Where we are now

My hubby isn't going on that almost month long business trip - thank goodness! I feel much better now :) I know lots of women have it far worse - especially those married to military men, who can be deployed for a year. I just totally freaked that he would be 1800 miles away, with no way to get home quickly if need be, and I'd be here and all alone. I was terrified I'd get put on bed rest and have nobody to help, or the baby would arrive early and my hubby wouldn't be here. 

Pregnancy:
Gestation: 31 weeks 5 days
Weight gained: 12.4 pounds*
Belly button: Still in (yay!)
Symptoms: Just tired mostly
Days to go until due date: 58 (whoa!)
Appointments: Every 2 weeks. Had one today, everything is good! Baby's heartbeat is nice and strong. One more appointment in 2 weeks and then my appointments will be weekly.
Movement: Lots of big movements these days. Think baby may be head down now.
Blood pressure: Normal at home, high at the OB's office. White coat syndrome! OB is happy because I've been keeping a log of my BP, and checking it at least twice a day. She keeps reminding me of the symptoms I need to watch out for, but so far so good.

* My weight has actually dropped by 1.4 pounds since my last appointment (2 weeks ago). Pretty sure it's because we were eating out a lot when my mom and stepdad were here, and things are back to normal now. My OB is happy with my gain so there are no concerns there. :)

Here's a belly photo from 31 weeks 1 day:

Another late update

OK so last time I wrote was almost 2 weeks ago. Oops.

March 3rd was my baby shower - it went very well, and a good time was had by all. We didn't have any cheesy games, either! :) There was a onesie decorating station, and people had fun with that. Since pretty much all the people at the shower are pug people, we got quite a few onesies decorated with pug things. One that stands out: "My sisters are hairy bitches". LMAO!

We were very lucky with all the amazing gifts people gave us. The big ticket items were the baby monitor and travel system. We didn't expect anyone to buy those! We got lots of very useful things, including a baby/toddler bath, loads of bath accessories, a baby grooming kit, books, lots of cute clothes (and in bigger sizes, too) and toys. We have a huge stash of washcloths and towels, too! Everybody was so generous and we were really touched by that. It was great to see everyone and celebrate our new arrival! :)

The onesie decorating station

Lots of gifts

Gifts again

The decorated onesies

Here are some of the 3D ultrasound pics we got at our second scan; baby boy was still not particularly cooperative but he was better the second time around than the first!

Rubbing his eye

Looks like he's sleeping (he wasn't!)

Resting his chin on his hand. This one was from the first 3D scan I think.

My mom and stepdad had a good vacation here. It actually went by pretty quickly - unlike when my dad was last here, LOL. They had a rental car so they were off doing things a lot of the time, which made it much easier to have houseguests. I really don't like it when people come and expect to be constantly entertained!!

They left very early Saturday morning, and we had our childbirth class and hospital tour that day. The class was much better than I'd expected it to be. It was a lot of information (a 10 hour class condensed into 5 hours), but it was presented really well and we both got a lot out of it. Birth partners and their roles were discussed, and techniques for helping during labor and delivery were taught. I know my hubby found that very helpful, because he didn't really know beforehand what he could do when the time comes.

The hospital tour was good, too. It was nice to see the L&D rooms and all that stuff. The hospital seems as nice as it can be, and the staff seem lovely too. I'm glad we chose that one to deliver at! :)

I'm 31 weeks pregnant tomorrow - time is really flying! Baby is still very active, which I love. He should weigh around 3 pounds now. In about 5 weeks I'll be having another ultrasound to check his growth and position. Hopefully he'll be head down by that point. I think he might be lying across my tummy now (transverse). I guess that's a little better than being breech - as long as he turns head down before delivery!

