Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Another crappy cycle :(

Right now it's CD27 and I haven't ovulated. There were a few times when it looked like I might ovulate, but it never actually happened. I was actually quite optimistic for this cycle - I wasn't stressing about TTC, we were DTD pretty much every other day and just going with the flow really.

On another note, we're now fostering a pug for pug rescue. He's such a sweetie. He marks in the house occasionally but other than that, he's lovely. It'll be hard to let him go but we're taking him to adoption events and I hope he gets adopted. We went to one on Saturday and a few people really liked him but weren't in a position to adopt. There's another one this Saturday so maybe he'll find his forever home then. I just hope he doesn't get too attached to us, I wish there was some way to make him realize this is only his temporary home, you know? It'll all be OK. Once he gets adopted, I'm sure it won't be long before we get another foster to keep us busy. :)

Anyway, I don't know for sure but I think my lack of ovulation could be due to other stress. I've been having some problems with my dad, he's visiting from 12/23 to 1/3 and he's being an idiot for the most part.

It started in September, when he decided he was coming. This will sound bad, but when I got the email asking if he could visit for Christmas, my heart sank. The reason for that is:

1) He visited last year and was a complete pain in the ass
2) He's a terrible house guest
3) It's our first Christmas in our new house (and if my body would do its job and damn well ovulate, it could be our last Christmas without a baby - not that having a baby would be a bad thing, of course, but it could be our last Christmas as just "us")

Well, as soon as his trip was booked he started making demands of me. He demanded that I get my driver's license (I have my permit but haven't been having regular lessons since around May/June time). The reason he wants me to get my license? So I can drive him everywhere, because he "can't afford" to hire a car. Well, that's definitely not true - he could hire a car if he wanted to. I say this because he booked more expensive seats on the plane than he needed to (about $300 more than coach would've cost) and now he's also booked 1st class train tickets to get to the airport (about another $150 extra than standard class would've cost). Now normally I would say that his finances are none of my business, but when he's constantly going on about how much money he's spent on this and that, and then in the same breath telling me how "skint" he is, I think he's making it my business.

I should probably add here that the reason I don't have my license yet is that hubby's car is a stick shift and I really get nervous driving because I'm always worried about stalling. Whenever I do stall I get really flustered and I hate it, honestly. I think if we had an automatic like 99% of Americans, I'd be much better and would have my license already. I didn't really need to drive in England because the place is a whole lot smaller than America, LOL. Public transport wasn't too bad for the most part and the city I lived in wasn't as big as the one I live in now. Here it's another story, you really do need a car. So, yes, I'm a weirdo for not having my license but that's why. Once I realized I would be moving here I chose not to get my UK license because I think it would've been so weird to be used to driving on the left hand side of the road, and it would've been more confusing than just learning here.

Anyway, this latest example of my dad being "skint" is nothing new. We used to meet up for lunch once a week and take it in turns to pay. One time, it was his turn to pay and halfway through lunch he asked if we could split it or if I could pay (I think it was the former, I don't remember) because he was skint. Then, right after, he went and bought a suit that he didn't need! Right in front of me, of course. OMG. That was infuriating. It seems he's only "skint" when it suits him. Never mind the fact that at the time I was actually skint, getting debts paid off before moving to the US. And he earned a lot more than I did. Yeah.

While being skint, he's also spending upwards of $18,000 converting his garage into another living room. And now he says he's going to buy a leather jacket for his trip here. Knowing him, he'll spend around $300 on that. Oh, and he has a good few leather jackets already. *sigh*

He's repeatedly told me that while he's here we won't be able to eat out much, because he's skint. Hubby and I aren't actually bothered about eating out, we do so occasionally and it's a treat, not an every night thing. We cook the vast majority of the time and that's fine. However, my dad will not eat chicken. He's not allergic to it, he just won't eat it because he doesn't like the way chickens are kept. I get that, but he even said he probably wouldn't eat free range chicken either! Yet he has no problem eating any other meat. Hmmm. I asked if he would eat turkey - his response: "I suppose if it's free range turkey then yes, I could eat it". Well, dude, you're going to be here for Christmas and we're having turkey (most likely). If someone was coming to stay who had an allergy to certain foods, we wouldn't mind accommodating them. Or, if it was a religious thing and they couldn't eat certain things, then OK. But he's just being picky for the hell of it and that really pisses me off! He's trying to dictate what we buy and as a guest he should just be grateful for what we provide, right? I'd never dream of going to someone's home and demanding anything.

The very latest issue I have with him is that since he's traveling on the train now rather than getting a ride with my stepmom to the airport, he can't possibly bring a suitcase. Oh no, that's completely unreasonable apparently. So he's bringing carry-on only. For 11 days. Yes, 11 days. WTF?! When he told me this (I was half expecting it because I know what he's like) I asked that he at least bring more clothes than he did last time. He flew off the handle. Yes, because I would like him to bring enough clothes so that I don't have to be doing his laundry constantly. Gosh, how awful of me! Last year, he brought a big suitcase but hardly any clothes. I couldn't believe it - I even asked him who packed it! Honestly, he had 2 or 3 pairs of jeans, 2 or 3 shirts, 2 or 3 sweaters and maybe a few pairs of socks and underwear. His trip was 10 days. Every day he would ask if I was doing washing, even when I did a load of washing the day before! It was infuriating. Now, don't get me wrong, yes we have a washer and dryer and I don't have a problem doing someone's laundry. But every damn day? Seriously?! Unbelievable. Then, when I was doing washing, I'd tell him and ask for his stuff that needed washing, and half an hour later I would still be waiting for those items. I'd have to ask 2 or 3 times for them, when I wanted to just get on with the damn laundry. That's just stupid, right?
So yeah, when I asked him to bring more clothes than last time he got really pissy with me, telling me how ridiculous I am and making snide remarks. He even said that since I only see him once a year I should do his washing every day with no problem. Then he started saying sarcastically that he would give us the money it costs to run the washer. I had to get blunt with him and say, "We live in the friggin' desert. It's completely wasteful to run the washer every damn day when there's no real need to! It's not about the bloody money!"

