Uh-oh... (TMI warning!)

This afternoon I started having some spotting... At first it was pink/almost red in color but then it became brown and now there's virtually nothing there. Nothing has made it to my pad, it's only when I wipe that I see it.

I'm really hoping that this isn't a sign of my period coming... Hopefully it's implantation bleeding rather than pre-period spotting. I'm really worried though, I must admit. On the one hand, the spotting coincides with the dip in my temperature this morning, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything - it could be an implantation dip or could be because my period is coming. I'm really hoping my LP is at least 12 days though, and if my period comes today or tomorrow then it won't be (if it comes today, my LP will only be 10 days; if it comes tomorrow, my LP will be 11 days). I'm also concerned that all the cramping I've been having would be 'unexplained' if I'm not pregnant! I mean, why would I cramp for all this time otherwise? Normally I have horrendous cramping during my period and around ovulation, but not for pretty much the whole 2 week wait! The most obvious reason I'm worried is because I'll be really disappointed if we haven't conceived this time (which is kinda silly because we haven't been trying very long at all).

Stating the obvious, my hope is that the spotting is in fact implantation bleeding and that I'll get a BFP in a couple of days when there's enough hCG in my system. Failing that, I hope my period will at least hold off another couple of days so I can rest easy about my LP length.

Ugh... TTC is most definitely an emotional rollercoaster, that's for sure.

Family...

Last night we went over to the inlaws' house for dinner, and hubby and his mom went off for a chat about our new house etc. Well, on our way home he told me she'd asked when we were going to give them grandkids, to which he replied "when we're ready". She then said that he should tell me to get off of the pill so we could get started! If only she knew, haha. I'm so glad he didn't let anything slip - I've been off the pill since May but that's really none of her business, right?!

When we decided to start trying for a baby, we also decided not to tell anyone we were trying. We figured that we could do without the constant barrage of questions we'd get (especially from hubby's mom! lol) and that we'd tell people once there was something to tell them - i.e. when I'm actually pregnant. His parents have made no secret of the fact that they can't wait for us to have kids, which is nice in a way, but I know what his mom is like and if she knew we were actually trying then she'd be a nightmare. I can imagine she'd be asking every week (or every few days!) if I'm pregnant yet, and trying to give us unsolicited 'advice' - and since we don't know how long it's going to take for us to conceive, I don't think we could put ourselves in that position. I mean, what if it takes us a year or more? That's why we didn't want to tell people, because it would only add to the stress - and the pressure, honestly.

Anyway, I'm 11 DPO today, having the same symptoms I've been having for a while now including the cramping. Test this morning was negative (again!). It makes me think I'm probably not pregnant this time, but I know I'm not 'out' until I get my period. I had a bit of a dip on my chart today, it was back to 98.2ºF (yesterday was 98.6, the day before 98.3, the previous 4 days 98.2) which I guess could indicate an implantation dip, but I also know that you can get a dip without being pregnant, or be pregnant with no dip. Also, 1 temperature on its own doesn't mean a whole lot usually.

My chart as of today (10 DPO)

It appears that my temperatures are steadily rising... Maybe it'll be a tri-phasic chart. All temps (except for the one on CD3) were taken within 10 minutes of my usual time, the vast majority taken at 5.50 a.m. and the others were taken at 6 a.m. They should all be pretty accurate.

Oh, and I did test again today... It seems I'm a testaholic! Negative as expected. Maybe tomorrow will be a really faint positive, that's what I keep telling myself anyway! :-)

My chart as of today (9 DPO)

Here's my chart as of today, I think it looks pretty good if I do say so myself but I'm only 9 DPO today so anything could happen! Maybe it'll keep rising and become tri-phasic... Not that that guarantees pregnancy or anything, but it's interesting to see!

I'm really hoping I'll get my BFP soon, but if I don't get it this cycle I just hope that my luteal phase is long enough! With all of this cramping I've been having, since 4 DPO, I sometimes wonder if I'm about to get my period. I really hope not! My LP needs to be at least 12 days so here's hoping it will be. Apparently LP length is 14 days on average, with a range of 10-17 days, but doctors consider less than 12 days to be a LP defect so I'm really hoping I don't have that! It's easily treated apparently, but I'd still rather have it be normal of course. :-)

I'm probably going to test again in the morning because who am I kidding... I can't seem to help myself! Lol. Definitely not using one of my FRERs though, Wondfos all the way!