My hubby found out a couple of days ago that his manager wants him to go a couple of thousand miles away for almost a month of training - starting in 2 weeks. Um, no. First of all, I'm heavily pregnant and he doesn't want to leave me (and honestly, the thought of him being gone for that long at this point in our lives scares the crap out of me). Secondly, we have friends coming from England at the end of this month, for 2 weeks. If he went on this trip he wouldn't even see them once. Their trip has been planned for absolutely ages, too. He told his co-workers that the dates don't work at all for him, and I'm hoping they're going to accept that. I don't want him being in trouble with work or anything, but it just won't work. If it was for one week it would be OK, but almost a month? He'd have to leave March 24th (a day we have volunteer commitments) and he wouldn't be back until at least April 17th. I'm scared that if he were to go, I'd get put on bed rest and be totally screwed as far as having any help. I know it's probably unlikely that the baby will be born early, but you just never know. Things can happen. I feel pretty stressed over this whole thing, honestly. Ugh. Hopefully this will be the end of it, and that will be that.

I survived

I survived the 3 hour glucose test! It wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be. I took a good book with me and spent about half of the time reading it. The rest of the time I was wasting time using my phone and partly watching TV. I'd say the worst thing about it was not being able to drink any water until after the test - I've been drinking a lot of water every day, so it wasn't nice not being able to have a drink! My veins cooperated, thankfully, so I'll have 4 new bruises to go with the 2 from Monday. I was a little worried that they might be tricky so I was glad when they behaved, LOL.

My hubby came to pick me up when I was done and he brought me my water bottle and a yogurt! He's too sweet. I'd asked for the water but he thought of the yogurt on his own. On the way home we got drive thru Burger King (bad, I know, but I was absolutely starving by that point and the baby was going crazy for food, hehe).

Now I just have to do some cleaning and then I have to take our pug, Suzie, to the vet - we realized last night that she has a UTI, poor baby. She peed in the house which she never does, and there was some blood in it. She's had UTIs before with the same symptoms, so we're pretty sure that's what it is. After that, grocery shopping, more cleaning, dinner and then we'll head to the airport to meet my mom and stepdad!

I'm so glad I did the glucose test today rather than waiting until Monday. I feel a lot better knowing that it's done. Man, yesterday I was in the shittiest mood! Everything was just really getting to me. It really helps having all the noisy machines gone (they left at about 7 last night), and being somewhat ready for our visitors. Now I just need to stop procrastinating and do what needs to be done! Wish I could just take a nap instead, hehe. :)

Scan scheduled

Our NT scan is scheduled for next Monday, 11/5, in the morning. One week from now. Now that we have a date, I feel kind of nervous about it!

Well, I'm glad it's in the morning so I don't have to think about it all day (unlike our first ultrasound, which was at 4:30PM.) My hubby will be there with me one way or another - his work are usually pretty good about him having appointments, but since we don't know how long this one will take (or whether we'll go in on time, etc.) he might take the day off for it. The NT scan is being done at one of the OB office locations, whereas our first ultrasound was at an imaging center. It's a shame the NT scan can't be done in the same place, because they have awesome hours! (until 9pm, and they're open 7 days a week.)
I think it might be best if he takes the day off so he doesn't have to worry about getting back to work, in case it ends up taking a while. It's about a 20-30 minute drive each way, too, so even if my appointment happens on time he'd be out of work quite a while.

He had a dream last night that our baby is a girl. I feel as though it might be, but only because of the high heart-rate at our dating ultrasound. I know that's not 100% though, of course. Either way, we just really want a healthy baby. That's all we've ever wanted.

Back to feeling somewhat hopeful again

Today is CD12 and it seems as though I might ovulate soon. Last cycle I ovulated on CD15, but that was uncharacteristically early for me. I'll obviously be happy if it happens early again, though!

Right alongside the cautious hope I have right now is another emotion: fear. I'm scared that yet another cycle will pass, I still won't be pregnant and I'll take it even worse than last time. Last time was pretty bad, I felt utterly devastated. It seems that the longer this goes on, the harder it hits me each time we fail. Sometimes I want to just stop TTC, but I can't do that because we really want to have kids. I'm not sure how much longer I can do this, but I guess we'll take each month as it comes.

