Well, crap!

I've been meaning to post pics of the crib, but we had a bit of a disaster at home and I hadn't gotten around to blogging. Our dishwasher leaked under our kitchen sink cabinets, and had probably been leaking for quite some time before we realized. We never had a pool of water on the floor or anything, so we only found out about the leak when my hubby noticed the wood beneath the cabinets was wet and discolored. Shit!

We had a plumber come out, who was pretty useless. He removed the bottom panel from the dishwasher but kept saying he thought it was the garbage disposal leaking, even though my hubby could clearly see water coming from the bottom of the dishwasher. He tried to pull the dishwasher out without unscrewing it from the counter (duh) and then gave up. He called a restoration company for us - this is about the only useful thing he did - and then left. He didn't bother to switch the valve or anything so that the water supply to the dishwasher was cut off. My hubby did that later that night when we realized it was still leaking - he also pulled the dishwasher out completely. The restoration company sent a guy out who had to smash the bottom of the cabinets because they were a lost cause, and then he set up 5 machines in our kitchen. We have a huge dehumidifier, 3 blowers and another (noisy ass) blower which generates heat. Our house has been around 80ºF since that one went in. Ugh. We could run the A/C but I expect we're using so much power at the moment that we should probably try to avoid using it if possible. The machines are supposed to be on 24/7 and they could be here until Wednesday or Thursday. Ugh! We have been switching off the super noisy one at night - we'd never get any sleep otherwise - but aside from that, the other 4 have been running all day and all night since dinner time on Saturday. It really sucks! For the most part my hubby has been hanging out in his office with headphones on, and I've been in the bedroom with the pugs. It's not exactly ideal! Our house is very open plan, so we can't just shut a door in the kitchen and block out the sound. The kitchen is right next to both of the living rooms, so we're avoiding the main part of the house. Right now I'm in the guest bedroom - I needed a change of scenery!

Thank goodness the equipment should be out before my mom and stepdad arrive (Friday) - and thankfully long before my baby shower, since that's being held at our house. So it could be worse, definitely. I'm glad it's happening before our little guy arrives, too. It would definitely be worse if we had to do this after he's born!

So here are a couple of pics of the crib, anyway:

I know we shouldn't leave toys in the crib due to SIDS risks, but I just put them in for the time being. We ordered a dresser for the nursery yesterday - it's being delivered next Tuesday, 2/26. :)

Here's a pic from Thursday, at exactly 27 weeks:

I had an OB appointment this morning, and had my 1 hour glucose test. My normally very good vein in my left arm was uncooperative, so I ended up with both arms being used (a yellow bandage on one, and a green bandage on the other, haha). I also got my Rhogam shot (in the ass - yay, LOL). My BP was high of course - no surprise there, since we're not exactly having a great time at home right now! I told my OB that whenever I take my BP at home, it's always fine (which is true). She told me to take it twice a day at home and call her if it goes to 140/90 or higher so I can get pre-eclampsia labs done. I'm pretty sure I'm fine, but I will do that and keep a log of my readings.

Some good news from my appointment is that I haven't gained any weight in the last 4 weeks. I think it's because we've been walking the pugs a lot more and eating more salads. I definitely haven't been starving myself, but I have been trying to make better food choices. Nothing was mentioned about my lack of weight gain over the past 4 weeks, so I'm pretty sure it's OK. Baby is very active and his heart-rate was good again today (I don't know what the reading was, but it sounded about the same as it usually does). In 2 days we get to see him again at our 3D ultrasound! We're very excited about that! :)  I actually suggested to my hubby that maybe we should cancel it, seeing as the kitchen disaster is costing quite a lot to fix and we have landscapers here today to sort out our mess of a front yard. He refused to consider canceling, which I'm very glad about because I didn't want to cancel it in the first place. I just feel bad that we're trying to save money in other ways and spending $150 on the 3D scan... And the money we're having to spend getting the kitchen sorted out would have paid for the rest of the baby stuff we need, with money left over. Typical! We'll be OK, it's just one of those things.

