CD1

I just got my period...

I actually feel quite fine about it, I didn't cry or anything which even surprised me a little bit. To be honest, it's kind of a relief to know that my body is adjusting to being off the Pill. I would've loved to have gotten pregnant this month, but it was a long-shot having just come off birth control pills and it's not something that's likely to happen right away anyway. I definitely got too carried away with the idea that I could have been pregnant during the 2-week wait, and I need to try not to let that happen again from now on.

So today is cycle day 1 (CD1) and I actually started temping this morning. My BBT upon waking (at 6 a.m.) was 97.3ºF. I'll keep doing that daily and see if some kind of pattern emerges.

I've already concocted a plan for DTD this cycle - we'll DTD on CD8, CD10, CD12, CD13, CD14, CD15, CD16, CD17, CD18 and CD19 and then CD21, CD23, CD25 and CD27. That will cover us for the entire time that I could possibly ovulate! In fact, it's probably too much, but whatever! Some people say that it's better to DTD every other day because it gives more chance for sperm production, but the book I have says every day is fine and doesn't lessen your chances of conceiving. So we'll try to stick to my schedule! I'll also hopefully be able to tell from my BBT readings when ovulation actually happened, too, but after the fact unfortunately. I don't really wanna start using OPKs at this point but the temp thing isn't a big deal and it doesn't cost anything on a monthly basis, so I'm cool with that. So is my hubby so that's good! He hasn't heard of my DTD plan yet but I'm sure he won't have any objections, hehe :)

Spotting...

OK, so after wishing for my period to just be here already, I had the tiniest amount of spotting last night when I went to bed. I figured my period was coming, I had a terrible sleep (cramping a lot) and then this morning when I went to the bathroom I was convinced I'd be bleeding. Well, there was nothing.

So now I'm confused. Unless I ovulated later than I thought, it's too late to be implantation bleeding. I just don't know anymore. Implantation can happen up to 12 days after ovulation, so I guess it's technically possible - yesterday was June 27th, so I would've had to have conceived on June 15th. We didn't DTD that day, but we did on June 12th, 13th and 14th so to conceive on June 15th is feasible I guess. If I ovulated on June 15th then that would make today 13 DPO... And if the spotting I had last night was implantation bleeding, then all the tests I took previously would have been way too early. You don't have hCG in your system until the fertilized egg implants in the uterine wall, so if implantation occurred last night, even the test yesterday morning would've been too early...

Of course that scenario contains a lot of ifs and it's probably more likely that I'm gonna get my period at some point soon. I can't completely dismiss the idea though - it's possible.

I feel as though I'm grasping at straws, though. It's not likely I'm pregnant, is it? If my period doesn't show up in the next few days then maybe I am indeed pregnant...

Frustrated!

I've been feeling like I'm going to get my period for quite a few days now, and it still hasn't happened. At this point I kinda wish it would just come, I'm not pregnant (unless the tests were wrong, which I doubt) so I just want my next cycle to start so we can try again. I feel really emotional right now because it's like my body is messing with me. Every time I go to the bathroom I expect my period, but no. The cramping is pretty intense at the moment though - maybe it'll happen soon.

Blah!

This morning I took a HPT, kind of reluctantly, and it was as I expected - BFN.

I kind of wish I hadn't bothered, it's so disappointing to see a negative. I'm not testing again for at least another week.

13 DPO

I feel better today, I'm not dwelling on that silly dream anymore! I know it was kinda silly but it just felt so real and that's why I was upset.

Today I should be 13 DPO, I kinda wanted to take a HPT this morning but I resisted the urge. I'm going to take one first thing tomorrow morning though, 14 DPO. My period should come soon if I'm not pregnant. I haven't had any spotting whatsoever since my last period, and I'm having occasional cramps but they're not bad.

