Thursday, April 12, 2012

Wow, today is crappy.

Today is a crappy way in these ways:
  1. My period arrived. I knew it was coming, but it always makes for a crappy day.
  2. My dad sent me a BS email, pretty much cutting me off.
  3. I called my Aunt and she told me one of my cousins and his wife are expecting again.
With regards to #3, I feel like a bad person for being upset over that. I am happy for them, but I'm also sad for myself. I'd never let on to them that I'm sad, when I speak to my cousin of course I'll be super nice and congratulatory, but I'm hurting inside. We've been trying for 10 months now with nothing to show for it, and it feels like everyone else is popping out babies left right and center. I know that's not necessarily true, but it's the way I feel. I think my hubby must think he married a crazy woman, I just keep crying. It's a culmination of all of the above points.

With regards to #2, that's just a load of craptastic BS. The general gist of it is that I didn't hear anything from my dad regarding Skype, so I didn't get on Skype yesterday. He apparently was expecting me to be on. He emailed me this yesterday:

Hi Emily
Tried to call at the usual time - maybe you've had to go out. Email and let me know when I can Skype.

I replied (4 minutes after he sent his email) with this:

Hi Dad,

I hadn't heard from you so didn't think we were going to Skype. I'm free now if you want to chat?


Em  xxx

I got on Skype, and he didn't. He also didn't reply to my email. Whatever, right? Wrong!

This morning I checked my email and found this:

Hi Emily
I'll not Skype again. If you want to keep in touch let's just email. I hope you and (hubby) have a great life together. I'm going to get on with mine.
Lots of love

He's a narcissist. What he's trying to do with this gem of an email is get me to grovel and beg for forgiveness, for whatever I've done "wrong" to him. Which, by the way, is nothing. If he wanted to Skype, why didn't he email me beforehand rather than just assuming I'd be on there? I don't think my (very prompt) reply was rude or anything - I stated that after not hearing from him, I didn't think we were going to Skype. I added that I was free to talk if he wanted to, and I got on Skype.

He chose to ignore my email: not my problem. He chose to be a childish brat: also not my problem. His email is very passive aggressive - basically "have a great life", which is something people say when they can't stand someone. I'm not going to rise to it, I haven't replied and I won't. I'm not going to dignify that BS with a response. I know what his problem is: I've grown a spine and stopped putting up with his crap. He can't handle that, because he's a narcissist and he wants a relationship on his terms only - basically, where he can treat me like crap and I just put up with it. It's no fun for him anymore because I don't engage him, therefore he's bored. He's clearly harboring resentment for me moving over here, which he's never hidden very well. He's a narcissist, so everything is always about him. Everything is always someone else's fault and not his. If he does something wrong, he won't admit to it. If he hurts someone, he expects them to sweep it under the rug and forget all about it right away. Yet, if someone wrongs him even in a tiny way, he'll hold a grudge forever. 

I'm so fucking done with him.

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