Oh, when we were at my appointment this morning my hubby got 2 calls from his parents on his cell phone (he didn't answer because we were busy). Um, great. For those of you who don't know, we don't have a relationship with his mom and haven't for almost 18 months now (long story short, she's off her rocker and in a cult-like religion which she repeatedly tried to force us into - wouldn't take "no" for an answer and eventually we just decided enough is enough). His dad has been very flaky - we don't actually have a problem with him, he's not like his wife, but the last time we saw him was December 2011 and then we heard from him January 2012, then nothing until July 2012! He said in July that he'd be calling "in a few weeks" (which would've been around the middle of August), and since then there's been nothing. No voicemail was left when they called today, which is kind of odd - it makes me think it might be his mom rather than his dad. They have no idea we're having a baby and we like it that way, honestly. I dread to think how his mom would act if she knew - she'd probably be bashing our front door down and trying to steal our baby. Seriously, she's not right in the head. I'm pretty sure if his dad was the one calling, he would've left a voicemail. I don't know what my hubby's going to do, it's super awkward of course and he doesn't want to call and have to speak to that crazy woman. If his dad left a voicemail then he would have called back, but the whole thing just seems kind of shady really.

I'm sure this whole thing isn't really helping my BP today!

FIL update

The general gist of last night's phone call with FIL went something like this:

FIL got sick in January, with some respiratory thing which he's had before and the doctors have been unable to diagnose. He's been in and out of hospital and he's been tested for a whole host of diseases, but the doctors are baffled by what it is [I did ask my hubby if he believes this, because I'm a bitch I doubted the story for a moment, but he said there's no way he'd lie about that and that the last time he was sick like this (many years ago) it was pretty bad.]

Apparently the doctors advised him to avoid animals because they don't know what's causing his illness, so that's why he hasn't been over here. He apologized for not getting in touch but said he's been pretty out of it. He thinks he's on the mend and that he'll be better in a few weeks. Oh, and he's getting a needle biopsy done on Monday to check a nodule they found in his lung (but he had the same thing last time he was sick, and it wasn't cancer, so he's not really worried about that.)

FIL asked to speak to me, so we talked for a little while and he also apologized to me for not keeping in touch. Honestly, if he's been as sick as he says we're not going to hold that against him. Before we knew, yeah, we were pretty pissed that he didn't bother to keep in touch. But now? No.

I think the hardest thing for my hubby to process in all of this is this simple fact: BIL never once got in touch to tell us that FIL was so sick. We never had a falling out with BIL; in fact, he used to come over every other Saturday for dinner at our place, until he started messing us around and not letting us know when he wasn't coming (then we stopped inviting him because we were tired of it). We haven't seen him since January and haven't heard from him since February. After everything that happened with MIL, we both figured that both FIL and BIL were taking the easy road by siding with her, and not pursuing a relationship with us. MIL is very manipulative and let's face it, FIL has to live with her and BIL, well he's honestly a freaking momma's boy.

A couple of months ago I decided to unfriend BIL on Facebook, because he has plenty of other ways to get in touch and obviously can't be bothered to do so, and I didn't see the point of keeping him on there. I also deleted SIL, whom I've never met (she lives on the other side of the country) because she's an attention-seeker and only ever gets in touch when she wants something (which is usually something completely unreasonable!). I know it sounds paranoid, but I thought if I kept them on my friends list they could/would be passing info to MIL and FIL (MIL is BSC, and we thought FIL wasn't interested in having a relationship with us).

Now obviously, given the situation with MIL, we didn't expect her to let us know about FIL. We did tell her not to contact us, after all. But BIL? I really think he could have at least sent my hubby a text or something. FIL thought BIL had let us know, but like I said we haven't heard a thing from him in almost 6 months and he's certainly never said anything about FIL being sick. I don't know why he would keep that from us. 

Before New Years, we were the ones making all the effort to contact BIL and FIL, and we got tired of that so we stopped. When neither of them made any effort to get in touch with us, we just assumed they weren't that fussed about us. If things were different with MIL, then obviously we would've known about all of this and it wouldn't be an issue. The thing is, we were confused because both FIL and BIL told us they agreed with us regarding the MIL situation. It was really odd when they both dropped off the radar, so to speak, but we just figured they were bullshitting us about that. We both agreed that we wouldn't be forced into having a relationship with crazy MIL, so if they were going to make us choose then they would end up being collateral.

