The blog

I find myself unsure of what to do with the blog. It started out as a TTC blog, then became an IF blog, and now..? Since most (if not all) of my followers are battling IF, it seems somehow wrong to turn this place into a pregnancy blog. I know how much some of your comments have helped me through the hard times, and I really don't want to alienate any of you. Maybe I should create a separate page for pregnancy updates. 

12 dpo and more tests!

This morning I tested again - not because I didn't believe the 3 tests I took yesterday, but because I wanted to see if the lines would get darker. I didn't know if they would or not, since it was a little under 24 hours since the first tests, but I figured I'd give it a shot as a little experiment! Well, today's Wondfo and FRER were definitely darker than yesterday's.

Then I got a crazy idea to use a digital test (I picked some up last night). I didn't really expect that one to come up positive because I've heard they're less sensitive than the line tests, so you can imagine my surprise when the word "Pregnant" popped up within about a minute! That made my day, really. I don't know why, but seeing the word seemed to make it feel more real somehow. I know that sounds nuts, and it probably is! :)

I'm looking forward to my first appointment on Monday. My OB is really nice, I like her. When we went to get the results from our infertility testing back in June, she said she wouldn't be surprised if I was pregnant by Christmas. I totally didn't believe her then, but she was right! If we're lucky and everything goes well, I'll be about 19 weeks at Christmas. We might know the gender by then!

This is all so surreal. Yesterday I felt like I was dreaming and would wake up to realize none of this happened. When I woke up this morning, it had sunk in a little more. It's hard to wrap my head around it after all this time of nothing happening, but I'm trying to enjoy every moment of this. I know it's very early days and lots of things can go wrong, but I'm not letting myself think about that too much! Positive thoughts only! :)

Betas: what would you do?

OK, so apparently to get my betas done with the OB, I have to first have an appointment with her. That's scheduled for Monday (9/10). I'm so tempted to just go to the RE today and get my betas done, though. So I'm asking you all, what would you do? Is there any real need to rush to get the betas done? Will 6 days really make that much of a difference? (Answer: it might only be 6 days, but I want to know now!!) Should I just be satisfied with my HPTs until I can see my OB? What do most women do? I've never had to think this far ahead before!

Also, for those of you who are/have been pregnant, what do they typically do at your first appointment? I'll only be about 4 weeks 2 days along on Monday, so it's too early for an ultrasound and there won't be any heartbeat to hear! Do they just palpate your pelvis or something? I really thought OBs didn't see you until 8-10 weeks, so I'm pretty surprised that I'll be seeing her so soon.

Oh my God...

I apologize if this post upsets anybody. That's really not my intention.

Today is 11 dpo. I woke up and lay in bed for a while, trying to decide whether to take a test or not. I almost didn't, but since I haven't had any spotting I thought I'd give it a go and used a cheapy. I couldn't believe my eyes when those 2 pink lines showed up. I'm officially in shock! I really never thought I'd be able to go to my husband and say "I'm pregnant!". I was due to start clomid with my next cycle. I'm so shocked, I don't even know what to do. Fifteen months of BFN after BFN, and now a BFP? For me? OMG. Of course I took a First Response Early Result and that was positive too. Faint, but definitely there. Pink, not an evap or anything. I took another cheapy as well, I don't know why I did that but yep, positive also. OMG! I took about a million photos of the HPTs, of course. It was hard to get good pics, but the lines are definitely there.

As far as symptoms go, I don't feel any different to how I always do after ovulation. My boobs have been a little tender, but that's nothing unusual at this point in my cycle. Other than that, I've been a little bloated and quite gassy (normal for me after O - sorry, TMI.)
I've been tired, but that usually happens after O too. I'm stunned!

I guess the next step is to go in for a beta. I'm shaking right now, I really didn't think this was going to happen for us naturally. I'm so happy, very excited and absolutely terrified too. I know 2 pink lines doesn't always equal a baby, but I'm not letting myself think those thoughts. I need to be calm, and think positive thoughts. I really hope it's a healthy, sticky bean.

My EDD should be somewhere around May 18th, 2013.

If anybody is interested, this is how my chart looks:

Second SA

We went to the fertility clinic this morning so my hubby could do another semen analysis. There were no real issues with his first one, but the fertility clinic will do a more detailed analysis so it's worth having it done again. The poor guy was in that room for like 30 minutes. I thought he wasn't going to be able to do it (the last one was done at home, so I think he had some pressure on him today which is understandable!)
I only went with him because with 2 of us in the car he could use the HOV lane on the freeway, since we had to be there by 8:30 and thought the traffic might be bad. It actually wasn't bad at all; maybe a lot of people took the day off to make it an even longer weekend! Typical, haha.

Anyway, that's done now so hopefully we might get the results by the end of next week. I'm not sure if the holiday weekend will affect processing - probably. So maybe the week after. Either way, we're expecting decent results based on his first SA, so we're not really concerned about it.

My chart is acting up and randomly changing my ovulation day. This morning it decided I ovulated on CD18 (3 days ago) but I'm sure that's wrong, based on CM etc. Well, when I changed the detector setting to "FAM" it reverted to CD14. I have no idea anymore! All I know for sure is that I have ovulated at some point, LOL.

I ordered some OPKs from Amazon today. Since I'll be taking Clomid next cycle, I want to be as sure as possible when I'm going to ovulate. I'm sure we'd be OK without the OPKs, but I feel like I should use them to maximize our chances since I'll be taking drugs!

