Friday, September 30, 2011

Update on MIL

The day after my last post, hubby and I decided that we would write his mom a letter (because she won't listen to us, so we had no other option) and tell her that she cannot and will not treat us the way she did that evening. So, we wrote it together but it's actually from hubby. I didn't sign it or anything, it's written from his point of view. We did a good job, we spent a long time going over it, editing things, to make sure that it wasn't rude or bitchy. Anyway, we took it to his parents' house and his dad answered the door. Hubby gave him the letter, to pass on to her. His dad was like "Oh, you don't want to give her it yourselves?" and I said "No, after Saturday we don't really want to see her right now". He then said he'd spoken to her about it (again) and that maybe the letter would get through to her.

The main points in the letter are:

1. Her behavior has become intolerable lately - because of this, we need at least a few months away from her to think about our relationship with her.

2. The way she tried to bully me into going to bible study with her was terrible - she should have dropped it as soon as I said I wasn't interested. "Just because you are my mom does not mean that you have the right to treat me or my wife in such a way."

3. We will never discuss religion with her again. If she ever tries to push her beliefs on us again, she won't be a part of our lives anymore.

4. If she wants anything to do with our future kids, she will respect our wishes as their parents and will not discuss religion with them either.

5. She can't be trusted with our kids, when we have them, because she's made it clear that she will brainwash them. She won't have the opportunity to babysit, ever.

6. She needs to let go of the idea that her as a grandma will have more say than us as the parents - what a ridiculous notion!

7. If she can't respect us as adults then she will be cut off.

8. She's obviously a control freak and doesn't like it when she doesn't get her own way. Hubby is almost 30 and doesn't need her running his life for him!

9. She crossed a big line that night - we won't back down on this issue at all. If she can't respect us, then she knows the consequences.

So, of course she called BIL to tell him about the letter. She apparently said, "If it torments them so much to speak to me, they don't have to" - how did we know she was going to try to turn it around on us?! As if we're the ones with a problem?!?! Whatever, lady.

Anyway, we'll have a nice few months away from the craziness, and see what happens then. She will most likely never change, but that's fine - we don't have to put up with her stupid behavior anyway, so whatever!

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