The phone call last night changes everything - at least as far as FIL is concerned. For the past 6 or 7 months now we've been thinking he'd cut us off, and now we know he was really ill we feel bad because had we known, we would have been there for him as much as possible. I'm glad he called, but at the same time it's kind of difficult to process everything. I think my hubby is going to call BIL and let him know he should have told us FIL was sick. It's not like we had a problem with FIL - or BIL - they just seemed to not be interested in pursuing a relationship, so we thought that was that really. Like my hubby told FIL last night, he wasn't going to beg BIL to come over! He abused our generosity by messing us around and not having the decency to let us know when he wasn't coming over as planned, and then expected us to just accommodate whatever new visiting schedule he had in mind (and that didn't work for us). Then we heard nothing. I just find it to be horrible that BIL couldn't even spare a minute to let my hubby know their dad was seriously ill. I mean, really?

This whole thing is just one big mess. My hubby and I had a long talk last night, and I told him that if he wants to resume contact with MIL I'm not going to stop him. I won't be involved, though, and she's not to set foot in our house, ever. We both agree that if we ever do manage to have kids, she won't have anything to do with them (she's already told us she would brainwash them and all that, so no thank you).

Hubby said he doesn't see how he could have anything resembling a normal relationship with her after everything she's done - he said it doesn't matter what boundaries we set, she won't respect them (she's proved that before). We both fully agree that she won't drop the religion thing, because she's too far indoctrinated to let that go. She can't just "agree to disagree", she can't leave it alone - she's not happy unless she's bullying us to join her cult. It's never going to happen, of course, but it's kind of a big thing for us to just ignore. Each incident has been worse than the last, so expecting things to magically change is completely unrealistic; it would probably make us almost as deluded as she is.

As I wrote last night, as long as FIL doesn't try to push a relationship with MIL, I think everything will be OK with him. I don't know about the BIL thing, though. We're pretty pissed that he didn't let us know about FIL being sick - it's not like FIL didn't want us to know, after all.

Why do families have to be so crappy?!

Here we go again...

Just when we figured we'd heard the last from my in-laws, the phone rang tonight. Thank goodness we recently got caller ID, so we didn't pick up. We listened to the voicemail, and it was my FIL. He hasn't been in contact with us in more than 6 months, and we haven't seen him since before New Year. We figured he was collateral damage from the cut-off of crazy MIL. Anyway, he said he's been sick and that's why he hasn't been in touch. My hubby is on the phone with him right now (I told him he'd be better off calling him now when we know he's home, rather than risk having MIL answer the phone.)

I think my hubby is having a hard time with this - after this long, we weren't expecting a call. I'm not sure what the next step is, but it isn't FIL we really have a problem with so maybe things can pick up where they left off with him. As long as he doesn't start pushing for us to resume contact with BSC MIL, we should be good.

3 posts in 1

Part 1: Infertility Stuff

Today is CD10 and I had a temp rise of 0.6 this morning. I'm 99% sure that I did not ovulate yesterday - I've never ovulated before CD17 in all the time we've been TTC. My cervix was high yesterday but I didn't have fertile CM. I guess something's going on with my temps; it's weird, but whatever.

I must admit I'm getting to the point where I'm just so tired of TTC. I'm annoyed that it took over my life for more than a year. I'm annoyed that after extensive testing, we still have no answers. I'm annoyed that our insurance, which is supposed to cover infertility testing, has denied all of my claims - all of my bloodwork, my HSG, and even my pap smear (which you're allowed to have once a year and is supposed to be 100% covered). WTF?! So now we have to get in touch with them to sort that out, which is adding insult to injury. We checked our coverage before we had any testing done, to make sure we knew where we stood. They covered my husband's testing (which was also for infertility) but they won't cover mine? We're on the same freaking policy, with the same coverage! We're not paying for it when it says in black and white that infertility testing (and corrective surgery) is covered fully. I'm sure it'll be an uphill battle to get our insurance company to cover what they're supposed to cover. I'm going to let my husband deal with them, because I know I'll get really pissed off if I have to call them myself. He'll probably be able to keep his cool better!

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Part 2: Family Drama Stuff

I finally bit the bullet and called my grandma last week. I hadn't spoken to her since before all the crappy drama with my dad (which happened mid-April). After hearing from my aunt that he was "broken-hearted" that I didn't send him a birthday card, I figured he would've already lied to my grandma about me. It was kind of awkward calling her, but I'm glad I did.

I wasn't planning to mention any of the stuff that happened, but she asked what was going on so I set her straight. She was genuinely shocked when I told her how he's treated me, and I said that I've had enough and I will not be apologizing for anything (since this is all on him). If I'd done something I would own it, but I did nothing and I'm not feeding his ego by groveling and begging forgiveness when I've done nothing wrong.