I'm still really bloated and gassy but I haven't been having many headaches these past few days (I do have a mild one now though). I'm still tired and I have really mild nausea at times, but nothing awful. My boobs feel pretty much normal and I don't have backache right now. So I don't have lots of pregnancy symptoms at the moment, which makes me think I'm probably not pregnant. However, some people don't really have any symptoms at this early stage and since I've never been pregnant before I don't know how it'll be for me. I don't feel confident that I'll get a BFP tomorrow, though - I'm really just expecting another BFN. I'd be so happy if I did get a BFP, I'd be over the moon. I just don't think this is our month, but that's OK - we've only just started TTC, after all.

Vivid dream

I woke up this morning after having a really vivid, real-feeling dream. I dreamt that I'd taken another HPT this morning, after the one yesterday evening which was negative, and the one this morning (in my dream) was most definitely positive. It felt so real that when I woke up I was really sad to realize it was only a dream :-(

It was crazy - there were loads of little details which made it all the more real, such as me wanting to call my dad but realizing that he was at a concert this evening (he is) and wanting to call my mom but realizing she would be out too (she would be). The dream even accounted for the 8 hour time difference between here and the UK, where I'm from and where my family still live!

I was so over-the-moon happy in my dream, so was my hubby. It really felt like a cruel joke this morning, I must say. I know it's just my mind playing tricks on me, but I cried my eyes out all the same. I was almost tempted to take another HPT this morning but I knew that my dream couldn't mean anything really so I resisted. It would be nice if such a dream could be my body telling me something, but I doubt it!

I feel so emotional right now, I could cry all day I think. I actually woke up thinking it was real, the dream was that vivid. Crazy, huh? And oh-so upsetting...

:-(

11-12 DPO

OK so today I think I'm 11 DPO (could be 12 though) and I feel the same as I have been feeling. I gave in to temptation this evening and took a HPT, because I realized I hadn't peed for about 5 hours. It was negative. I actually feel fine about it, because it could still be too early to get a positive result. That's what I'm holding onto, anyway!

So I'll re-test on Monday morning, unless I get my period before then. Hopefully I won't, and I'll get my BFP then!!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed anyway! :-)

I just ordered some Wondfo HPTs from Amazon.com, they're way cheaper than any tests you can buy in stores and they're supposed to be good. Well, I ordered a pack of 50 (yes, 50!) for $9.45. It works out at like 19c per test, which is awesome! I also ordered a basal body temperature thermometer for under $9 (it has a backlight so that'll be useful seeing as you're meant to test before you get out of bed on a morning) and then I needed to spend a little extra to qualify for free shipping (if I didn't, then I'd end up spending the same difference just on shipping - may as well get something for that money, right?!). Well, I browsed baby stuff for ages and looked at all kinds of things, like onesies, booties, socks, hats, blankets, bibs... I eventually chose something, it's a really cute owl stroller toy! I figured it wouldn't matter if we had a girl or a boy with that - most of the clothes were gender-specific and a lot of the stuff was really nice but a lot more than I needed to spend to get the free shipping. The owl toy was a little more than I needed to spend, but only by a couple of bucks so nothing major! It should all arrive by the end of next week, I can't wait! Here's the owl toy:

Hubby and I went out shopping today, we went to TJ Maxx and the mall, mainly just to get out of the house. Outdoors activities are a no-go here for the next 3 months or so, it's been around 110ºF here recently with no sign of it cooling down! We do live in Phoenix, though - it's the desert, what do you expect, right?! So we needed to go somewhere with A/C!

Anyway, we had a look at some baby stuff and I was sooo wanting to buy a nice baby blanket, they had some amazing deals in TJ Maxx (beautiful soft baby blankets for around $7, rather than their SRP of $36!) but hubby wouldn't let me. Well, he couldn't really have stopped me obviously but I think he just wants me to stop getting carried away. I can't say I blame him, to be honest! I told him that as soon as I find out I'm pregnant, we're going back there! :-)

10-11 DPO

Well, I still have a lot of the same symptoms I've had the last few days (or longer). The only difference today is that I'm cramping and I kinda feel like I'm gonna get my period. I really, really hope that I'm wrong about that, though. Fingers crossed it won't happen and I'll still get to test on Saturday. I think I could probably test tomorrow, actually, but I don't want to keep wasting tests and if I test too early then it's a waste!

