Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Pregnancy news, but not mine of course

I just Skyped with my cousin and his wife, and they told me their news (that I already knew because our aunt told me last week). I think I did a fairly good job of concealing my feelings of sadness and I congratulated them with a smile on my face. I found it really hard when she was moaning about morning sickness, because although I'm sure it really does suck, I'd give anything to be pregnant. I'm not saying I'd love morning sickness, of course: just that I want to be pregnant more than anything in the world, and hearing pregnant women complain just kind of hurts. I know, everyone complains. She has every right to complain, I just don't want to hear it, you know? At least they didn't ask about when we're going to have a baby... I wasn't sure how to answer that one without putting some kind of damper on their announcement, you know? I guess "when the time's right" is a vague answer I could've used: it doesn't let on that we've been trying for almost a year with no success, or that I'm frustrated, sad and bitter about the whole thing. I'm still glad I didn't have to tell them anything, though.

Their baby is due October 17th, which is a couple of days after our second wedding anniversary. I can't help but wonder if I'll even be pregnant by then - if I'm not, we'll have been trying for 16 months with nothing to show for it. Damn, that's a depressing thought.

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