9 DPO

Against my better judgement I tested again this morning... Stupid! Negative. For some daft reason I used a Wondfo and a First Response. I must be crazy! Think I'm going to just test again on Sunday, and leave tomorrow out. Well, that's my plan anyway. Of course, my original plan was to not test today, so we'll see how well it goes! With the Wondfos they're so cheap that it's no biggie if I do overtest, I guess, but the FRERs? Not so much! I think this morning I was just curious if one would pick up a BFP. I won't use another FRER until after my period is due.

8 DPO

I tested this morning, and...

BFN! *sigh*

Completely as expected, but I can't help but feel a little disappointed about it! Silly me, I know. Anyway, I'll test again in 2 days (Saturday, when I'll be 10 DPO). I really hope I am pregnant and just tested too early! :-)

Just as well those Wondfos are so damn cheap, it looks like I'll be getting through a whole bunch of them every month if it takes us a while to conceive! lol.

Testing tomorrow...

Yikes, I've been such a bitch this evening! I'm in a bad mood apparently, for no real reason. I blame my hormones! Hubby keeps laughing at me, well, not at me but at the situation. He's really getting into the idea of me being pregnant, every time I have some symptom or other he gets excited! It's cute but I don't want him to get his hopes up too high. Of course that's what I'll end up doing though... I just need him to be level-headed to keep my feet on the ground, I guess!

My bra feels tight which is kinda unusual and I'm still having a lot of mild cramping. I really hope that's a good sign...

I'm kinda nervous about testing in the morning. I'm not expecting it to be positive at only 8 DPO but I'm testing anyway. It would be so awesome to see 2 pink lines... The 2 week wait sucks!

CD28 / 7 DPO

I'm 7 DPO today. I'm still having mild cramps, I'm still bloated and gassy and really tired. I can't seem to make it through the day without a nap in the afternoon! My nose is a little stuffy on and off and since last night my nipples have been sensitive. I haven't had any spotting or anything, and my BBT was 98.2ºF again this morning which it's pretty much stayed at since 1 DPO. There was one day, I think 4 DPO, when it was 98.1ºF but that's nothing to worry about.

Of course, all these 'symptoms' could just be my hormones, and not pregnancy hormones. I know it's kinda too early to be having true pregnancy symptoms. Implantation can happen as early as 5 DPO though, so it's feasible that could've happened 2 days ago and by the time I test tomorrow morning I could have a BFP! If I do I'm sure it'll be super faint, but a pink line is a line. If it's grey then it's probably an evaporation line or an indent. I'm truly not expecting to see anything other than the control line tomorrow, but I'm curious. It would be so cool if I do get a BFP! If I do I'll still re-test on Saturday (10 DPO) because the line should be darker. Heck, if I get a BFP tomorrow I'll most likely test again Friday, haha. It'd be interesting to compare them side by side and get a photo. I guess if I get a BFP I'll also use a First Response, but maybe not until 10 DPO. Wouldn't it be awful to get a BFP on one test and not on another?! I know that's happened for some women. A lot of people say Wondfos detect pregnancy even earlier than FRERs, but then there are some people who say the opposite. I guess it really depends! I'll stick with the Wondfos at least until later on, anyway.

Fingers crossed this is our cycle!

CD27 / 5 DPO

I've given in and accepted that I probably ovulated on Wednesday July 20th (CD22). Both FF and CTP state that's my ovulation date, so I'm going to go with it. I did have a lot of cramping on Thursday but apparently you can cramp after ovulation too, so I'll go with what they say!

So that makes me 5 DPO today. I still feel very tired, bloated and gassy and I'm having occasional twinges in my tummy. That's all! My BBT this morning was 98.2ºF and my CM today is very creamy. It's good that my temperature is staying high, hopefully it'll stay that way! If you're pregnant it should stay high throughout pregnancy, if you're not pregnant it usually drops and then you get your period. Of course I'm hoping that we'll be expecting a baby!

Hubby is being very sweet, he keeps rubbing my tummy and saying things like "hopefully there's a little bean in there!" He keeps saying how awesome it would be if I was pregnant. I agree, of course! It's really cool that he's so excited about it, I'm glad it's not just me who's obsessed... ;-)

I just really hope that we're not getting our hopes up over nothing. I know that we're both here for each other though, no matter what.

CD25 / 2 DPO

My BBT this morning was 98.2ºF, and my charts now state that I ovulated on Wednesday which would make today 3 DPO. I'm pretty sure I ovulated on Thursday though, because of all the cramps I had that night, so I think I'm 2 DPO. Either way, I ovulated! And either way, we timed sex well; both FF and CTP gave me high scores for intercourse timing!

