfeed because of someone stressing me out all the time!

4. I expect MIL is probably going to want to be at the birth. This is non-negotiable for me - nobody will be with me while I'm in labor/giving birth other than my husband and the necessary medical professionals. If I don't want my own mom there, I sure as hell don't want my MIL there!

5. MIL (and FIL, to some extent) is a Jehovah Witness. Hubby and BIL left that cult as soon as they were old enough to get out. FIL I think goes just to keep the peace in their house, because he gets nagged. a. lot.
Anyway, it seems like she's still holding out hope that hubby and I will magically decide to join too, which I can assure you will never happen, ever. I do worry though that she will try to brainwash our kids when they're young, because I don't think she can help herself when it comes to that stuff. I've told hubby that I'd be majorly pissed if she did anything like that and he's in complete agreement with me on that issue. Let's hope it doesn't happen, but I must say I'll be very surprised if she doesn't do that... =/

Now, another concern at the moment is that our new house is very close to the in-laws' house (1.3 miles). We went ahead with buying the house because it is lovely and we really like the area, but I've been wondering lately if it's going to cause issues. I really hope it doesn't, but hubby and I have talked about it and decided that we should set some boundaries when we first move in, so that we don't have any problems. My in-laws will have a spare key to our house in case we lose ours or whatever, but it's not to be used for coming into our home uninvited! We will have a mutual respect for each others' privacy - no showing up unannounced or uninvited. I think we can say it in such a way as to make it sound like we're alleviating any worries they might have about us living so close, so that it's not just a "you will not come over without calling first" kind of demand. It'll be more like a "now we're going to be living so close by, we think it's best if we all respect each others privacy and not show up at each others houses unannounced" kind of thing. We need to set some boundaries from the start, I think, judging by the experiences of people on that DWIL board!

I should add that I really do like my in-laws, they've been very good to hubby and I, so it's not like I don't want to see them. I just don't want his mom walking into our house whenever she feels like it! (We'd never do that to them, either)

I do have some justification for being worried about this - MIL has often shown up at BIL's house (even though it's a good 20 miles away from hers) without prior notice and just let herself in. Hubby says she's not like that with him (she really babies BIL - probably because he doesn't stop her from doing so!) so hopefully she won't start doing that. I just think with us living so close there's a good chance she might do. Hopefully she won't show up out of the blue with her Kingdom Hall friends to show them our house (we don't know them, for a start!)

Anyway, I'm glad I got that out of my system! :-)

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