She said she would like it if we made up, but I told her in order for that to happen he would have to sincerely apologize and back his apology up with actions. Actions speak louder than words, and his actions let me know he doesn't give a damn about me. She told me that he said the email he sent me was perfectly nice, and that I couldn't possibly have taken offense. I couldn't help but laugh at that! My grandma agreed with me that what he wrote was definitely not nice, and apparently she told him that a long time ago. Even my friend who usually says stuff like "but he's family!" is pissed at him over that email and the way he's acted. He knows he's in the wrong, but he'll never admit it. That's OK - I'm fine without him. At this point, I'm protecting myself by completely disengaging. It says a lot that after more than 3 months of no contact, the only time he was upset about it was his damn birthday! He doesn't know (or care) what's going on in my life, he doesn't even know if I'm alive, but the big thing is that he didn't get a card and gift from me (after treating me like shit). Textbook Narcissist, seriously. He hasn't attempted to contact me since that nasty email in April. Good riddance!

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Part 3: Everything Else

We've had a busy time with the pugs recently. Gracie lost a tooth on Friday, which wouldn't normally be too much cause for concern with a pug, but the root was horrible and dead-looking (even though the crown was white and healthy-looking). She had a dental cleaning at the vet yesterday, and had 2 other front teeth removed. I'm sure she feels better now that the bad teeth are gone!

Our foster, Milo, was diagnosed with bladder stones on Friday. He's having surgery on Thursday to remove them. Poor little guy! He's about 9 years old so I'm a little worried about him, but he had a dental a few months ago and didn't have any problems with the anesthetic, so hopefully he will be perfectly fine.

On Saturday we had a pug rescue event and 3 pugs found their new homes, which is awesome! After that my hubby took me out for lunch, and then I got my hair cut (which I've been meaning to do for a while). I was sick of my long hair, so I had the hairdresser chop off about half of it. It's a drastic change, but I love it! I haven't had my hair this short since about 9 or 10 years ago, and it feels good. It's not super short - it's just above my shoulders. It feels so much better though, especially in the summer heat! My hubby really likes it, but he was pretty surprised when he picked me up! :)

I spent most of yesterday thoroughly cleaning the house, doing lots of laundry and baking bread. It was a welcome distraction from everything - not just infertility, but also my pug-baby having her dental cleaning! My worries about her weren't completely unfounded - apparently it took her a while to come around from the anesthetic, which is common in brachycephalic (short-nosed) breeds, but I'm glad she's perfectly fine. She did need the dental, so it was a justified risk.

As far as distractions go, I want to do some more sewing but I don't know what to make. I also want to do some crochet, which I haven't done since before Christmas. I need to get back into it because it keeps me busy and I like being productive! I love to make things I can be proud of. Of course, making a baby would be the ultimate production, but who knows if that's in our future. Sometimes I think we should just stop trying and save ourselves the heartache of failure.

Attack of the flying monkeys!

I don't know if anyone remembers or not, but back in April things finally came to a head with my dad. He's a textbook Narcissist, and things had been getting progressively worse with him for a long time. The straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak, was when he got super pissed with me for not showing up on Skype when we hadn't arranged to talk. Yes, you read that right: no plans had been made to talk, and I didn't get on Skype. That was my 'offense'. Hmmm. He sent me a crappy email, and I responded (quickly) that I didn't think we were talking that day but would get on Skype right away. He didn't log on at all, I waited for about 20 minutes. He also didn't reply to my email. Whatever, I figured he'd get over himself. Wrong! The next morning I had a nasty email waiting for me, saying that he won't talk to me on Skype anymore and if I want to keep in touch we can just email. Then he said "I hope you have a great life with (husband). I'm going to get on with mine". This all happened April 12th - I remember the date because it just so happened to be CD1 for me (just what I needed that day, obviously!).