I guess this is how TTC is going to be - lots of waiting and wondering, analyzing every little symptom...

It's still possible that the cramping I'm having is related to implantation, but every time I go to the bathroom I kinda expect the wait to be over for this month.

Well, it's not over yet, so there's still hope I guess! It feels as though hope is fading, but if I do just get my period instead of a BFP then it's not all bad - at least it means I'll be getting back to 'normal' after my BCPs. I'm still gonna be majorly disappointed, though!

9-10 DPO

I've still got the same symptoms I was having before, so I'm still hopeful that maybe I'll get a BFP on Saturday!

Today I had at least 3-4 episodes of nausea, one was really bad while I was doing the dishes this evening. I seem to feel worse when I haven't eaten for a while. I have a slight headache and I'm still very gassy/bloated. I also had some lower back pain earlier on, it didn't last very long but it was noticeable. I had some twinges in my pelvis, but nothing too bad. I seem to be producing a lot of saliva at the moment, it's odd. I think sometimes that I have a slight metallic taste in my mouth too, but I'm not 100% sure on that one. I hope that these are genuine symptoms and not my body messing with me, just because I want to be pregnant... I know that can happen but I seriously hope that's not the case with me. The symptoms I'm having are very real, they're not in my head, but I know sometimes our bodies can play tricks on us!

I think I'm 9 DPO, although I could be 10. I'm going to test on Saturday morning, hopefully by then I'll be able to get a positive HPT if I'm pregnant. If it's negative, then I'll re-test 3 days later if I still haven't gotten my period. Obviously I'm hoping that I won't need to do any re-tests - fingers crossed the one on Saturday will be a BFP! If not then it's not officially 'over' until I get my period, so there's still hope!

I'm so tired right now, I think I'm gonna have to go to bed. It's only 9.20 p.m! Ah well, I need my sleep I guess.

Lots of symptoms!

According to www.countdowntopregnancy.com, the most common signs of pregnancy at 7 DPO (which I think I am today) are as follows:

1. Fatigue/exhaustion
2. Gas/flatulence
3. Mild/dull cramps/pressure
4. Bloating
5. Backache
6. Nausea
7. Increased cervical fluid
8. Tender breasts
9. Breasts feel heavy or full
10. Headaches

I definitely have 8 of those - 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9 and 10.

I don't have nausea all the time, but several times a day. I've been having a lot of headaches (before now I didn't really attribute those to possible pregnancy symptoms, but I've had a lot more headaches recently than I usually do). I've been so tired today, but generally for at least a few days now. Number 7 - yes, definitely! As I've mentioned before, I've had a lot of bloating and gas recently. I still feel bloated. I've been having occasional mild cramps, as I've mentioned lots. My breasts haven't been overly tender but my nipples have been on occasion, and my bra has felt tight at times.

Well, I guess I'll find out in about 4 or 5 days when I do a test! I hope this is it, I guess I'm feeling 'cautiously optimistic'. I really hope my body isn't messing with me - to have 8 out of 10 symptoms, which sounds promising, and then just to get my period... Well, that would completely suck!

Keeping my fingers crossed for a BFP!

6-7 DPO

I'm cramping a little today, nothing major or really painful, just dull cramps. I'm hoping that it's not a sign that my period is on its way... I keep telling myself it could be implantation cramping, which I suppose it could be, but I'm trying to prepare myself for it being my period instead. It would be the right kind of time for implantation to occur, though - I'm 6-7 DPO right now, if I'm right about when I ovulated, and implantation is supposed to occur at 5-10 DPO. Also, if I'm right about my ovulation date, then it should be too early for my period.