We haven't seen a specialist yet, because we keep putting it off. Maybe if we just wait a few more weeks we won't need to see anyone because I'll be pregnant. That's part of it. The other part is I'm not sure how I feel about taking fertility drugs. I've mentioned before that my OBGYN offered to prescribe me Clomid, but she doesn't really think I need it and I'm worried about it messing up my cycles or inducing ovarian cysts. I'm definitely getting closer to the point where I'm probably going to end up taking it anyway. I just have this feeling that it might put us in a worse position than we're already in, you know? But then again, it might work and that would be that. Maybe I can make it to the end of this year without resorting to Clomid; we'll see. I'd much rather my body would just do this naturally, and I do ovulate on my own - maybe I'd have better ovulation on Clomid, though. Decisions, decisions. There's also the fact that if I try Clomid and it's unsuccessful, I'm not sure there's much else we can really try. We know we couldn't do IVF if that was an option, and IUI probably isn't an option because my hubby has wonderful swimmers. No problems on his end. Maybe having Clomid as an option in the future makes me feel better, because we haven't exhausted our limited options yet. I'm trying to psychoanalyze myself here, how ridiculous is that?!

My hubby got home from his business trip on Friday, so things are back to normal here (whatever normal is!). We still have 3 foster pugs. Our new one has a vet appointment this afternoon because he has what looks to be an umbilical hernia. I really hope he won't need surgery, but I won't be surprised if he does. He's very sweet and I'm sure he'll find a great home relatively quickly. We've had our bonded pair of fosters for exactly 5 months now, and we'll have them until they're adopted (whenever that may be). Our new foster will probably be adopted within 6-8 weeks I think, though you never can tell!

Why do I do this?!

I woke up feeling quite nauseous this morning, and since I was already planning to test today it kind of spurred me on. Well, it was a BFN of course! Damn. I know nausea doesn't automatically equal pregnancy, it's likely a side-effect of progesterone. I knew it was probably too early to test but I did it anyway.

I'm having some very light spotting, too. I'm thinking that's not a good sign - I always spot before my period, it usually starts at 11 dpo but has started at 10 dpo and 12 dpo before. I'm still hopeful that this might be our cycle though. Who knows, the spotting could clear up soon. It could be a "good" sign - it could be implantation bleeding, possibly. See, I'm trying to be positive!!

Here's my chart, which I think looks pretty good so far [of course that could change any day, so I don't want to get too carried away yet.]

My hubby just got his travel dates for his business trip to Mississippi: it's only going to be for one week now, not two (yay!!), and the week he's going definitely shouldn't interfere with TTC. That's such a relief! We're still hoping that this will be my BFP cycle and we won't have to TTC anymore, but we're realistic about it and know that things like this don't seem to work out the way we plan (if they did, we wouldn't have been TTC for 13 months, it would've happened in the first 6 months or so of trying!). His boss didn't ask him why he's unavailable for most of the proposed dates, but if she had asked he was just going to tell her the truth: that we've been TTC without success for 13 months, and that I recently had a medical procedure done which might increase our chances for the next few months.

_______________________________________________

Today I'm going out for lunch with some of the other ladies I volunteer with. It was my friend's birthday yesterday so we're celebrating that! I honestly had no idea what to get her - I thought about nice candles, nice toiletries... I looked for something pug-related... In the end, I settled on something completely different. I bought her a nice cookie tin and baked her a batch of cookies last night. I know this sounds like a really lame gift but she absolutely loves my baking, so I think she'll be pleased. I also have a cute pug picture that I bought from the boutique pet store a while ago, and never did anything with (it's still in its packaging and everything). I'm debating giving her that as well - maybe she'll have more use for it than we do. I realize I probably sound really cheap here, but I've been spending my money on things to donate for the pug rescue silent auction, our pugs, and stuff I need for the adoption event I'm running. Oh, and voting in their cutest pug contest! I did buy myself a nice pair of sandals as well, but I really needed those!