If we conceive this cycle (fingers crossed!) our baby's estimated date of delivery (EDD) will be April 11th or April 12th 2012. Seeing as we live in Phoenix, Arizona, April would be a wonderful month to give birth; I'd much rather be heavily pregnant in the spring than the summer! Whichever way it happens, I'm going to fully embrace pregnancy. It'd just be far more comfortable to be heavily pregnant when it's not 100ºF+!

If I go by my charts and assume I am in fact 3 DPO today, then I'll take my first HPT in 5 days - Thursday July 28th. I know that at only 8 DPO the likelihood of a HPT being positive isn't that high, but I know I won't be able to resist! Just as well I bought the Wondfos in bulk, eh?!

Right now I'm having some little twinges in my pelvic area, it's probably too early for implantation but maybe something positive is happening! :-)

CD24 / 1 DPO

Well, I think I did ovulate last night when I was having all that cramping. My BBT this morning was 98.1ºF! That's way higher than it's ever been since I started charting on CD1. My charts won't confirm ovulation until the temps stay high for 3 days, so I'll have to wait and see. I think it's definitely promising though! :-)

I have 2 charts - one on www.fertilityfriend.com and another on www.countdowntopregnancy.com. I prefer the latter, the website is much nicer! They both do the job though. I guess it's kind of pointless to have 2 charts but I'm interested to see if they both agree on my ovulation date.

Here's my chart from www.countdowntopregnancy.com:

Here's my chart from www.fertilityfriend.com:

They show the same information, just in a slightly different way. I had to really tweak the first graph to get it to show up properly, I guess they don't want you copying and pasting it elsewhere! Oops :-)

Last night we DTD again, despite already having done it yesterday afternoon. Hubby was really horny for some reason and I wasn't going to say no! Anyway, if I did ovulate yesterday, which I really think I did, then I'm sure it couldn't hurt.

I feel good about this cycle, I'm glad I've been charting because if I hadn't then I probably would've assumed that I ovulated a week ago and that's clearly not the case. I think we've timed DTD well, too, twice on O day and once 2 days prior to it.

As I said to my gorgeous hubby last night, if we're not successful this cycle then it's certainly not for lack of trying! :-)

CD23

This morning I used both my old thermometer and my new basal thermometer. I used them both in exactly the same way, before I was out of bed. The old one said 97.0ºF and the new one 97.5ºF. Now, I know that ideally you shouldn't change the thermometer during your cycle, but I'm inclined to believe the new thermometer. The reason being, that I used both yesterday but that time I used the new one after I was up and about, and the reading was 0.2ºF higher than with my old one, which I used before I got out of bed. So for there to be a big difference under the exact same conditions seems odd, right? So I'm gonna start using the new one as of tomorrow. I recorded the temperature from the new one today, too.

We DTD last night but didn't finish, hubby was really tired. To be honest, so was I. Nevermind! We DTD when he finished work this afternoon, so it's all good. Since about an hour after that, I've been having pretty intense cramps. They're nowhere near as bad as period cramps, but they're worse than they have been. I've been cramping mildly for several days now, and I figured it must be my body getting ready to ovulate. That correlates with my CM, too. My CM today is very watery still, so it's still classed as fertile. I think I might have ovulated today, because of all the cramping. Of course I could be wrong, we'll see in the morning I guess when I take my BBT.

My skin feels horrible and greasy, I've got what I would call a 'breakout' (3 zits - my hubby was like, "really, that's a breakout?!" - um, for me, yes!). I've also been really sleepy today, I kept falling asleep on the couch when I was trying to watch a couple of TV shows. I'm guessing it's all down to hormones, which again would tie-in with ovulation. :-)

We went to Target today and I bought a 3-pack of First Response Early Result HPTs. I had a coupon for $2 off, from the last pack I had. It was $9.99 for 2 or $12.99 for 3, so I got the 3-pack for $10.99. I have 49 Wondfo tests left, so I'm hardly about to run out, but I want to confirm any potentially positive result I might get on a Wondfo, with a FRER. I now have 4 of those, I had 1 left from last month. Knowing me, when I do get a BFP I'll rush out to buy a digital HPT too, just to see the word 'pregnant'! What can I say, I'm probably not going to believe it right away!

Speaking of BFPs, I really hope that this will be our cycle! If I have just ovulated today or yesterday then I'll have to wait a while to test. When O is confirmed on my charts, I'll probably decide to test on 8DPO, 10DPO, 12DPO and 14DPO. At least the Wondfo tests were only $0.19 each! So even if I do test 4 times, it's still less than $1 wasted (or, hopefully not wasted!)