Fast forward to Sunday - it was Father's Day. Given that I no longer have a relationship with my dad, I didn't acknowledge the day by sending him a card or anything. I didn't email either - why would I, when he evidently doesn't care about his own daughter enough to grow up and act like a reasonable adult? I kind of expected some fall-out from that, but nothing happened. Yet I wasn't out of the danger period: today is his birthday. Again, I didn't acknowledge it. I went about my day, cleaned the bathrooms, got on Facebook for a minute and there it was: a message from my aunt (dad's sister). Now before I post it here, I just want to say that I'm not close with my aunt at all - I hardly ever hear from her, I send Christmas cards and don't get one from her, etc. Not close, and not in frequent contact. I couldn't even guess when the last contact with her was, prior to today. Here it is (I edited spelling and grammar to make it more coherent!):

Hi Emily, hope you're all well. Just letting you know it's your dads birthday today, he's broken hearted he hasn't heard from you. :(  I'm sure you forgot x speak soon love (aunt)


I have to admit, seeing this message made my heart pound and my hands shake. I don't know what it was - anger, adrenaline? I don't like the effect it had on me, though.

I wrote back:

Hi (aunt), how are you? I'm not being funny but did my dad tell you what our last communication was? He effectively told me he wants nothing to do with me anymore. That was on April 12th. That's why I didn't contact him.
Love,
Em xx


She replied:


No Emily, I haven't spoken to him about you love, was just asking about you when I wished him happy birthday. I thought you had forgot, sorry x


I didn't want her to be upset so I elaborated a little:

It's OK, not your fault. I knew he'd find a way to get to me. Why does he do this? He told me in his last email (which was really nasty, by the way) "I hope you have a great life with Shawn, I'm going to get on with mine". Sounded pretty final to me. I don't want to sound like a heartless bitch, but he hasn't exactly been there for me since I moved here and he thinks I'm supposed to bend over backwards for him on his birthday when he sent me that crap? :(


She then sent me this:

I didn't know about this, please don't say anything, he didn't know I was talking to you. Try and put the past behind you, life's too short. Look at my dad, he died at 57. Sorry I upset you love x 


I just love how I'm supposed to somehow "fix" this messed up situation, when my dad is the one who completely lost it over nothing! Yeah, I just need to go and beg his forgiveness (for what?!) and let him treat me like crap again. Because, you know, life is too short.

Yes, I decided life was indeed too short and that's why I chose to disengage from the craziness. I can't deal with my dad throwing a temper tantrum over nothing - I'm sorry, but he's not a toddler. He hasn't been in touch since he sent that horrible email, and now he's telling his sob story to anyone who will listen? Really? Isn't it funny how he didn't mention the reason why he didn't hear from me?! Yeah, he just wants to make me out to be the bad guy.

I really didn't appreciate that final little guilt trip from my aunt. I think it was a low blow, honestly. My dad obviously doesn't care about me, or how I'm doing. It's been more than 2 months since I heard from him after his hissy fit. In fact, I just checked the calendar and it's been 10 weeks. I remember when I spoke to my mom recently, and I said I thought something would happen because of Father's Day and my dad's birthday. I didn't expect it to come from my aunt, though! As I said, I never hear from her at all.

Well, I haven't replied to her last message and I don't think I will. I don't know why she's worried that I'll tell my dad what she said - if she read my first message properly she'd know there's no chance of that happening. Let her think what she wants. I was tempted to block and delete her on Facebook, but so far I've just made it so she can't see what I post from now on (statuses and photos).

It makes me wonder what my dad's been telling my grandma. I'll admit that I haven't called her since all of this happened. I've wanted to call in a way, but I also don't know what I'm going to say if she brings this situation up with me. I guess since he whined about it to his sister, he's probably told my grandma even more. He's not exactly close to his sister, he talks to my grandma more. At this point it doesn't even matter to me if they "take sides" because they've never exactly been very present in my life. If I didn't call my grandma we'd never speak. Even when I lived in the UK, she never called me. I guess what I'm saying is that it doesn't make much of a difference to me if we talk or not. I know whatever I tell my grandma would get back to my dad, though, so maybe that's a good enough reason not to call.

Why do families have to be so crappy? As if we don't already have enough issues with my in-laws! I guess we must have done something terrible in a past life or something! At this point, the only parent we have between us is my mom. My in-laws aren't good people and my dad isn't either. We'll be OK, though, because we have each other. I guess the only consolation that it's taking us so long to have a baby is that by the time it happens, all the toxic people will be long gone from our lives. At least our future children (if we have any) won't have to deal with these crazy freaks.

Cool pics!

This morning I thought it might be interesting to take some photos of my saliva microscope results. I know, I'm a complete nerd! Anyway, here they are. If you look very closely you can see some small areas of ferning (they're in the red ovals). I took the photos with my phone camera so the ferns are hard to see, and most of the sample has no ferning. I recorded it as partial ferning after consulting some websites. I'm only on CD7 so I won't be ovulating for quite some time yet, but I find the microscope interesting!