Anyway, fingers crossed that she likes the gift. I think she will  :)

Willpower...

Something I generally lack! Not today, however.

This morning (9 dpo) I woke up and took my temp (98.2), went back to sleep, woke up again and then lay in bed debating the pros and cons of testing today. Now clearly 9 dpo is most likely too early to test, but that's never stopped me in the past. I used to be really crazy and test at 8 dpo routinely. Anyway, I managed to talk myself out of testing today because if I got a BFN it would make me sad. I know a BFN at this stage doesn't mean you're out, but despite knowing that, actually getting a BFN depresses me! If I thought I might actually get a BFP then I guess it'd be different, but I don't really feel any different. I always feel tired, bloated, gassy and a little crampy after I ovulate. I do feel a little nauseous but that's happened before too, so I'm not getting excited yet.

Testing today would most likely have been a big disappointment. Testing tomorrow, though... Well, I probably will. Even though one extra day probably won't make that much of a difference, it somehow sounds better to test at 10 dpo than 9 dpo. Or maybe it's just me. I'm still clinging to the small hope that the HSG will end up being all we needed to get that elusive BFP... If not this cycle, then maybe next cycle or the one after that. As long as my hubby isn't out of state, that is! If we didn't have the dogs then I guess I could go with him, but it would be about $300-400 to board the dogs Sunday through Friday (assuming we'd be back in time to pick them up on Friday), and we'd have to find a vacation foster home for our two fosters. Plus, I really don't want to go to Mississippi. I've actually been 3 times before, believe it or not. I had family there who we visited when I was a kid, as part of our US vacations. It's so humid there and I'd rather have the crazy (dry) heat we get here - even though it was 93 at 7.30 this morning, and it's been up to 116 the past couple of days... Plus, all things considered it would be pretty expensive for me to join my hubby out there - flights, dog boarding etc. So I'm hoping that either I get my BFP this cycle, or he'll be home during my fertile times for the next couple of cycles at least.

In other 'news' I'm preparing for my new pug rescue adoption event on Sunday. I think I have everything I need now, except for a couple of chairs which we'll probably get today. We bought a table which folds down really small and has a carrying handle. I got a donation jar, big water bowl, extra leashes... I need to print out all the paperwork I'll be needing, but I think we're pretty much set. I'm excited and a little apprehensive; I'm sure it'll go fine, but it'll be my first time "in charge" and I want to make sure it goes well and that I do a good job! So far we have 11 pugs and 6 or 7 volunteers, so it should be a good event. Hopefully we'll get some adoptions! :)

Mississippi? Really? =/

My husband found out yesterday that he's going to have to go away on business, to Mississippi of all places. Ugh! He had a list of proposed dates, he has to go for 2 separate weeks and it'd be one week there, a week home and then another week there. We looked at my ovulation calendars and it turns out he could go for one combination out of the three given, without interfering with our chances. Normally I'd just say we could have a break for a cycle - in fact I was about to say that, but it seems like a silly thing to do at the moment because the potential benefits from having the HSG should last for the next 2-3 months. It would be horrible to not be able to try one of those cycles in which (theoretically at least) I have increased fertility.

Hopefully the dates that work for us will also work for his boss. My husband is only really supposed to do one business trip a year, to Wisconsin (he did that in February). These extra trips are kind of inconvenient, especially given our situation. I guess if he absolutely has to go during ovulation time, then he has to go  :(  We'd be really disappointed though, and I'd feel very cheated out of trying during a cycle where we might be more successful than under normal circumstances.

His boss does understand that he has a life where we live, so hopefully it'll be OK. He's had to say no to trips previously for other reasons (like last summer, when we were buying our house and he had to be here to sign the paperwork and everything). I hope that his boss doesn't pry about why he needs to be in town for those particular weeks, but he's prepared to tell her a condensed version of the truth if necessary.

