Tuesday, July 24, 2012

3 posts in 1

Part 1: Infertility Stuff

Today is CD10 and I had a temp rise of 0.6 this morning. I'm 99% sure that I did not ovulate yesterday - I've never ovulated before CD17 in all the time we've been TTC. My cervix was high yesterday but I didn't have fertile CM. I guess something's going on with my temps; it's weird, but whatever.

I must admit I'm getting to the point where I'm just so tired of TTC. I'm annoyed that it took over my life for more than a year. I'm annoyed that after extensive testing, we still have no answers. I'm annoyed that our insurance, which is supposed to cover infertility testing, has denied all of my claims - all of my bloodwork, my HSG, and even my pap smear (which you're allowed to have once a year and is supposed to be 100% covered). WTF?! So now we have to get in touch with them to sort that out, which is adding insult to injury. We checked our coverage before we had any testing done, to make sure we knew where we stood. They covered my husband's testing (which was also for infertility) but they won't cover mine? We're on the same freaking policy, with the same coverage! We're not paying for it when it says in black and white that infertility testing (and corrective surgery) is covered fully. I'm sure it'll be an uphill battle to get our insurance company to cover what they're supposed to cover. I'm going to let my husband deal with them, because I know I'll get really pissed off if I have to call them myself. He'll probably be able to keep his cool better!


Part 2: Family Drama Stuff

I finally bit the bullet and called my grandma last week. I hadn't spoken to her since before all the crappy drama with my dad (which happened mid-April). After hearing from my aunt that he was "broken-hearted" that I didn't send him a birthday card, I figured he would've already lied to my grandma about me. It was kind of awkward calling her, but I'm glad I did.

I wasn't planning to mention any of the stuff that happened, but she asked what was going on so I set her straight. She was genuinely shocked when I told her how he's treated me, and I said that I've had enough and I will not be apologizing for anything (since this is all on him). If I'd done something I would own it, but I did nothing and I'm not feeding his ego by groveling and begging forgiveness when I've done nothing wrong.

She said she would like it if we made up, but I told her in order for that to happen he would have to sincerely apologize and back his apology up with actions. Actions speak louder than words, and his actions let me know he doesn't give a damn about me. She told me that he said the email he sent me was perfectly nice, and that I couldn't possibly have taken offense. I couldn't help but laugh at that! My grandma agreed with me that what he wrote was definitely not nice, and apparently she told him that a long time ago. Even my friend who usually says stuff like "but he's family!" is pissed at him over that email and the way he's acted. He knows he's in the wrong, but he'll never admit it. That's OK - I'm fine without him. At this point, I'm protecting myself by completely disengaging. It says a lot that after more than 3 months of no contact, the only time he was upset about it was his damn birthday! He doesn't know (or care) what's going on in my life, he doesn't even know if I'm alive, but the big thing is that he didn't get a card and gift from me (after treating me like shit). Textbook Narcissist, seriously. He hasn't attempted to contact me since that nasty email in April. Good riddance!


Part 3: Everything Else

We've had a busy time with the pugs recently. Gracie lost a tooth on Friday, which wouldn't normally be too much cause for concern with a pug, but the root was horrible and dead-looking (even though the crown was white and healthy-looking). She had a dental cleaning at the vet yesterday, and had 2 other front teeth removed. I'm sure she feels better now that the bad teeth are gone!

Our foster, Milo, was diagnosed with bladder stones on Friday. He's having surgery on Thursday to remove them. Poor little guy! He's about 9 years old so I'm a little worried about him, but he had a dental a few months ago and didn't have any problems with the anesthetic, so hopefully he will be perfectly fine.

On Saturday we had a pug rescue event and 3 pugs found their new homes, which is awesome! After that my hubby took me out for lunch, and then I got my hair cut (which I've been meaning to do for a while). I was sick of my long hair, so I had the hairdresser chop off about half of it. It's a drastic change, but I love it! I haven't had my hair this short since about 9 or 10 years ago, and it feels good. It's not super short - it's just above my shoulders. It feels so much better though, especially in the summer heat! My hubby really likes it, but he was pretty surprised when he picked me up! :)

I spent most of yesterday thoroughly cleaning the house, doing lots of laundry and baking bread. It was a welcome distraction from everything - not just infertility, but also my pug-baby having her dental cleaning! My worries about her weren't completely unfounded - apparently it took her a while to come around from the anesthetic, which is common in brachycephalic (short-nosed) breeds, but I'm glad she's perfectly fine. She did need the dental, so it was a justified risk.

As far as distractions go, I want to do some more sewing but I don't know what to make. I also want to do some crochet, which I haven't done since before Christmas. I need to get back into it because it keeps me busy and I like being productive! I love to make things I can be proud of. Of course, making a baby would be the ultimate production, but who knows if that's in our future. Sometimes I think we should just stop trying and save ourselves the heartache of failure.


  1. Sounds like a rough week. I hope tomorrow is a little bit better.

    I *hate* insurance battles. I hope you connect with someone there that knows what they're doing and realizes that even though it may be easier to just continue saying no, it's not right.

    I'm glad your grandmother understood your need to protect yourself. I definitely understand crazy relatives.

    And, I'm sorry both your pugs are having a rough week too. I hope they feel better soon!

    1. Thank you! Hopefully we'll get someone on the phone who will actually listen and realize the insurance company has made a mistake. I think the pugs will be fine, it's just that everything seems to happen at once! :)

      My dad isn't the only crazy relative, we've had big issues with my in-laws in the last year too. Right now we have nothing to do with them or my dad, and I have to admit it's been very nice not having to deal with the craziness! I hope you manage to figure out a way to deal with your MIL, even if the only way is to not have a relationship with her. You don't need the kind of stress she causes, especially with a baby on the way!

  2. omg, you photo of your pug looks just like my oldest Cole, I love that!!! I'll be thinking of the little one, heal fast!!!

    I work at an insurance company and they even screwed up one of my claims, always check those statements....

    Sorry you have a Dad just like mine....... Oh I can share almost that exact story - Only add to it, my Dad's birthday which I do not observe is right near mothers day, so I give my mum extra love that, sense she raised me, and he JUST got remarried to a women is has know all of 6 months.... Now here is the added kicker, he gets pissed because I don't call him on his birthday and that I didn't send flowers to his new Bride/ aka my Stepmother..... Sorry I barely know the women and you want me to send her flowers..... Sorry bub I have my own mum.... Sorry you have to deal with that too. Guess that just means we have more to chat about!
    And my MIL is bat shit crazy too..... I could tell you some stories there too, read my blog, she is a peach.....

    1. My dad's birthday is right around Father's Day, but after the way he's acted I didn't send him anything for either. I don't get why they think we should be showering them with love and gifts when they aren't even there for us! They need a reality check! Sorry you have similar stuff to deal with, it sucks.

      My MIL is deluded BSC. If you look back to August and September in my blog archives, you'll find some crazy stuff about her! I'll look for yours too!