First Appointment with the RE

We just got back from our appointment with the RE - and I'm happy to say it went really well! I was so freaking nervous before the appointment, but the fertility clinic staff are all so lovely and the doctor is really nice too. I asked a ton of questions of course, and he was really helpful. After talking for a while he did a transvaginal ultrasound, and everything looked great. No cysts on my ovaries and my uterus looks good too. He also took some cultures from my cervix. He described my cycles as "irregularly regular" - meaning that I ovulate regularly but my cycle length varies quite a lot, which is true (27-37 days, quite a variation). He said he wants me to try Clomid for 3 cycles, starting next cycle (if I'm not pregnant this cycle). After my first Clomid cycle he'll do another ultrasound to make sure I don't have any cysts, then I can take the Clomid again and so on. I think we might end up doing timed intercourse if the first Clomid cycle doesn't work, although he did say that we're having plenty of sex - our issue's not a lack of trying!

If I'm not pregnant this cycle I have to go in next CD2 or CD3 for bloodwork - they'll check my ovarian reserve and egg quality. He said my gynecologist was very thorough with the testing she did back in May/June, so that's good. He's not expecting any issues with my CD2/3 bloodwork, and he said it's looking like we fall into the unexplained infertility category. We discussed my husband's semen analysis, which he said looked fine but it wouldn't hurt to have another one done at the fertility clinic. That's scheduled for Friday morning, so that's good. Our insurance will cover it so that's not a concern, and it'll be interesting to see if anything's changed in the last few months. The last one was done at home and then rushed to the lab 40 minutes away (the lab told us as long as it was there within an hour it'd be OK). Well, the fertility clinic staff said he could get the sample at home as long as he gets it to the clinic within 30 minutes, which is do-able, but he's just going to do it at the clinic anyway. It's better to get it to them as "fresh" as possible, I think.

If Clomid doesn't work, or if they find any issues with the new SA, then we might end up doing IUI. It looks as though that would cost around $1000 per cycle, including ultrasounds, so that's not too bad really. We could do that - it's IVF we couldn't afford to do. The doctor is very optimistic that the Clomid will work, though, so hopefully we won't end up having to do IUIs at all. His confidence is rubbing off on me: I feel like maybe I will actually be pregnant soon.

We talked a little about laparoscopy, and he said that it might be something we could look into at a later date. He gave me information about it, and showed me some surgery images on the computer. I hope I won't need to have a laparoscopy, but if I do then I will of course.

I asked him about charting BBT, and he said he's happy for his patients to do it if they want to. He said it's not good for predicting ovulation, which I know of course, but it doesn't do any harm to use it to confirm ovulation. I'll probably keep it up for a while then I guess, although I'm not sure if Clomid messes with your temperatures... I guess I'll find out!

I feel a lot better now that we've been to our first appointment - I was so tense and stressed this morning, even though I really tried to calm myself down. I don't know why I get that way, but I do - maybe I have white coat syndrome! Now that we've been once, I think I'll be fine going again. I was just really worried that the doctor would be condescending, rude or dismissive. He was really friendly and nice, but he obviously knows his stuff too. That's exactly what I wanted - a doctor who knows what he's doing, but is still human and personable.

I have a massive headache now, I think because of all the adrenaline racing around my body. I wish I didn't get so stressed out about seeing new doctors!

Oh and here's my chart for this cycle - I ovulated on CD14 for the first time ever  :)

Really?!

Today when I updated my chart, I was informed that I'm 3 dpo now. Um, yeah... I don't think so! Pretty sure that the interpretation will change in the next few days! If I change the detector setting to "FAM" it gets rid of the crosshairs. I think that if I have ovulated already, it was more likely to be CD14 than CD13. Still, I had way more EWCM yesterday than I did on CD13 so I'm not convinced that it's happened at all yet. I guess we'll find out soon. This is how my chart looks at the moment (I got a free trial of the VIP features for a few days, apparently.)

I'm kind of looking forward to our appointment with the specialist on Wednesday. I'm sure when the time comes I'll be nervous as hell, but I really want some answers! I discussed my LP with my gynecologist, and she said that it was fine and that the spotting I have for a few days before AF is nothing to worry about. I've been wondering though if it is an issue, though, so I'll definitely be bringing it up with the specialist at our appointment. I'm hoping that he might do an ultrasound, and possibly a blood test to check my progesterone levels. I should get my AMH tested too; I think that's about the only bloodwork I haven't had yet. I already had FSH, TSH, testosterone, LH and a bunch of others including a 2-hour glucose tolerance test.

Can anybody think of anything else I should ask him to test for?

Finally took the plunge!

This afternoon my lovely husband phoned the fertility clinic to make us an appointment. We're scheduled for next Wednesday morning. Maybe this will lead to us getting some answers at long last! There are some additional tests the fertility specialist can run, but they probably won't be doing them next week (it'll be CD19 when we go in).

I feel as though I'm going to ovulate soon... I hope I'm right! It's only CD13, but all the signs indicate ovulation being imminent; I even had EWCM today, which I don't tend to see all that often (I always get watery CM during my fertile time).  Fingers crossed, anyway!  :)

Back to feeling somewhat hopeful again

Today is CD12 and it seems as though I might ovulate soon. Last cycle I ovulated on CD15, but that was uncharacteristically early for me. I'll obviously be happy if it happens early again, though!

Right alongside the cautious hope I have right now is another emotion: fear. I'm scared that yet another cycle will pass, I still won't be pregnant and I'll take it even worse than last time. Last time was pretty bad, I felt utterly devastated. It seems that the longer this goes on, the harder it hits me each time we fail. Sometimes I want to just stop TTC, but I can't do that because we really want to have kids. I'm not sure how much longer I can do this, but I guess we'll take each month as it comes.

We haven't seen a specialist yet, because we keep putting it off. Maybe if we just wait a few more weeks we won't need to see anyone because I'll be pregnant. That's part of it. The other part is I'm not sure how I feel about taking fertility drugs. I've mentioned before that my OBGYN offered to prescribe me Clomid, but she doesn't really think I need it and I'm worried about it messing up my cycles or inducing ovarian cysts. I'm definitely getting closer to the point where I'm probably going to end up taking it anyway. I just have this feeling that it might put us in a worse position than we're already in, you know? But then again, it might work and that would be that. Maybe I can make it to the end of this year without resorting to Clomid; we'll see. I'd much rather my body would just do this naturally, and I do ovulate on my own - maybe I'd have better ovulation on Clomid, though. Decisions, decisions. There's also the fact that if I try Clomid and it's unsuccessful, I'm not sure there's much else we can really try. We know we couldn't do IVF if that was an option, and IUI probably isn't an option because my hubby has wonderful swimmers. No problems on his end. Maybe having Clomid as an option in the future makes me feel better, because we haven't exhausted our limited options yet. I'm trying to psychoanalyze myself here, how ridiculous is that?!

My hubby got home from his business trip on Friday, so things are back to normal here (whatever normal is!). We still have 3 foster pugs. Our new one has a vet appointment this afternoon because he has what looks to be an umbilical hernia. I really hope he won't need surgery, but I won't be surprised if he does. He's very sweet and I'm sure he'll find a great home relatively quickly. We've had our bonded pair of fosters for exactly 5 months now, and we'll have them until they're adopted (whenever that may be). Our new foster will probably be adopted within 6-8 weeks I think, though you never can tell!