CD6

My period showed on Friday, so my LP was 13 days again. I was disappointed for a little while, but I'm over it now. There's no point in dwelling on what could have been, after all. I have to admit that when I was cooking hubby's 30th birthday breakfast pancakes this morning, and it dawned on me that if I had been pregnant I'd be telling him today (if I'd been able to keep it to myself this long, haha) - that kinda hurt a little. Oh well.

I changed my mind about the B-50 complex, I'm gonna keep taking it at least for this cycle. I might keep up with it regardless of it having any effect on my LP. A 13 day LP is fine anyway.

About the whole TTC thing, I sometimes have my doubts about whether I really want to be pregnant. It's crazy, because I really do want to be! I've always wanted to be a mom, you know? I think sometimes it just freaks me out a little, that's normal right? (I hope so!). Then I have this somewhat irrational 'fear' that we won't be able to have kids. I don't have any reason to believe that we'll have problems, so I don't know where that comes from. Weird, huh?

I'm baking a red velvet cake this afternoon for my hubby, I hope he likes it! I'll post a pic if it turns out well... I've never made one before so it'll be interesting! :)

Lately I've been really wanting to get another dog. I must be crazy, right? I mean, we have 2 already. I just really would like a third, it would have to be a boy because 3 girls would be a nightmare (we had enough trouble with the 2 girls we have, until we got the dog trainer involved). Anyway my hubby eventually agreed to go to a big adoption event on Sunday (I'd been pestering him about it since Saturday evening and he said no until Sunday morning) and I got all excited thinking that if he was up for going to the event, we might get another dog. Wrong! Granted, the pugs they had there on that day weren't probably the best match for us. Our girls are 2 and 4 so we'd probably need to get one around the same age. I'd actually love to adopt an older one but it would have to be a very playful older dog, otherwise it would get really pissed with our younger one (she always wants to play). I don't think that the rescue would match us with an older dog for that reason. Anyway, we're going to the pug rescue fundraiser this coming Sunday and I know they'll have most of their pugs there. We wouldn't even have to fill in an application because we've already adopted from them, and they know us. It would be so easy! I don't think there's any hope though, my hubby isn't ready for another dog and said he won't be for 1-2 years! I tried to reason with him, saying that if we want to get another dog, it'd be better to get one before we have a baby so that we can iron out any issues we may have before the baby comes. Plus, if I get pregnant at some point soon, we're very unlikely to adopt when we have a tiny baby. I'm hoping that he'll come around, but it's probably futile honestly.

So, I've been talking to him about fostering for pug rescue - they always need foster families for dogs until they find their forever homes. He seems OK with the idea - he said we could foster 1 and see how it goes. Maybe we could end up fostering 2 if it went well with 1. I think it would probably break my heart when they found their forever homes, but I'd just have to try not to get too attached. It's easier said than done, though, because some dogs end up being long-term fosters. You never know how long you might have them for - it could be a few days, a few weeks, months or even a year or longer! It would be a good thing to do, though - it would be nice to help the doggies find their homes. I think I'll email the pug rescue lady today and ask about it. I'm not really sure how it works, you know, the logistics of it all (vet bills, food, etc.)
The thing that worries me is that if we foster one who really fits in with us and our girls - wouldn't it be a shame to then have them go live with someone else? Ugh, I don't know if I'm strong enough to do it. I guess we won't know unless we try though...

12DPO

It's really not looking good - still spotting and now my temp has dropped. My period will likely show up tomorrow or the day after. *sigh*


I hope my next cycle will be more 'normal' - maybe I'll ovulate at a decent point in my cycle, for once. Maybe my temps will be easier to read, with less fluctuations.

I think I'm gonna stop taking the B-50 complex. It doesn't seem to have done anything to increase my LP length, and I don't want to increase the dosage so I'll just stop taking it when I get my period. I'll obviously keep taking my prenatals though.