I should charge my camera and see if I can get better photos!

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I'm quite excited today, because it's been confirmed that I will be in charge of the new pug rescue event I wrote about yesterday! Yay! I called the store manager this morning to schedule the first three events. [This will sound so bizarre, but I really hate calling people I don't know! Since I moved here I've had this silly hang-up about using the phone, because of my accent and I guess I'm worried I won't be able to make myself understood! Anyway, the call went well - I really need to get over the whole phone thing, I never had a problem in England!] The first event will be 7/15. That will give me some time to gather up everything I'll need. I've been making lists of things I need to have, since I seem to love writing lists. I guess I really am a nerd! Anyway, it's an exciting opportunity for me to become more involved in the pug rescue organization. I'm sure it'll be quite a lot of work, but I'm really looking forward to it!  :)

In other news, I decided to ignore my SIL with the Facebook thing. I don't need any drama, and I can't see a way of responding without some kind of drama ensuing. If she wants to get in touch with my husband (her half-brother) then she can email or call him. I don't need to be her go-between!

We're going to the gym again today. We went yesterday and I pushed myself much harder than usual. For some reason I don't like the elliptical trainer (whenever I use it my legs end up being like jelly!). Since we started going to the gym, about 6 weeks ago, I've used it all of one time and that was for only 10 minutes! Well, yesterday I did 20 minutes on the treadmill (walking fast on an incline), then 45 minutes on the elliptical. Granted, I had it set on a relatively easy setting, but it was still an achievement for me! I burned 545 calories in total, so it was a pretty good workout. I wish I could run on the treadmill but I find it hard, and if I was going to run I'd definitely need a better sports bra...

Oh boy...

I got done writing my last blog post, then went to Facebook. I have a friend request and a message from my husband's half-sister. I used to be "friends" with her but since we don't have a relationship with my in-laws, and my sister-in-law never contacts us unless she wants something (like last year, when she tried to guilt me into going to her daughter's high school graduation, 2200 miles away in Florida!) I decided to unfriend her. I also unfriended every member of my husband's family - simply because I've never actually met any of them, they never get in touch with us and honestly, I don't want them seeing anything I post on Facebook and telling my in-laws!

I unfriended my husband's brother, who was our best man at our wedding, because evidently he's chosen to side with my in-laws (his parents) even though he told us he agreed with us about the whole situation. We haven't seen him in 5 months and haven't heard from him either. This is the guy who used to come over for dinner every other week. The way I see it, if he can't be bothered to keep in touch with his own brother that's not my problem. I'm no longer the social secretary in this family - if my BIL wants to get in touch, he has our phone numbers. He could email my husband. He knows where we live. Facebook wasn't (and still isn't) the only way he can get in touch. My husband had no problem with me unfriending his family, because he feels the same way I do. I'd already had to 'hide' my SIL's posts long ago, because she posts like 14 times a day (seriously!) and I was fed up of my newsfeed being full of her nonsense! Oh and she called my pugs ugly, LOL. What it really came down to though, was knowing that whatever she saw on Facebook would likely end up getting back to my in-laws. I don't post anything really personal, but still...

So, today she messaged me this: "Did you unfriend me? :( "  and requested me as a friend. What do I do? Part of me wants to say "I guess I did!" and leave it at that. Is that evil?! LOL. Another part of me wants to just ignore it. Another part of me wants to say "I cleared out my friend list and only kept those people I actually keep in touch with!"
I don't want to get into the whole thing about us not having anything to do with my in-laws and that she's collateral. I don't know for a fact that she knows about all that, but I assume she probably does. It doesn't matter either way, we have our reasons to stay away from them.

In a nutshell, the reason we don't have anything to do with my in-laws is because my MIL decided to try and force me into going to her 'bible study' classes (she's a Jehovah's Witness) and she wouldn't take no for an answer. She then proceeded to tell us that when we have kids, she will teach them (read: brainwash them) about her religion, because that's her right as grandma, and her religion is her life. She openly mocked us for not believing what she believes, and tried to challenge us about our beliefs. This all happened 2 weeks after we bought and moved into our first house, back in September. There were other things she did which were total "WTF" moments, and looking back there were many times when she was highly manipulative (she even tried to break us up when we got together), but the religion thing was the straw that broke the camel's back. It was also the second big religion issue we'd had with her in the space of 5 months. Believe me, she had it coming to her and our lives are so much better without her. I know that sounds awful, but she's so delusional and she thinks she rules the roost - our opinions as adults and parents (in the situation described) mean nothing. All she kept saying when we told her there was no way she'd be "teaching" our kids anything about religion was "but I'll be the grandma!" - which in her stupid little mind trumps us as the parents. Yeah, right. Plus, this happened without her even knowing we were TTC - if she's that crazy about grandchildren that have yet to even be conceived, how much of a psycho would she be if we actually were having a baby?! It actually scares me.