I'm 8 dpo today, and who knows, maybe I'll get my BFP this time and the business trips won't be an issue. I wish I could truly believe that, I really do. I'm trying to be positive without getting my hopes up too much. My chart looks OK, but it's obviously too early to test. I'm tempted to test on Wednesday (10 dpo) but that's probably still too early. It hasn't stopped me in the past, though!

A jumbled post

My husband had the day off yesterday, so we ended up going to the shooting range. I thought that I'd feel better if I shot at stuff, but it didn't work. I ended up letting him do most of the shooting. In all honesty, the shooting range isn't my favorite place. I'm from the UK and the culture regarding guns is completely different! When we went to buy the guns a few months ago, I felt like a criminal! LOL. Anyway, I assigned the red circle as 'infertility' - which I guess is why I hit it so many times! The red circle seemed to be the most appropriate for some reason. I don't know what the blue square was supposed to represent, but whatever it was it obviously didn't make me angry enough, haha.

One thing did make me feel better yesterday, though: we went out for an awesome Indian meal. It was the best Indian food I've had since I moved here, almost 2 years ago. I can't wait to go back there again! It was so nice to go out and just have a great evening together. I can't wait until our little vacation, when we can have 3 nights like that and 4 days relaxing by the pool (or in the pool, since it's been around 107º here lately). At least it's a dry heat... haha. It's better than having the same temp with humidity, of course, but it's still freaking hot! 

We got our security door installed this morning. We ordered it right after someone tried to break into our next door neighbor's house, about a month ago. It's for security first and foremost, of course, but it's also going to have lots of practical uses. We'll be able to *gasp* answer the door without first having to round up 4 crazy pugs, or worrying about them running out into the street. That will be awesome! Also, when it gets cooler (in about 5 months probably) we'll be able to have the front door open and air the house out. Before the security door, we could only open the back door to let air in which didn't do a whole lot. Now we can have both doors open, with air flowing through nicely, and the pugs will still be contained in the house. 

Another little bit of news is that I might be getting my own adoption event for the pug rescue group I volunteer with. Nothing is set in stone yet, but there's a possibility of adding another event to our schedule and they need someone to run it. I said I would be happy to, and I have the support of a few of the other volunteers. We'll see what happens, anyway! I'm quite excited about it, but I don't want to get ahead of myself. It would be for a few hours one Sunday per month, at a big pet store. I think I could do a good job, and it'll give me something else to focus on rather than everything I've been dwelling on recently.

I'm going out for lunch on Tuesday with one of the ladies I volunteer with. She's much older than me (she has a granddaughter who just graduated from high school!) but we get along really well. She's a lot of fun, despite our huge age difference. When I bake bread I make her a loaf and she can't get enough of that stuff! She's kind of like the grandma I never had, I guess. I had 2 grandmas and still have 1, but we were never close in any sense of the term. We never lived near either of them and I didn't see them often enough to be close to them. Anyway, Tuesday will be nice! It's something to look forward to immediately after Monday, too. 

I think I'll be really glad when my testing has been done, whatever the results. On the one hand if the results are fine, then we'll have hope. Maybe if everything is fine I'll be able to relax more about everything (not that I buy into the "relax!" stuff!). If the results are bad, then we'll have to reevaluate. I'm really hoping that if there is a blockage in my tubes, it won't be bad and it'll be cleared by the HSG. I'm a little concerned about the glucose testing, as I do have some symptoms that could point to PCOS. I guess it's better to know if there's something wrong than to be ignorant, though. I'd hate to have to take medication, but if it's necessary then I will. 

I think that knowing everything came back great with my husband's testing has made me worry more than I would have done had we not known his results. I don't know if that made any sense... What I mean is, if he hadn't gotten tested already maybe I'd be less worried about my own results, because there would be a chance that his results might not be great. As it is, though, everything's awesome with him so if there's a problem is has to be with me. That's what's making me dread all of this. The actual tests themselves don't worry me much, but the results do. If something is wrong then I really hope it's something that can be corrected easily.

