A jumbled post

My husband had the day off yesterday, so we ended up going to the shooting range. I thought that I'd feel better if I shot at stuff, but it didn't work. I ended up letting him do most of the shooting. In all honesty, the shooting range isn't my favorite place. I'm from the UK and the culture regarding guns is completely different! When we went to buy the guns a few months ago, I felt like a criminal! LOL. Anyway, I assigned the red circle as 'infertility' - which I guess is why I hit it so many times! The red circle seemed to be the most appropriate for some reason. I don't know what the blue square was supposed to represent, but whatever it was it obviously didn't make me angry enough, haha.

One thing did make me feel better yesterday, though: we went out for an awesome Indian meal. It was the best Indian food I've had since I moved here, almost 2 years ago. I can't wait to go back there again! It was so nice to go out and just have a great evening together. I can't wait until our little vacation, when we can have 3 nights like that and 4 days relaxing by the pool (or in the pool, since it's been around 107º here lately). At least it's a dry heat... haha. It's better than having the same temp with humidity, of course, but it's still freaking hot! 

We got our security door installed this morning. We ordered it right after someone tried to break into our next door neighbor's house, about a month ago. It's for security first and foremost, of course, but it's also going to have lots of practical uses. We'll be able to *gasp* answer the door without first having to round up 4 crazy pugs, or worrying about them running out into the street. That will be awesome! Also, when it gets cooler (in about 5 months probably) we'll be able to have the front door open and air the house out. Before the security door, we could only open the back door to let air in which didn't do a whole lot. Now we can have both doors open, with air flowing through nicely, and the pugs will still be contained in the house. 

Another little bit of news is that I might be getting my own adoption event for the pug rescue group I volunteer with. Nothing is set in stone yet, but there's a possibility of adding another event to our schedule and they need someone to run it. I said I would be happy to, and I have the support of a few of the other volunteers. We'll see what happens, anyway! I'm quite excited about it, but I don't want to get ahead of myself. It would be for a few hours one Sunday per month, at a big pet store. I think I could do a good job, and it'll give me something else to focus on rather than everything I've been dwelling on recently.

I'm going out for lunch on Tuesday with one of the ladies I volunteer with. She's much older than me (she has a granddaughter who just graduated from high school!) but we get along really well. She's a lot of fun, despite our huge age difference. When I bake bread I make her a loaf and she can't get enough of that stuff! She's kind of like the grandma I never had, I guess. I had 2 grandmas and still have 1, but we were never close in any sense of the term. We never lived near either of them and I didn't see them often enough to be close to them. Anyway, Tuesday will be nice! It's something to look forward to immediately after Monday, too. 

I think I'll be really glad when my testing has been done, whatever the results. On the one hand if the results are fine, then we'll have hope. Maybe if everything is fine I'll be able to relax more about everything (not that I buy into the "relax!" stuff!). If the results are bad, then we'll have to reevaluate. I'm really hoping that if there is a blockage in my tubes, it won't be bad and it'll be cleared by the HSG. I'm a little concerned about the glucose testing, as I do have some symptoms that could point to PCOS. I guess it's better to know if there's something wrong than to be ignorant, though. I'd hate to have to take medication, but if it's necessary then I will. 

I think that knowing everything came back great with my husband's testing has made me worry more than I would have done had we not known his results. I don't know if that made any sense... What I mean is, if he hadn't gotten tested already maybe I'd be less worried about my own results, because there would be a chance that his results might not be great. As it is, though, everything's awesome with him so if there's a problem is has to be with me. That's what's making me dread all of this. The actual tests themselves don't worry me much, but the results do. If something is wrong then I really hope it's something that can be corrected easily.

I keep trying to convince myself that if we can't have kids, it won't be the end of the world. It's not working, though. I think it would be the end of my world, at least. Hopefully not forever though.