In a cart at Petsmart. We had all 4 dogs with us and it seemed like the logical solution. It really wasn't - Suzie jumped out about 20 seconds after I snapped this shot! Crazy pug... ;)
Friday, June 8, 2012
Our previous foster pugs
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| Foster #1: Cheko (5 years, rescued from a shelter) |
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| Cheko |
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| Foster #2: Max (2 years, surrendered by owner) |
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| Max |
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| Foster #3: Tien Ping (6 years, surrendered by owner) |
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| Tien Ping (we called him Ping Pug) |
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| Foster #4: Hudson (4 years, found as a stray) |
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| Hudson after his surgeries |
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| Hudson when he was recovered :) |
I loved all of these pugs so much, but Max was the hardest for me to let go. I formed such a bond with him, but I know he got a wonderful home with lovely people and that's what matters.
Cheko is now Mayhem (it's meant to be ironic, he's quiet and well-behaved!). Max is still Max! Tien Ping is now Ollie, and Hudson is now Wally.
I'm so happy we're able to foster and make a difference in the lives of these dogs. It's incredibly rewarding (and occasionally heartbreaking).
My fur-babies
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| Suzie & Gracie |
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| Suzie & Gracie |
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| Fosters Milo & Lilly |
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| Fosters Milo (front) & Lilly (back) |
Thursday, June 7, 2012
10 dpo (and it looks like I'm out)
Just like my last cycle, the spotting has started already. 10 dpo and spotting. Ugh!!! This really isn't a good sign at all; I'm 99% sure that this cycle is yet another failure. I know I'm technically not out until AF shows, but I feel as though this is it. I'm cramping as well as spotting, so it seems likely that I'm not going to be pregnant this time. I used to try to convince myself that spotting could be implantation bleeding, but after all this time I'm not able to do that anymore. I mean, who am I kidding?!
Last month I also started spotting at 10 dpo and my LP ended up being 12 days, a day shorter than usual. The same thing's happening this month with the spotting, so I guess my LP might be 12 days again.
I wonder why it has to be so hard for us to have a baby. Why us? I know there are many, many more people out there who are having a way harder time conceiving than we are, so I feel insensitive writing this. I just don't get it. We're doing everything in our power to make it happen, and it never does. I've been taking vitamins since before we started trying, temping since cycle 2, taking additional B-complex vitamins since cycle 3, taking Mucinex, using Pre-Seed... Even my gynecologist said we've been doing everything we possibly can. So why isn't it happening? We're not bad people - we don't do drugs, we're not criminals, we're not alcoholics, we definitely wouldn't abuse our kids. Why do we have to struggle with this while so many awful people get to reproduce without so much as a second thought? I know the world isn't fair, but this feels like a kick in the teeth. Every day there are news stories about so-called parents who starved their kids to death, beat them to death, tortured them, killed them... Yet they get to have kids? Really??
We have a great marriage, a lovely home and so much love to give. If I'd known when we bought this house that we'd still not be expecting after a year of TTC, I'd never have designated a "baby room". Of course there's nothing in there really, no baby stuff at least (we use it for random things) - but it's still the baby room. And we have no baby. The way things are going, we may never have one. That room is going to haunt me and I can't bring myself to do anything with it, just in case. I mean, if we furnish it and everything and then I got pregnant, it would have been a waste of time and money. So it sits virtually empty, save for a few bits and pieces that we store in there. I honestly don't know what I'd do with the room anyway - in my mind it's supposed to be a nursery. I'm starting to hate that room because of its emptiness.
I feel as though my tests will come back really bad. We know my husband's tests were all great - better than they should be. I just know there has to be something wrong with me, it doesn't make sense otherwise. I just want to get the damn HSG done, along with the glucose test, and find out if there's any hope of us conceiving naturally. If it turns out our only option is IVF, then it's game over. I don't have my blood test results, but I assume I'll get them when I go back for my follow-up appointment. I guess if there was something drastically wrong with those, they'd have called me by now.
We badly need this little vacation we're going on. It's only 3 nights but I feel as though it will do us the world of good. I really wish it could be a week or more, but that's not possible right now due to my hubby's work schedule. It'll be so nice to get away from everything, although I guess what I need to get away from the most is my thoughts. I wish I could shut the whole TTC/infertility thing off, and not think about it at all. That would be wonderful.
Last month I also started spotting at 10 dpo and my LP ended up being 12 days, a day shorter than usual. The same thing's happening this month with the spotting, so I guess my LP might be 12 days again.
I wonder why it has to be so hard for us to have a baby. Why us? I know there are many, many more people out there who are having a way harder time conceiving than we are, so I feel insensitive writing this. I just don't get it. We're doing everything in our power to make it happen, and it never does. I've been taking vitamins since before we started trying, temping since cycle 2, taking additional B-complex vitamins since cycle 3, taking Mucinex, using Pre-Seed... Even my gynecologist said we've been doing everything we possibly can. So why isn't it happening? We're not bad people - we don't do drugs, we're not criminals, we're not alcoholics, we definitely wouldn't abuse our kids. Why do we have to struggle with this while so many awful people get to reproduce without so much as a second thought? I know the world isn't fair, but this feels like a kick in the teeth. Every day there are news stories about so-called parents who starved their kids to death, beat them to death, tortured them, killed them... Yet they get to have kids? Really??