I'm still kinda bloated and gassy, and I feel a little lightheaded, but I don't think either of those things can be attributed to pregnancy - well, they can, but they're also attributable to a lot of other things! I've had a few episodes of mild nausea over the past 3-4 days, but nothing severe. The thing is, some women have lots of symptoms very early, while some have very few or even no symptoms until they're like 6-8 weeks pregnant. It's easy to look on every little thing as being a 'good sign' and in doing so, you could be setting yourself up for a big disappointment.That's what's so frustrating about this whole thing - so many things can be a symptom of pregnancy but also a symptom of an impending period.

Hubby thinks I expect to get pregnant right away, which is really not the case - I really hope to get pregnant right away, but the sensible side of me knows it's likely to take some time. I keep trying to be positive but sometimes I just think I should stop thinking about it, because the chances aren't really in our favor if you look at the statistics! Healthy fertile couples apparently have a 20% chance of conceiving with each cycle, so that's an 80% chance of not conceiving with each month, too.

I'll confess, on Friday night the waiting was really getting to me and I did a pregnancy test just in case I might have ovulated earlier than I thought. Well, I really thought I could see a very very faint positive result, but I think I was seeing what I wanted to see. The line was definitely there, albeit really faint, but I suspect it was some kind of glitch or something. It wasn't enough to convince me that it was real, anyway.

I'd love to be able to do a test now but it would most likely be a waste of a test. At 6-7 DPO it's too early. Some people have had positive results after 8 DPO but I think they're in the minority. It's a shame the tests are single use - it'd be great if you could get one that was somehow reusable, I don't know if that's even possible but it would be worth paying extra for! I got 2 packs of 2 First Response Early Result HPTs and they were $8 per pack, so if I take one too early that's $4 down the drain each time, which doesn't seem like a lot but if this baby-making process goes on for many months (I hope it doesn't!) then that would start to add up. I need to refrain from testing before 12 DPO, so at least I'm in with a good chance of getting a positive result if in fact I am pregnant. It could still be negative if there isn't enough hCG in my system, though - which would mean re-testing in 2-3 days to see if anything's changed.

I guess at the end of the day, what will be will be. I sincerely hope that when I take that test it's positive, but I need to be realistic about it.

Impatient!

Wow, I'm finding this 2 week wait (2ww) really hard! It's my first, of course. From the forums I've been reading it seems a lot of people do a pregnancy test 12 days post ovulation which would mean I could test on June 24th or 25th. The tests I bought are supposed to be accurate from 6 days before your period is due, but the accuracy increases the longer you wait. I'm guessing if I did ovulate when I think I did, my period would be due around June 26th or 27th, so testing 2 or 3 days before I should get the correct result. Not necessarily the result I want, of course, but I guess if I test and it's negative, and my period doesn't show, then I'll re-test 2 or 3 days later.

So, 8 or 9 days until I can test! It feels like forever because I can't stop thinking about baby stuff!

Another post

Oh gosh, I'm posting a lot here today! Ah well.

So, I used an online calculator and if we conceived this month (conception date would be June 12th or 13th) then our baby would be due at the beginning of March next year (4th or 5th). That would make our 'hopeful estimated due date' (HEDD) 3/4/12 or 3/5/12.

I'm so hoping that we're going to get a positive result when I test...

Shopping!

This afternoon we went to Target and bought 4 First Response Early Result pregnancy tests and a book - "What To Expect When You're Expecting". I've been looking through the book this evening and it's really useful actually. It's already answered a few questions I had, and I've only been skimming through it! I'd definitely recommend it, it's very informative and easy to read. It also has a lot of pre-conception information which I've found useful.

Apparently coffee is OK during pregnancy, up to 200 mg per day (about 1.5 cups of the kind we drink). Even so, yesterday I decided not to drink any more coffee. I know that when my mom was pregnant with me she had a strong aversion to coffee, so maybe I'll have the same problem with it anyway. I just feel better avoiding caffeine, even though it's not strictly necessary.