I'm feeling fairly optimistic this cycle, even though it's CD23 and I still don't have a confirmed ovulation date! When it happens, it'll be better late than never, right?!

CD21

My BBT this morning was normal, but my CM was still very watery and this afternoon I checked it again and it was egg-white! That's a really, really good sign! It means that I'm very close to ovulating - hopefully any day now! :-)

In other news, the house we're hoping to buy appraised for almost $21k less than the asking price, so we're anxiously waiting to hear what the seller is going to do. We're obviously hoping he'll still sell us the house but it's a big difference from what he wanted for it, so we're not sure at all what will happen.

So on the one hand, I'm happy (EWCM!) but on the other, I'm kinda sad and anxious (house uncertainty). There's not much we can do about the house, anyway - our realtor asked the mortgage company if they would allow us to get another appraisal and they said no (the logic being that if the second appraisal came back higher we would be willing to pay that, and thus presumably more likely to get the house). As things stand, the seller could take the house off the market or hold out for a cash offer. Or, he could surprise us and sell us the house. Man, this waiting sucks!

Hopefully going to O...

My CM today is very watery, which is a good sign that ovulation is imminent! Yay! I'm having cramps too so I think something is happening. I'll be so happy when I see ovulation on my charts, it's taking its sweet time that's for sure.

I'm hopeful that we'll be expecting a baby soon, we're certainly trying hard enough! We've been DTD virtually every single day since my period finished, with only 1 day where we didn't DTD at all and then 2 days when we did, but hubby didn't finish. One of those days we tried twice, too. So yeah, if I don't get pregnant this time it's certainly not for lack of trying! :-)

CD20

Still no ovulation according to my charts! Aaargh! I had quite a lot of cramping last night, not painful but noticeable, and was sure I must be about to ovulate. Hmm... Maybe I will today, then? I hate having to wait until tomorrow morning to find out if I ovulated today!

When I woke up and took my BBT this morning, I got the idea in my head to take a HPT. I knew full well that it was 99.9% going to be negative, but I did it anyway. I was right, it was negative! Why I did it, I don't really know. Just as well I bought that pack of 50 for under $10, isn't it? I guess I was trying to rationalize why I haven't ovulated yet and thought, "Well, if I'm pregnant, I won't ovulate!" - even though I know my period was horrendous and there can't be a chance of me being pregnant! This TTC thing drives me crazy sometimes, I swear!

I really, really hope that I will ovulate today. I need to! I'm starting to worry that it might not happen this cycle and that would royally suck. I know that stress can delay ovulation, so I'm trying not to stress about it, but I don't think I'm being super successful. In fact, I'm clearly failing miserably because I can't stop thinking about it!

Now I always said I didn't want to use OPKs but I'm thinking maybe it would be a good idea for my next cycle, if we don't conceive this time. Or, it could also drive me crazy like the temping thing. I was thinking about the temping and how if I wasn't doing it I would just assume I've already ovulated and wouldn't be worried about it, and maybe sometimes ignorance is bliss... However, if you don't ovulate and it becomes a regular thing, you can get Clomid which will make you ovulate, so I guess if I don't ovulate this time or next time, or the time after that, I can go to the doctor and get a prescription for it. I'm hoping I won't need to though! :-)

CD19

I still haven't ovulated... Every morning I hope to see a big temperature rise when I take my BBT but it hasn't happened yet! I'm really hoping that it is actually going to happen, I'd be gutted if it transpired that I'm not ovulating. I'm trying to stay positive and think that I am going to ovulate, and I keep thinking about my last cycle being 35 days so it's not like it's impossible that this cycle will be the same kind of length. I wish I could stop thinking about it, honestly, but that's easier said than done!

On another note, I went to Michaels today for some yarn. I want to start crocheting again, it's been such a long time since I've really done any crochet. I used to crochet little birds and animals. Anyway, they had some yarn on clearance for $0.49 each! I got 4 at that price, another 1 on sale and another 3 full price. In total, 8 balls of yarn for under $15! That's totally awesome, where I'm from (the U.K.) you'd never get this much yarn for that price! I even got a cool rainbow yarn, not sure what I'll make with it but I'm sure it'll be interesting anyway. :-)

CD18

Today is CD18. According to my BBT chart I haven't ovulated yet, maybe it's going to be like last month and it'll happen around CD20. I just hope that I do ovulate!!!