We have a great marriage, a lovely home and so much love to give. If I'd known when we bought this house that we'd still not be expecting after a year of TTC, I'd never have designated a "baby room". Of course there's nothing in there really, no baby stuff at least (we use it for random things) - but it's still the baby room. And we have no baby. The way things are going, we may never have one. That room is going to haunt me and I can't bring myself to do anything with it, just in case. I mean, if we furnish it and everything and then I got pregnant, it would have been a waste of time and money. So it sits virtually empty, save for a few bits and pieces that we store in there. I honestly don't know what I'd do with the room anyway - in my mind it's supposed to be a nursery. I'm starting to hate that room because of its emptiness.
I feel as though my tests will come back really bad. We know my husband's tests were all great - better than they should be. I just know there has to be something wrong with me, it doesn't make sense otherwise. I just want to get the damn HSG done, along with the glucose test, and find out if there's any hope of us conceiving naturally. If it turns out our only option is IVF, then it's game over. I don't have my blood test results, but I assume I'll get them when I go back for my follow-up appointment. I guess if there was something drastically wrong with those, they'd have called me by now.
We badly need this little vacation we're going on. It's only 3 nights but I feel as though it will do us the world of good. I really wish it could be a week or more, but that's not possible right now due to my hubby's work schedule. It'll be so nice to get away from everything, although I guess what I need to get away from the most is my thoughts. I wish I could shut the whole TTC/infertility thing off, and not think about it at all. That would be wonderful.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
9 dpo
I'm 9 dpo today and so far my chart looks pretty good. I'm not really expecting anything to happen, but it would be so awesome if I finally got pregnant!
In a few days it'll be exactly a year since we officially started trying for a baby. If I'm not pregnant this cycle, I'll be getting my HSG and glucose testing done early in my next cycle (I'm thinking probably CD8, which should be around 6/18). I could potentially schedule the testing for 6/15 but my periods are anything from 4 to 6 days long, and if CD1 is 6/11 that might be too soon. Then it's the weekend 6/16 and 6/17, so the gynecology office is closed. I guess 6/18 would be my best bet, unless of course my period comes early (which I really hope it doesn't, because I don't want to have a LP defect!).
We're still going to the gym regularly, but I think I've maybe pulled something in my right calf because my usual workout using the 'hill' setting on the treadmill has been causing me problems the last couple of times we've been. Normally I would do an hour on that setting and burn 500 calories, but Sunday I had to quit the treadmill after 25 minutes and switch to the bike, and yesterday I had to change the program to a less intense one. I stayed on the treadmill but only burned 380 calories. It's better than nothing but I found it kind of frustrating that I couldn't do the workout I wanted to do. Oh well!
In a few days it'll be exactly a year since we officially started trying for a baby. If I'm not pregnant this cycle, I'll be getting my HSG and glucose testing done early in my next cycle (I'm thinking probably CD8, which should be around 6/18). I could potentially schedule the testing for 6/15 but my periods are anything from 4 to 6 days long, and if CD1 is 6/11 that might be too soon. Then it's the weekend 6/16 and 6/17, so the gynecology office is closed. I guess 6/18 would be my best bet, unless of course my period comes early (which I really hope it doesn't, because I don't want to have a LP defect!).
We're still going to the gym regularly, but I think I've maybe pulled something in my right calf because my usual workout using the 'hill' setting on the treadmill has been causing me problems the last couple of times we've been. Normally I would do an hour on that setting and burn 500 calories, but Sunday I had to quit the treadmill after 25 minutes and switch to the bike, and yesterday I had to change the program to a less intense one. I stayed on the treadmill but only burned 380 calories. It's better than nothing but I found it kind of frustrating that I couldn't do the workout I wanted to do. Oh well!
Thursday, May 31, 2012
3 dpo
Yay, I did ovulate on CD18! I thought I had. The reason for the dotted lines is that I had partial ferning after ovulation. I thought that was weird too, but I don't want to take it off my chart because it did happen. Anyway, I'm happy that I ovulated! :)
This cycle should be about 31 days long, which means my period is due 6/11. That's awesome, because it means I'll be able to get the HSG etc. done before we go away (should be around the middle of June I can get that done).
Now if we could just be successful this time, I won't be needing that HSG after all... What are the chances?!
This cycle should be about 31 days long, which means my period is due 6/11. That's awesome, because it means I'll be able to get the HSG etc. done before we go away (should be around the middle of June I can get that done).
Now if we could just be successful this time, I won't be needing that HSG after all... What are the chances?!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
SA results
As far as I can tell, my hubby has above average swimmers! Here are some of the actual values:
All of his blood work came back great too, nothing abnormal there. What a relief! At the same time, it makes me think that my own results will be less than favorable... I mean, with swimmers like that, surely I should have gotten pregnant by now! I'm kinda worried about what they're going to find with my tests, but knowledge is power as they say.
In other news, I think I'm 2 dpo today. My temp stayed in the higher range this morning, so as long as it stays up there tomorrow my chart will confirm it :)
- Volume: 4.0 mL (normal range 2-10 mL)
- Concentration: 107 million per mL (high - normal range 20-100 million)
- Total motile: 287 million (high - normal range 20-100 million)
- Normal morphology: 38% (normal is 30% and above)
- Rapidly progressive: 48%
- Motility: 67% (normal range 50-100%)
- pH: 8.0 (normal range 7.2 to 10)
- Liquefaction time: 60 mins (normal range 0-60 mins)
- Viscosity: High (not sure if this is a problem, as it did liquefy just in the normal range)
All of his blood work came back great too, nothing abnormal there. What a relief! At the same time, it makes me think that my own results will be less than favorable... I mean, with swimmers like that, surely I should have gotten pregnant by now! I'm kinda worried about what they're going to find with my tests, but knowledge is power as they say.
In other news, I think I'm 2 dpo today. My temp stayed in the higher range this morning, so as long as it stays up there tomorrow my chart will confirm it :)
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