I haven't had any alcohol for ages and I won't be now until after we have our baby! I've never smoked so that's not an issue for me.

I'll have to cut out sushi, which I love, but that's OK.

Damn, I'm so bloated and gassy right now... I feel so fat! I wonder if it's the prenatal vitamins doing it to me, I've heard they can make you gassy. I guess I'll have to get used to it then!

Abbreviations

I've added a list of abbreviations on the right side of this blog, for reference purposes! I still don't know many of them myself so it'll help me out too :)

I think I'm 1-2 days post ovulation now

I'm pretty sure I've ovulated already - sometime between Sunday and Tuesday. By last night my CM was creamy rather than really wet, so we're probably past my fertile window for this month. There's definitely a chance we could conceive this month though, because we 'did the deed' (DTD) on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. We also DTD last Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday too. Even though there's probably not a lot of point so far as baby-making is concerned, we'll probably DTD today as well. I think it's important to not make it into a chore so we should do it as often as we want to even when I'm not likely to be fertile. I really think sex should still be fun and enjoyable!

I've been reading a lot of 'trying to conceive' (TTC) forums recently and I've gathered some good information there, but I think a lot of the people on there really are too obsessed with the whole thing. Now, I'm kinda obsessed too, but I mean they're obsessed to the point where they're probably stressing themselves out and in doing so, slashing their chances of conception. I believe that stress plays a role in it - if you're stressed out, you can mess up your cycle.

I do understand that a lot of those women have been TTC for a long time and I'm new to it, so maybe if I get to the same point as them I'll be the same way. Of course, I'm hoping never to get to that point - I really hope that things will happen naturally for us, without the need to chart basal body temperature (BBT) and use ovulation prediction kits (OPKs) because those things sound like a complete pain in the ass! Maybe if we haven't conceived in the next 3 months or so I'll look at doing the BBT thing - those thermometers are only about $10 - but I'm hoping I won't ever have to use OPKs - they're expensive and they sound like a hassle ($20-$50 per cycle, and you have to use them at the same time of the day, apparently in the afternoon, and you can't drink anything for 4 hours beforehand!).

While I really do want a baby... really really... I'd like the baby-making process to be as relaxed and stress-free as possible. At the moment since we've only just started TTC, I don't think there's any need to overly worry about anything. For all we know, we've already conceived and it's just a matter of time until we find out! (Wishful thinking on my part, obviously, but this is all part of me trying to be positive about it).

Maybe just believing in yourself, and your body's ability to do what comes naturally to it, will go a long way toward making it happen. I believe I'm meant to be a mother, no matter how long it takes! :)

It's (almost) official - I'm ovulating! :)

I did more research on ovulation and it turns out the type of CM I have (and have had the past 2 days) is the most fertile! Wow, it is ovulation after all! I suspected that I was ovulating, but what I read last night confirmed it for me really. Plus, yesterday I was having left-sided pelvic cramping - during ovulation you can cramp on one side, the side that releases the egg. So that makes sense! :)

Also, nausea can be a symptom that you're about to ovulate - I had a headache and was really nauseous on Saturday and Sunday (Sunday was worse for the nausea, Saturday was worse for the headache).

It sounds silly but I honestly cried a little when I read that - after coming off birth control pills, I had no idea what my cycle would do (I thought it might be months until I ovulated) so knowing that my body is getting back to normal is such a great feeling! It also means that this could be our month to conceive, which would be the best thing ever! I've read though that you only have a 20% chance of getting pregnant with each cycle, so I shouldn't get my hopes up too much because the chances are I'll have them dashed.