It's weird, after our appointment on Wednesday I felt great - I was confident that I'd be pregnant soon. Today, I feel differently for some reason. I don't even know why, it's weird. I think I'm worried that Clomid won't be the answer, and then our options will be quickly running out. I know I should think positively, but sometimes I find that hard to do! I'm still holding out some hope that maybe we'll be lucky this cycle - I really hope we are, so I don't have to take Clomid at all - but based on all my previous cycles I can't be too optimistic this time around. I'm somewhere between 3 and 7 dpo (I think I'm closer to 7 dpo), so I know it's going to be another week at least before we know for sure whether this cycle has been a success. Fingers crossed!!!

In other news, someone is interested in adopting our latest foster pug, Cimon! I really hope it works out for him! I should know more on Sunday, when we're doing their home visit for them. :-)

First Appointment with the RE

We just got back from our appointment with the RE - and I'm happy to say it went really well! I was so freaking nervous before the appointment, but the fertility clinic staff are all so lovely and the doctor is really nice too. I asked a ton of questions of course, and he was really helpful. After talking for a while he did a transvaginal ultrasound, and everything looked great. No cysts on my ovaries and my uterus looks good too. He also took some cultures from my cervix. He described my cycles as "irregularly regular" - meaning that I ovulate regularly but my cycle length varies quite a lot, which is true (27-37 days, quite a variation). He said he wants me to try Clomid for 3 cycles, starting next cycle (if I'm not pregnant this cycle). After my first Clomid cycle he'll do another ultrasound to make sure I don't have any cysts, then I can take the Clomid again and so on. I think we might end up doing timed intercourse if the first Clomid cycle doesn't work, although he did say that we're having plenty of sex - our issue's not a lack of trying!

If I'm not pregnant this cycle I have to go in next CD2 or CD3 for bloodwork - they'll check my ovarian reserve and egg quality. He said my gynecologist was very thorough with the testing she did back in May/June, so that's good. He's not expecting any issues with my CD2/3 bloodwork, and he said it's looking like we fall into the unexplained infertility category. We discussed my husband's semen analysis, which he said looked fine but it wouldn't hurt to have another one done at the fertility clinic. That's scheduled for Friday morning, so that's good. Our insurance will cover it so that's not a concern, and it'll be interesting to see if anything's changed in the last few months. The last one was done at home and then rushed to the lab 40 minutes away (the lab told us as long as it was there within an hour it'd be OK). Well, the fertility clinic staff said he could get the sample at home as long as he gets it to the clinic within 30 minutes, which is do-able, but he's just going to do it at the clinic anyway. It's better to get it to them as "fresh" as possible, I think.

If Clomid doesn't work, or if they find any issues with the new SA, then we might end up doing IUI. It looks as though that would cost around $1000 per cycle, including ultrasounds, so that's not too bad really. We could do that - it's IVF we couldn't afford to do. The doctor is very optimistic that the Clomid will work, though, so hopefully we won't end up having to do IUIs at all. His confidence is rubbing off on me: I feel like maybe I will actually be pregnant soon.

We talked a little about laparoscopy, and he said that it might be something we could look into at a later date. He gave me information about it, and showed me some surgery images on the computer. I hope I won't need to have a laparoscopy, but if I do then I will of course.

I asked him about charting BBT, and he said he's happy for his patients to do it if they want to. He said it's not good for predicting ovulation, which I know of course, but it doesn't do any harm to use it to confirm ovulation. I'll probably keep it up for a while then I guess, although I'm not sure if Clomid messes with your temperatures... I guess I'll find out!

I feel a lot better now that we've been to our first appointment - I was so tense and stressed this morning, even though I really tried to calm myself down. I don't know why I get that way, but I do - maybe I have white coat syndrome! Now that we've been once, I think I'll be fine going again. I was just really worried that the doctor would be condescending, rude or dismissive. He was really friendly and nice, but he obviously knows his stuff too. That's exactly what I wanted - a doctor who knows what he's doing, but is still human and personable.

I have a massive headache now, I think because of all the adrenaline racing around my body. I wish I didn't get so stressed out about seeing new doctors!

Oh and here's my chart for this cycle - I ovulated on CD14 for the first time ever  :)

Really?!

Today when I updated my chart, I was informed that I'm 3 dpo now. Um, yeah... I don't think so! Pretty sure that the interpretation will change in the next few days! If I change the detector setting to "FAM" it gets rid of the crosshairs. I think that if I have ovulated already, it was more likely to be CD14 than CD13. Still, I had way more EWCM yesterday than I did on CD13 so I'm not convinced that it's happened at all yet. I guess we'll find out soon. This is how my chart looks at the moment (I got a free trial of the VIP features for a few days, apparently.)

I'm kind of looking forward to our appointment with the specialist on Wednesday. I'm sure when the time comes I'll be nervous as hell, but I really want some answers! I discussed my LP with my gynecologist, and she said that it was fine and that the spotting I have for a few days before AF is nothing to worry about. I've been wondering though if it is an issue, though, so I'll definitely be bringing it up with the specialist at our appointment. I'm hoping that he might do an ultrasound, and possibly a blood test to check my progesterone levels. I should get my AMH tested too; I think that's about the only bloodwork I haven't had yet. I already had FSH, TSH, testosterone, LH and a bunch of others including a 2-hour glucose tolerance test.

Can anybody think of anything else I should ask him to test for?