We DTD today and yesterday. Wednesday and Thursday we DTD but didn't finish. I was pretty upset at the time but seeing as I haven't ovulated yet anyway it doesn't matter!

We went to TJ Maxx today and I caved and bought a really cute baby blanket. It's really soft and it's a beige-type color with giraffes on it! It's totally gender neutral so that's kinda how I justified my purchase... Plus, it was only $5.99 so that makes it OK too, right? :-)

CD16

I had some light spotting yesterday, which could be ovulation spotting. It's stopped now. I read about it and apparently it can happen 2-3 days prior to ovulation, so perhaps I'll ovulate today or tomorrow. I haven't had any BBT rise yet, so it hasn't happened yet. The day after ovulation is when you get a significant temperature rise, so if I ovulate today then I should have a jump on my chart tomorrow. We'll see! My CM has been pretty wet lately too which is a good sign!

We've been DTD a lot lately, so far we've done it on these days:

CD7, CD8, CD9, CD11, CD12, CD13, CD14. We DTD yesterday, CD15, but unfortunately didn't finish so it doesn't really count.

We'll DTD again today, and continue to do so at least every other day until I get a sustained BBT rise.

Sunday was interesting - our A/C broke down in the morning (or perhaps during Saturday night) and we had to go stay with the in-laws until it was fixed on Monday. Our house by lunchtime was unbearably hot! Our dogs can't survive in high heat and to be honest, we were struggling a lot too. So off we went to the in-laws' house, to stay in their guest room. Well, that was an experience! TTC at the in-laws' house, even though we knew I probably wasn't fertile then, was funny. The bed must be the squeakiest bed in the world, ever - that wasn't an option! We ended up DTD on the floor, which was far from comfortable, but we managed! Anyway, I don't think that's how our baby will be conceived... I haven't ovulated yet so it's been too long, really. Would've made for a funny story though!

I'm having intermittent cramping at the moment so I probably am going to ovulate soon. Here's hoping that we're successful this month! :-)

Now, if we were successful and we conceive this cycle, our baby would be due early April. That would be awesome because it won't be too hot here then - I can't imagine how tough it would be to be heavily pregnant in the summer here, I'd much prefer to give birth April-May time than June-September! Of course though, whatever will be will be. However, my friend and her family from the UK are planning to come and visit in April for a couple of weeks, and we've said they can stay with us (providing we have the new house by then - otherwise it would be impossible!). Well, the thing is, if I do get pregnant this cycle and everything goes well, that's not really going to work out is it?! I mean, if I'm due to give birth or have just given birth, we won't be wanting 4 visitors at that time. Plus, if that does happen, hopefully my family would want to come out here. I was talking to my friend on Skype this morning and she was saying that they're still planning on coming over here, they haven't booked anything yet but they're still hoping to come, and at the moment they're trying to sell their house and downsize. I wanted to tell her we're TTC, but I didn't think there was much point because just because we're TTC doesn't mean we necessarily will conceive right away. Maybe we won't conceive for a few months, in which case it would be fine having them to stay in April. On the one hand I did think maybe we should wait to try, but there will always be something that will make timing inconvenient, right? I mean, we have to live our lives for ourselves and not for everyone else. I'm sure my friend will be very happy for us whenever I do get pregnant, even if it kind of causes issues for them visiting. I still feel a little guilty though, but at the moment there's really nothing to tell her. Sure, we're TTC, but we don't have any actual news yet so I don't really see the point of telling people that. Plus, it would only add to the stress if people were asking all the time how it's going!!!!!

CD7

That was a horrible period, but it's over now thank goodness!

Not related to TTC, but we've just had a big disappointment regarding the house we were hoping to buy. We made our offer 3 months ago (it's a short sale) and we found out last Tuesday that our offer had been accepted. We were so excited! Then yesterday we had our inspection done, and it was bad news. There were lots of problems uncovered, not least problems with the foundations which have caused a hump in the floor of one of the bedrooms (the window has shifted too) and electrical wiring problems, plumbing problems and water damage and mold problems. After speaking with our realtor today, who advised us that the bank who owns the property will not do anything about any of these problems, we've withdrawn our offer. We're totally gutted, we were supposed to be closing on the house on July 21st and we couldn't be more disappointed. All that waiting for nothing. We were so looking forward to living there and now we're going to have to start over again, looking at more houses. We have an appointment on Friday to view a few houses, we're just so disappointed and I feel so empty. I haven't been able to eat today, I just feel sick with sadness.

I hope this doesn't interfere with TTC this cycle - I should be fertile from Saturday through to next Wednesday and I'm really hoping this will be our month...