I keep trying to convince myself that if we can't have kids, it won't be the end of the world. It's not working, though. I think it would be the end of my world, at least. Hopefully not forever though.

Staycation booked! Woo-hoo!

After a lot of online searching, we finally chose the resort we want to stay at. It's a great resort, we've been before (just for a day) when my mom and step-dad stayed there last year. There are lots of nice pools and great mountain views. The rooms are amazing and it's conveniently located. It's booked! I'm so excited, more so because it was my hubby's idea. I hadn't even thought of the possibility of going anywhere, other than maybe a day trip or two. It will be so lovely to have a little break, just the two of us with no responsibilities. I love our dogs to pieces but it'll be so nice to get some "us" time. Also, it'll be a good point in my cycle to go and have a romantic break. I should be able to get my HSG and glucose test done the week before, and then I'll be somewhere around CD10-CD13 when we're away which is fine. No damn period to ruin our break!

It's still possible that we could conceive this cycle, of course. If we do then it'll save me from having the HSG done. That would be good timing! I'm not really worried about it but it's not the kind of thing anyone really wants to do, you know? Anyway, right now I don't really care about that stuff too much - I'm thinking about our mini-vacation! Three nights in a beautiful resort, enjoying each other, the gorgeous pools and everything else there is... Bliss!

My hubby said it'll be like a do-over of our honeymoon, which was good but not exactly relaxing! We went to San Diego for a week and spent 5 days going to the zoo, Sea World and the safari park. We were so tired after all that! This will be nice and romantic  :)

My hubby

Last night while we were eating dinner, my hubby apologized to me. Why? Because he didn't do anything for Mother's Day (from our pugs). I know it sounds ridiculous, but last year he got me a little gift from them and I was a little bummed this year when he didn't do anything. OK, now I've written it down it sounds crazy. Anyway, he said that he "didn't want to remind me of what we don't have". I almost cried because there's no way I can forget what we don't have. I wish I could, believe me. Anyway, I thought it was sweet of him to think about it so much. I just figured he thought it was a silly thing to do, since the dogs are dogs and not our kids. I didn't really consider that he was worried about hurting me. I guess he's deeper than I give him credit for!

He also asked me to go with him to his doctor appointment tomorrow. He's worried he'd omit important info about what we've been doing as far as TTC is concerned. He probably would, in all honesty. He's not the one who's been charting and temping etc. He wouldn't have a clue about how long my cycles are or what day I ovulate on. I mean, I tell him that stuff but I doubt that he retains that information. He's a guy, after all. So I'm glad he wants me to be there - I guess we should be doing this together anyway.

I'm all too aware that 90% of couples conceive within a year of having regular unprotected sex, and that number only increases to 95% within 4 years. It's not very encouraging when we're virtually at the one year mark now, but statistics aren't everything. Maybe those women who conceive within 12 months have perfect 28 day cycles - I sure as hell don't. Maybe they're thin - I'm definitely not. This is why I'm not sure when to get myself checked out: should I wait until I've had 12 cycles? Or is a year of having fairly long cycles (34 days on average) enough? I guess we'll see what happens when my hubby gets tested and go from there. I have this niggling suspicion that if anything is "wrong" with either of us, it'll be me and not him. I don't know why, I just do.

I ovulated! Woo-hoo!

Yep, that's right! I ovulated on CD21 (the earliest since I began charting!). I'm very happy; if we're not successful this month then at least my O day seems to be heading in the right direction. I'm hoping that as time goes on, I'll O closer to CD14. I guess it doesn't really matter, but it would be nice to have shorter cycles!

This means AF is due on 2/4. I'm hoping to get my BFP instead, of course.

