Monday, April 23, 2012

I have to move on

I've decided that I can't continue to dwell on my lack of pregnancy. I just can't keep on like this. I'm going to try to adopt the laid-back perspective of "if it happens, it happens". That's not to say that we won't continue to actively try; we will. I just can't focus on it so much any longer.

On one level I would like to quit charting, but I feel it would be a mistake to do so because if we do end up having to see any fertility specialists, it would surely be beneficial to be able to provide them with my charts. I also don't think I could handle the "not knowing" - whether I ovulated and if so, when; if my period is actually late or if I just ovulated late, etc. I have to keep it up because I think that stopping now would just bring even more uncertainty. I don't plan on charting forever, though. I think if nothing's happened by October (that will be 16 months of trying, and 16 months of charting - and hopefully 14 "normal" cycles because I've had 2 weird ones so far) then we will go and get checked out. If there's no problem found, then I don't know where we'll go from there. I might keep charting until it's been 2 years (that would be June 2014) and then just stop. I hope that we won't even get to the point of having to see a fertility doctor... but if we do, I hope all these charts will be useful.

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