The next few emails I got from him all contained a passive aggressive statement about laundry. The last one was simply this: "Maybe you can find out how to use the washing machine before I arrive. Ha ha." I didn't respond to that bullshit. I wanted to tell him to fuck off, honestly. What a dick!

Oh and because he's not bringing a suitcase, apparently I have to buy him all the toiletries he needs. That'll be shaving gel, razors, toothpaste and goodness knows what else. I don't want to sound like a tight-ass, but when I said he could use my hubby's shaving gel (we have 2 cans of the stuff!) he said he didn't want to use his. Seriously? So I have to go out and buy more, just for his 11 day trip? Huh. Great!

The last time he was here, I showed him where everything was in the kitchen and told him to help himself. He spent the majority of the time sitting on his ass demanding cups of tea constantly. He wouldn't even get himself a glass of water. I remember one time, I was cleaning the bathroom and he started shouting to me that our dog needed to go outside. He was right there, by the door, but wouldn't let her out because he was too busy sitting on his ass. When I shouted back "Can you let her out then?" his response was "I don't know how to work the door". For goodness sake! It's hardly complicated, it's a sliding patio door. Never mind the fact that he hadn't even attempted to do it...

He left snotty tissues all over the coffee table, which is frankly disgusting. I asked multiple times that he stop doing that, because our dog would try and get them, but he still did it. He left dirty socks on the couch. When I asked him to put his dirty clothes away he actually said he didn't know where to put them. Um, how about in your suitcase in a plastic bag? Is that really so hard to do? We're talking about someone in his 50s here, FFS!

One day he left a coffee cup in the bathroom. Why it was in the bathroom to begin with, I have no idea. He somehow managed to dirty-up the entire length of the bathroom mirror in literally 2 days - to the point where it was worse than it would've been if I'd left it 3 months without cleaning it! Unbelievable!

He wanted to eat out virtually every night, but the one night we stayed in and cooked for him he couldn't bring himself to thank me for the meal. Hubby and I both cooked it, but I did about two thirds of the cooking. My dad saw us both cooking. He said "Thank you _(husband)_ for cooking for me" - I said, "We both cooked actually," and he just gave me this stupid look. We went for a meal with my in-laws and he told them how my hubby had cooked for him. I corrected him again and his response was, "Well you never used to cook!" Oh right, so just because I didn't cook when I was younger means you can't acknowledge a meal I cooked for you now? Because I really don't get that "logic" whatsoever. It's just another example of him being rude.

The other thing he did while he was here was criticize virtually everything about my life. He would go on and on about how bored I must be not having a job (at that time, I legally couldn't work because I was waiting for my employment authorization from USCIS). When I pointed that out, he would get all stupid and ask me things like "Well how can you not be bored?!" (um, hello, I'm living on a different continent, it's not exactly boring! Besides, I knew I wouldn't be able to work for at least a few months after arriving, because that's how the system works with the visa I came on! No point getting my knickers in a twist about it when I had plenty of time to prepare myself mentally, right?!).
He would start arguments over the most ridiculous stuff, and he basically just wore away any good will I had. I try to be a good hostess when people visit, I really do. When you have someone like that staying with you, though, they wear you down. As a guest in someone's home, I would never dream of creating more work for them. I'd tidy up after myself and not burden them with things. I'd certainly never criticize the people I'm visiting or their lifestyles!
The breaking point for me was when he accused me of making no effort. That was just the straw that broke the camel's back, seriously. This came after I had:

1) Rented him DVDs that I'd already seen or had no interest in seeing, because he wanted to watch them (and would then fall asleep watching them)
2) Given him loads of ideas of places we could go (to which most were met with "not really interested" - give me something to work with! I told him it was his vacation, so he needed to give me some idea of what he wanted to do so I could find things he's interested in!)
3) Made him countless cups of tea
4) Waited in Starbucks for over an hour while he had a massage
5) Cleaned up after him constantly
6) Taken endless criticism from him
7) Done his damn laundry because he couldn't be bothered to bring anywhere near enough clothes for his trip
8) Let him make phone calls to the UK and also use my laptop
9) Listened to him trying to guilt me because I moved here

Yeah, no effort on my part whatsoever, right?! =/

So, it's needless to say I'm not exactly looking forward to his trip this time. I have a feeling he's going to completely ruin Christmas and New Year for us, and just generally be an ass like last time. He's most likely never going to change, I get that. Well, if he acts like a dick this time, I don't think we'll have him to stay here again. I don't care that we have a 4 bedroom house now, I don't want anyone staying here if they can't at least try to be good house guests. I don't expect people to be perfect, by any means - nobody is! But I do expect some courtesy from someone who's staying in our home. I don't want to be anyone's maid. I'm not going to made to feel like crap in my own home. My hubby's even said that if my dad talks to me like he did last time, he's going to have something to say about it. If my dad really wants to be a dick, then he can go stay in a hotel. I don't want it to come to that, but come on dude!

Ugh, I have to talk to him on Skype later today. I'm so not looking forward to it. It seems as though every week he springs something else on me, which pisses me off even more. I wonder what it'll be this time...

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