I got done writing my last blog post, then went to Facebook. I have a friend request and a message from my husband's half-sister. I used to be "friends" with her but since we don't have a relationship with my in-laws, and my sister-in-law never contacts us unless she wants something (like last year, when she tried to guilt me into going to her daughter's high school graduation, 2200 miles away in Florida!) I decided to unfriend her. I also unfriended every member of my husband's family - simply because I've never actually met any of them, they never get in touch with us and honestly, I don't want them seeing anything I post on Facebook and telling my in-laws!
I unfriended my husband's brother, who was our best man at our wedding, because evidently he's chosen to side with my in-laws (his parents) even though he told us he agreed with us about the whole situation. We haven't seen him in 5 months and haven't heard from him either. This is the guy who used to come over for dinner every other week. The way I see it, if he can't be bothered to keep in touch with his own brother that's not my problem. I'm no longer the social secretary in this family - if my BIL wants to get in touch, he has our phone numbers. He could email my husband. He knows where we live. Facebook wasn't (and still isn't) the only way he can get in touch. My husband had no problem with me unfriending his family, because he feels the same way I do. I'd already had to 'hide' my SIL's posts long ago, because she posts like 14 times a day (seriously!) and I was fed up of my newsfeed being full of her nonsense! Oh and she called my pugs ugly, LOL. What it really came down to though, was knowing that whatever she saw on Facebook would likely end up getting back to my in-laws. I don't post anything really personal, but still...
So, today she messaged me this: "Did you unfriend me? :( " and requested me as a friend. What do I do? Part of me wants to say "I guess I did!" and leave it at that. Is that evil?! LOL. Another part of me wants to just ignore it. Another part of me wants to say "I cleared out my friend list and only kept those people I actually keep in touch with!"
I don't want to get into the whole thing about us not having anything to do with my in-laws and that she's collateral. I don't know for a fact that she knows about all that, but I assume she probably does. It doesn't matter either way, we have our reasons to stay away from them.
In a nutshell, the reason we don't have anything to do with my in-laws is because my MIL decided to try and force me into going to her 'bible study' classes (she's a Jehovah's Witness) and she wouldn't take no for an answer. She then proceeded to tell us that when we have kids, she will teach them (read: brainwash them) about her religion, because that's her right as grandma, and her religion is her life. She openly mocked us for not believing what she believes, and tried to challenge us about our beliefs. This all happened 2 weeks after we bought and moved into our first house, back in September. There were other things she did which were total "WTF" moments, and looking back there were many times when she was highly manipulative (she even tried to break us up when we got together), but the religion thing was the straw that broke the camel's back. It was also the second big religion issue we'd had with her in the space of 5 months. Believe me, she had it coming to her and our lives are so much better without her. I know that sounds awful, but she's so delusional and she thinks she rules the roost - our opinions as adults and parents (in the situation described) mean nothing. All she kept saying when we told her there was no way she'd be "teaching" our kids anything about religion was "but I'll be the grandma!" - which in her stupid little mind trumps us as the parents. Yeah, right. Plus, this happened without her even knowing we were TTC - if she's that crazy about grandchildren that have yet to even be conceived, how much of a psycho would she be if we actually were having a baby?! It actually scares me.
Anyway we didn't cut off my FIL because he didn't agree with what she did that night, but he seems to have cut us off (which is fine - he and MIL were very abusive to my husband when he was growing up, and honestly if I never see them again it'll be too soon). My husband hasn't seen his half-sister since about 22 years ago, and the only time she's contacted him directly was to ask him if she could use his employee discount to get a deal on something she was buying (of course he said no, and he never heard from her again. I guess he was supposed to risk losing his job for her - how entitled is she?!)
So, what would you do? Ignore her message or send something back? I won't be adding her as a friend again, and I doubt I'll ever meet her (as I said, my husband hasn't seen her in more than 2 decades and she lives on the other side of the country). It doesn't matter if she's pissed at me! She probably just wants to be nosy and try to get gossip for my in-laws (it took her about 6 weeks to notice I unfriended her, haha).
I shouldn't even give this any headspace, should I?