11DPO

Today marks 11DPO, and I've started spotting a little. Ugh... I'm still kinda hoping it's implantation bleeding, but I'm having a hard time trying to convince myself of that. In my last ovulatory cycle, I started spotting at 11DPO as well. I know that this could technically be implantation bleeding, but really, isn't it too much of a coincidence that I started spotting on the exact same day as before? I guess anything's possible, but I'm inclined to believe that I'm not going to get my BFP this month. :(

It sucks, because this would be a great time to get my BFP. I know that whenever it happens it'll be amazing, but just in time for my hubby's 30th birthday? Yeah, that would be pretty awesome. I realized today that the last time I ovulated (before this time) was July 20th. That's almost 3 months ago! I know my last cycle was messed up by us moving house (at least, I'm pretty sure it was the stress from the move that prevented ovulation) but it feels like such a long time. I know that some women have serious trouble ovulating at all, so I don't want to sound like a whiney bitch, but I just wish I had regular 28 day cycles! I know it's only about 5 months since I stopped taking birth control pills, so my body might still be regulating itself, but long cycles really do suck. My shortest so far has been 35 days, the longest (my anovulatory one) was 42. I have heard of some women having cycles of 100+ days though, so maybe I should just be grateful for what I have. There's always someone worse off, right?

I tested again this morning - BFN (of course). It could still be too early, I guess. Or, more likely, I'm just not getting pregnant this month!

Anyway, for what it's worth, here's my chart. I'm pretty sure this won't be my BFP cycle, but technically I'm not out until my period shows. I still have a glimmer of hope, at least for now! :)

10DPO

I'm 10DPO today and feeling super hormonal! I'm having a lot of cramping, which has been quite painful at times. I'm still very gassy and bloated, and my skin is truly awful. I've tested at 8, 9 and 10DPO and all were negative (of course). I knew I shouldn't test until 12DPO but it seems I never listen to my own advice... Anyway, I haven't had any spotting yet so even though I'm cramping a lot I don't think my period is imminent. The last ovulatory cycle I had, I started spotting at 11DPO and my LP was 13 days. Now that I'm on the B vitamins, my LP may be longer, I don't know.

My chart still looks good, but it's probably still too early to make any real predictions. Here's my current chart:



Interestingly, my post-O temps are similar to my last ovulatory cycle... at least from 6-8DPO, anyway. Here's that chart:


The big difference with my current cycle's chart is that the cross-hairs are solid, which means FF is very sure of my ovulation day. Last time, they were dotted which means it wasn't entirely sure. The temperature rise with my current cycle was the rise and fall kind, which is also different, but it's a recognized ovulation pattern so I don't think that's anything I need to worry about.

I only hope that my temps stay high and that AF doesn't show! I'd love to get my BFP this month, it would be wonderful. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up, though. I'll most likely keep testing with my Wondfos every day until 14DPO, if my period hasn't turned up by that point. At least the Wondfos are cheap, so it won't break the bank! :)

Yay, I ovulated! :)

Damn, it's been quite a while since my last post. We haven't seen MIL since that horrible night, 9/17 (almost a month without the crazy - woo-hoo!). Life is great without the stress she causes!

Anyway, so it took a while but I finally ovulated! On 10/7, which was CD24. I'm so happy that it happened, even though it was a late one. I must admit, I was starting to worry that there was something wrong with me because I thought this cycle was going to be anovulatory like my last one. But no, it's all good :)

My chart looks pretty cool, I haven't had this pattern before with my temps but I remember seeing it described on FF as a "step" pattern. I'm only 6DPO today so it's too early to test of course. My chart did something crazy and decided on CD26 that I'd ovulated on CD11, even though I was pretty sure it was actually CD24. Anyway, on CD26 since it was telling me I was 15DPO I figured I may as well test - negative, obviously, because my O date was in fact only 2 days earlier! So that's why there's a test on my chart on CD26. I'm not actually that crazy to test at 2DPO!! :)

I really hope we have a good chance of catching that egg and getting our BFP this cycle! It's my hubby's 30th birthday in a little under 2 weeks from now - wouldn't that be a great birthday present?! It's also our wedding anniversary this weekend. I don't know if I should have any wine when we go out for our celebratory meal... I'm leaning towards 'no' but maybe I could have 1 glass. I'll only be 8DPO then, so if we did catch the egg implantation might not even have occurred by that point. Hmmm...