Anyway we didn't cut off my FIL because he didn't agree with what she did that night, but he seems to have cut us off (which is fine - he and MIL were very abusive to my husband when he was growing up, and honestly if I never see them again it'll be too soon). My husband hasn't seen his half-sister since about 22 years ago, and the only time she's contacted him directly was to ask him if she could use his employee discount to get a deal on something she was buying (of course he said no, and he never heard from her again. I guess he was supposed to risk losing his job for her - how entitled is she?!)

So, what would you do? Ignore her message or send something back? I won't be adding her as a friend again, and I doubt I'll ever meet her (as I said, my husband hasn't seen her in more than 2 decades and she lives on the other side of the country). It doesn't matter if she's pissed at me! She probably just wants to be nosy and try to get gossip for my in-laws (it took her about 6 weeks to notice I unfriended her, haha).

I shouldn't even give this any headspace, should I?

Wow, today is crappy.

Today is a crappy way in these ways:

1. My period arrived. I knew it was coming, but it always makes for a crappy day.
2. My dad sent me a BS email, pretty much cutting me off.
3. I called my Aunt and she told me one of my cousins and his wife are expecting again.

With regards to #3, I feel like a bad person for being upset over that. I am happy for them, but I'm also sad for myself. I'd never let on to them that I'm sad, when I speak to my cousin of course I'll be super nice and congratulatory, but I'm hurting inside. We've been trying for 10 months now with nothing to show for it, and it feels like everyone else is popping out babies left right and center. I know that's not necessarily true, but it's the way I feel. I think my hubby must think he married a crazy woman, I just keep crying. It's a culmination of all of the above points.

With regards to #2, that's just a load of craptastic BS. The general gist of it is that I didn't hear anything from my dad regarding Skype, so I didn't get on Skype yesterday. He apparently was expecting me to be on. He emailed me this yesterday:

Hi Emily

Tried to call at the usual time - maybe you've had to go out. Email and let me know when I can Skype.

Love

Dad

xxx

I replied (4 minutes after he sent his email) with this:

Hi Dad,

I hadn't heard from you so didn't think we were going to Skype. I'm free now if you want to chat?

Love,

Em  xxx

I got on Skype, and he didn't. He also didn't reply to my email. Whatever, right? Wrong!


This morning I checked my email and found this:

Hi Emily

I'll not Skype again. If you want to keep in touch let's just email. I hope you and (hubby) have a great life together. I'm going to get on with mine.

Lots of love

Dad

xxx

He's a narcissist. What he's trying to do with this gem of an email is get me to grovel and beg for forgiveness, for whatever I've done "wrong" to him. Which, by the way, is nothing. If he wanted to Skype, why didn't he email me beforehand rather than just assuming I'd be on there? I don't think my (very prompt) reply was rude or anything - I stated that after not hearing from him, I didn't think we were going to Skype. I added that I was free to talk if he wanted to, and I got on Skype.

He chose to ignore my email: not my problem. He chose to be a childish brat: also not my problem. His email is very passive aggressive - basically "have a great life", which is something people say when they can't stand someone. I'm not going to rise to it, I haven't replied and I won't. I'm not going to dignify that BS with a response. I know what his problem is: I've grown a spine and stopped putting up with his crap. He can't handle that, because he's a narcissist and he wants a relationship on his terms only - basically, where he can treat me like crap and I just put up with it. It's no fun for him anymore because I don't engage him, therefore he's bored. He's clearly harboring resentment for me moving over here, which he's never hidden very well. He's a narcissist, so everything is always about him. Everything is always someone else's fault and not his. If he does something wrong, he won't admit to it. If he hurts someone, he expects them to sweep it under the rug and forget all about it right away. Yet, if someone wrongs him even in a tiny way, he'll hold a grudge forever. 

I'm so fucking done with him.