A lot of women do pregnancy tests 10-12 days post-ovulation (DPO), so I could probably do one in about 10 days from now. That's before my period should be due, but the test I have is meant to be accurate up to 5 days before your period is due. I think the tests are more likely to be accurate if taken later than 10 DPO, but honestly, by then I'll probably be desperate to find out! Logically I should wait for 2 weeks from now, and if I don't get my period then I should test. I have a feeling I'll probably test a couple of days before then, which should still give me an accurate result anyway. If I get a positive result I don't know what I'll do - laugh? Cry? It would be amazing, seriously amazing!

I know that getting pregnant isn't a guarantee that you'll end up with a baby, there are a lot of things that can go wrong, but it'd be such a fantastic feeling to know my body can do something so awesome. I hope to God that we never have to experience miscarriage or late-stage loss, because we'd be absolutely heartbroken. I know people who have miscarried and it was awful for them. Hopefully I'll be one of the lucky ones who doesn't have to go through that...

Intro

My husband and I are trying to conceive our first baby, so I figured I'd start a blog to chart our journey!

So far we're in the very early stages of 'trying' - I came off my birth control pills on May 21st. At the moment we're just having fun seeing what happens - we're hoping that I'll get pregnant of course, but not doing any crazy charting or temperature-taking or timings... The reason for that is mainly because my cycle is still messed up from being on birth control, but also because we don't want to get really stressed about baby-making. We figure if we relax about it then maybe it's more likely to happen. Of course we don't know yet if our theory will work, but it does mean that we can make love without it feeling like a robotic act! :)

I've been having cramps on and off for the past couple of weeks, which I figure is part of my body getting back to 'normal' after birth control. I suspect I may be ovulating around now, because since last night I've had lots and lots of cervical mucous (gross, I know!) and apparently that's a sign of ovulation. If that's the case, we could well be making a baby this month! I don't really expect to become pregnant this quickly but I'm hoping that I will, even if the chances are relatively small. If I'm ovulating now, then I should get my period in about 2 weeks (give or take a couple of days). I'm working on the assumption that my cycles should be 28 days but they could be shorter or longer, I have no idea! My periods used to be really regular before birth control but that was quite a while ago, so I don't know what they'll do now.

We're not anticipating problems with our fertility, but you just never know. I've never tried to get pregnant before, I've only ever tried not to, so now that we're trying to conceive it feels a little strange I must admit! I'm both excited and nervous at the same time, which I assume is natural! :)

One thing I'm finding hard is not telling people we're trying to get pregnant... On the one hand I want to tell everyone, but the sensible side of me knows it's not a good idea. I mean, it would just add to the stress if people were always asking if I'm pregnant yet. I know for a fact that we can't tell my in-laws because they're so looking forward to being grandparents and I know my mother-in-law would ask about it all the time! Hubby and I agreed not to tell her that I've come off birth control, so she won't be tempted to enquire about my pregnancy status constantly!

The only person I've told is one of my friends who had a baby 6 weeks ago, because she'd emailed me and said at the end, "If you're thinking about having babies I'd definitely recommend it!" - so I told her. I kind of want to tell my own parents but again, I think it could potentially add to the stress. I think it's better to tell them when there's actually something to tell them - when we have a confirmed pregnancy. I think we'd tell our parents as soon as it's been confirmed, by blood test and/or ultrasound. I know a lot of people wait until they're at least 12 weeks along before announcing it to people, and I do agree with that, but when it comes to your parents it's a little different. I'd want their support if, God forbid, anything were to go wrong. Hopefully we'll never be in that situation, but you never know. As for everyone else, I'd want to tell 2 or 3 friends I think, but that would be it until later on. The friends I'd want to tell are friends who already have their kids, not the ones who don't. I don't know why but I'm thinking it's probably because they'll understand more and I'll probably be able to get good advice and support from them. Somewhat ironically, they're not my best friends either, but they are very good friends.

Of course all of this might change once we actually are expecting, I might want to tell my best friends too. Judging by how I feel now, wanting to tell people we're just trying, I probably will! What can I say? It's an exciting time! :)