We just got the news today that my hubby has to go on a week-long business trip in the middle of February. My first thought, after "That sucks!" was, "Oh good, it won't coincide with ovulation!". LOL. I guess it's a good thing that we don't buy into Valentine's Day, because he'll be almost 1800 miles away. I'll miss him but we've been apart for much longer before, when we were in a long-distance relationship. We'd go 3-4 months without seeing each other and that was hell, so this will be fine. He'll only be gone Monday through Friday, too. I just hope the dogs behave for me while he's gone...

About half an hour ago, some idiot rang our doorbell twice in quick succession and then proceeded to bang on the door. The dogs went crazy of course (they hate the doorbell) and in the process of me trying to crate them they started fighting. I got bitten by Suzie pretty badly on my index finger - she broke the skin on either side of my knuckle. I don't think she meant to bite me (she was trying to get to Gracie), but still. The best of it is, whoever the idiot was who caused the frenzy didn't even wait for me to answer the door. If it was important enough to ring the bell twice and bang on the door, with no gap between any those things, then they could've waited the 45 seconds it took me to get to the door. I mean, they would've heard me shouting at the dogs, for goodness sake - they knew someone was home. Ugh, I hate some people!!!

Speaking of which, over the weekend someone stole my debit card number and emptied my bank account. Well, they actually put me in the red. Wonderful, right? I was woken on Sunday morning by a call from the card company asking me to verify a transaction at a gas station in Michigan. Um, nope, it wasn't me. Never been there in my life. Anyway, it turns out there were 4 transactions before they called to ask me if I wanted to block the card. We went to the bank yesterday to sort it out and now I'm waiting to get my money back. The lady at the bank said we were the fifth customers she'd seen yesterday with the same problem. Isn't it a sad reflection on society that this kind of thing is so common? I had the same thing happen to me years ago in the UK. Anyway, hopefully the people who do that kind of thing will get what's coming to them. Karma is a bitch!

As I suspected...

So with this morning's temp, my chart no longer shows ovulation. I expected that this would happen, because I didn't truly believe it when it said I O'd on CD37. Last cycle my post-O temps were much higher (above 98ºF) and the biphasic pattern was a lot more obvious. This is how my chart looks today, one big mess!


I'm so tired of this bullshit cycle. Today is CD41 and I still haven't ovulated, I very much doubt that I will now. If I do, chances are I won't get pregnant according to what I've read. I just want this cycle to end - either to ovulate (with no doubt that it's happened) or to just get my damn period so we can start over. In a way I want to just stop temping now, and resume when I start my next cycle, but I want to know what's going on and if I do O I want to know about it. Ugh. This whole thing sucks!

Hubby is on-call starting today for the entire week (finishing next Monday morning) which means that we'll probably get woken up at 3 a.m. or thereabouts multiple times. That's not good for temping! I hope he has an easy week so we're not both like zombies. Also, we're gonna need to keep DTD at least every other day, just in case I do O. This week is going to be a tough one as far as TTC goes. It'd probably be best if I just got my period, honestly. :-(

CD27 / 5 DPO

I've given in and accepted that I probably ovulated on Wednesday July 20th (CD22). Both FF and CTP state that's my ovulation date, so I'm going to go with it. I did have a lot of cramping on Thursday but apparently you can cramp after ovulation too, so I'll go with what they say!

So that makes me 5 DPO today. I still feel very tired, bloated and gassy and I'm having occasional twinges in my tummy. That's all! My BBT this morning was 98.2ºF and my CM today is very creamy. It's good that my temperature is staying high, hopefully it'll stay that way! If you're pregnant it should stay high throughout pregnancy, if you're not pregnant it usually drops and then you get your period. Of course I'm hoping that we'll be expecting a baby!

Hubby is being very sweet, he keeps rubbing my tummy and saying things like "hopefully there's a little bean in there!" He keeps saying how awesome it would be if I was pregnant. I agree, of course! It's really cool that he's so excited about it, I'm glad it's not just me who's obsessed... ;-)

I just really hope that we're not getting our hopes up over nothing. I know that we're both here for each other though, no matter what.